Post # 1
So, the Fiance and I have been living in a one bedroom apartment for 2 years now, after a bout of roommates and different living situations.
In the last few months, I lost my job, our rent was increased to the annual maximum, and we found out that a friend of ours is moving out of her room in a two bedroom which is in the same building as us, and her roommate is a very good friend of ours.
We were tossing around the idea of taking her room. I’ve done my pros and cons list, and it’s all very hypothetical – her roommate would need to decide if she wants to live with a couple, and we happen to have a dog so that’s new too.
My pros are that we would be saving money, we already get along great with the roommate, we would have an en suite bathroom and we would get to stay in our area. Plus, we have a 2 year savings plan to buy a house so this would help us save money to make the dream more realistic and we would know it’s just a temporary situation if things go south.
The only real con is that we’ve been alone for awhile now and are very used to our privacy…which would obviously change as all shared spaces would be, well…shared.
No decisions have been made yet, this is seriously the first time we’re even actually considering it as a possibility.
Would you entertain the idea of moving? Or is adding a roommate to your relationship mix way too much?
Post # 3
I don’t think we would do it…unless our financial situation really necessitated it.We’re both pretty antisocial and enjoy our privacy, so it wouldn’t work out well. But, I’ve seen it work great with other couples/roommates! Just depends on how much you’re willing to compromise.
Post # 4
The only way I’d do it is if there was absolutely no other option. I’ve never seen it turn out good, in my personal experience. I mean, I guess if the other roomate is gone a lot, or if you guys are… but if you’re all gonna be home a lot of the same time, then no. I just feel like little things can blow up and become major conflicts. Like, what if roomate is a TV hog and hogs the living room TV? Do you wanna have to be in your room all the time? What if they have loud sex? What if you and Fiance want to have loud sex? Lol!
The upside is having your own bathroom, though! I definitely could not do the sharing a bathroom thing.
Post # 5
I don’t think I could no. Never again after uni.
Post # 6
Hm. I would normally say no.
But it’s temporary with an end in sight, gets you closer to wher. You want to e goal wise.
I’d do it.
Post # 7
yes, definately because money does matter. Not that you need oodles of it, but having a bit extra to save or to go to the movies can do wonders for your relationship compared to wondering how a bill will get paid and spending every night at home.
However, that said, I would be sure to establish boundaries to start. Who is buying what food and are you sharing? Whats the schedule for buying toilet paper? Cleaning? etc.
Saving a little extra money and having a roommate that works (takes prep) can be fun and help your future years a lot.
Post # 8
I have never and could never live with a roommate. You and your fiancé should have privacy.
Post # 9
I wouldn’t do it personally but I’m tough to live with. I have a routine with the Fiance and we don’t like anyone messing with our routine. I also like to watch tv in my underpants, which wouldn’t work too well with the roommate.
Post # 10
My Fiance and live with a roomate and it works great. It just depends on the situation
Post # 11
I couldn’t do it. I’ve had some very bad experiences with roommates that were supposed to be good friends.
Post # 12
I’m moving down to New Zealand and in with my guy at the end of May next year after I graduate and he has two guys (friends of his from work) that rent rooms in the house he owns. While there’s some unfortunate things about it (3 guys, no toilet seat down, lots of dirty dishes in the sink, once I found a random hot dog sitting on the counter at 8 AM after they had all left for work . . ) there’s also some really positive things like with their work schedules I’ll never be completely alone in the house for at least the first few months and there’s always someone to help me figure my way around the country and what the social norms are.
I know my SO is kind of pleased about it too because he’s uncomfortable leaving me entirely to my own devices as I may or may not like to demolish a few of the nuisance walls with a sledgehammer or perhaps by accidentally falling foot first through one a few times over. But there’s also that comfort of knowing that there’s someone else at the house with me in case I have some sort of problem and he isn’t there. Did I mention that my middle name is Trouble?
Post # 13
I personally wouldn’t. You might have your own bathroom, but you still have to share the kitchen and living room… not to mention chores! My fiancé and i lived with my sister for 6 months (I know it’s different because it was my sister…), but three is a crowd, we found ourselves all being roomies instead of a couple and a roomie. Very hard to have alone time and connecting as a couple for when it’s REALLY needed, to talk, argue, even sex… Chances are, you guys and this roomate wont always see eye to eye… This is just my opinion, but i would not. It pushed our relationship to the brink, we even broke up for 5 days. if you have any friend-feelings for this roomie, i would advise against it, your SO might have to vent about her/him and it might be really hard for you to play the middle person, as i had to do with my sister and SO. those are just my experiences tho…… Good luck, i hope you make the right decision for you.
Post # 14
I wouldn’t… Fiance and I have 3 extra full bedrooms and an ensuite bath, and we can’t even bring ourselves to rent them to someone. It can work for people who are really mellow and social. Fiance and I just…aren’t. Fiance loves being naked. Like he’s either in his military uniform for work, or he’s naked. That was his big reason for the “no renters allowed” clause.
It does work for some people though, and saving the money for your house is a great option!
Post # 15
Only if the dog is allowed!
Post # 16
Thanks for the replies everyone!
Like I said, it’s all hypothetical. We have both lived with roomies before, and had both good and bad experiences. I’m not terribly worried about personal relationships because the roommate who we would have is someone I am comfortable living with (hence why this is up for consideration in the first place). But a lot of what is being emphasized is privacy, which is really my only HUGE con. We’ve gotten really comfortable being on our own in our own space.
It’s definitely going to require some thought. Loving the input!!