(Closed) NWR Writing the person who murdered my friend…

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
1638 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@MsPanda:  *BIG HUG*

I’ve had two friends murdered: one male friend 3 years ago who was killed in a robbery gone wrong and a girlfriend who was murdered by her ex boyfriend. All I can tell you is feel free to cry and smile are the memories. Everyone is allotted a certain time on Earth to serve a purpose. Love them forever in your heart.

Post # 4
329 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

@MsPanda:  I’m so sorry you had to deal with this terrible situation. I think it’s a difficult thing to navigate. There is no right way to mourn someone you’ve lost in a terrible way. I haven’t had a friend murdered, but my ex-boyfriend’s brother murdered their grandparent then himself this past year. We have been broken up for years, but I viewed these grandparents are my grandparents growing up. I was heartbroken for months afterward.

It’s very hard to understand or comprehend WHY someone would ever kill someone. In their case it was for drug money, and your case a measy amount of cash. It’s senseless and no matter what the reason it happened, it won’t make things better.The best thing you can do is remember and cherish all the good memories you had with your friend and know that their life had a purpose and a meaning to all those who loved them.



Post # 5
5118 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@MsPanda:  I’m so sorry that you had such an experience. How awful to lose someone like that. I don’t have any experience like that, but I’m sending you my hugs!

As for the letter, I know it’s mail so it’s likely federal law stuff now, but perhaps you could contact the prison (if he’s in prison currently) and tell them that a theraputic letter you wrote was sent by accident without your permisison and that you would really prefer that the sensitive document not be delivered to the person. It’s a bit of a long shot, but seeing as they usually screen prisoner mail anyway, they may be able to pull it if they’re legally allowed to, since it was essentially sent without your permission. 

Post # 6
5096 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

I’m SO sorry for your loss. That is absolutely heartbreaking.

If the murderer does write back, maybe have your Fiance read it first, and tell you, in vague terms, what the letter is like. (Repentent, manipulative, hostile…) Then you can decide if you want to read it or not, and brace yourself for what it will contain if you do.

Post # 7
3081 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I’m so sorry you are going through this. I have no comments other than what the PP said, but I am a tiny bit nervous that this man now has your address (assuming so since there is the possibility that he would write back). If you are concerned about that, it could be worth mentioning to the police in your area just as an FYI. 

Chin up, mourning gets a little bit easier as time goes on…but you do have to give yourself in to it. Sounds like you are doing that now. 

Post # 8
4432 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@kate02121:  i thought of the same thing…about her address being on the envelope. 

OP, I’m sorry you’re going thru this, and although it didn’t go as planned, I wish you the best in your healing process!

Post # 9
9955 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

Ya it sucks.  We lost my baby brother (17 at the time) in a horrible teenage “situation” gone wrong.  He was basically left to bleed to death by some “so called friends”… who were out joy-riding when they offered him a ride when he was walking home… and ending up losing control of the vehicle and having a horrific car accident.

30+ Years on, and I’ve learned how to live with the grief (it devastated my parents, they’ve never been the same since)… BUT it doesn’t mean that it totally goes away.

He was a very kind and gifted / artistic person, cannot imagine how much better the world would be if he was still here today.

On the otherhand, I’ve come to realize that EVERY LIFE has a purpose… he’s made me see the good in ALL People, to understand that Revenge is not a productive emotion.  And that there are no doubt countless people who think of him, and miss him too… he touched a lot of lives in his 17 short years. 

I am still hurt (not so much angy anymore… gave that feeling up to God)… at the same time, I’ve come to recognize that there is a cost to be paid for this… be it Lady Karma here on earth (she is one H3LL of a B!tch sometimes) or with our maker in the future.  Not my waters to navigate… I am certain that one of them will take the rudder… and steer that ship.

By The Way… Don’t beat yourself up to hard on Hubby-2-B mailing out the letter.  Everything happens for a reason, your words may make a difference, only God will ever know.

Hold tight to your memories, it is how the living hold onto the past, and the passed onto life.  They live on in those of us who LOVE them.

(( HUGS ))


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