(Closed) OB apts feel inadequate…thoughts?

posted 6 years ago in Pregnancy
Post # 3
1498 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

First, congratulations!!

It really sucks that you haven’t had time to really talk with your pracitioner. I’m sorry that your appointments have left you feel like this during such an exciting time.

Honestly, in the begining as long as everything is looking okay…not much happens at your appointments. Its just a series of general checks ups. However, you should be able to ask questions at each appointment just like you should be able to do with any doctor’s visit. And you should never felt rushed like you have been. I would suggest at your next visit, for you to voice your concern. Calmly but clearly state that you haven’t felt like you’ve been able to discuss anything with your practioner and that you have some questions and would like some information about your pregnancy and what to expect. I would also start keeping a written list of your questions. That’s extremely helpful for both you and your practioner! As a nurse, I encourage patients to do that all the time.

I’m in healthcare and had a lot of experience under my belt when I got pregnant. However, all rationale and comprehension went out the window and was replaced by overwhelming emotion when the tables were turned and this baby was in my belly. My former OB, whom I adore, had a wonderful system in place during my pregnancy. I was always encouraged to ask questions about any aspect of pregnancy, labor, delivery, etc but at the end of each of my appointments, she sat down and reviewed 3 things: 1. What happened during my appointment. 2. What would happen at my next appointment. and 3. What to expect/look out for in the time between this appointment and the next. It was just a simple review that took maybe 3-5 minutes most times but it was enough to reaffirm that she was listening and aware of what was going on and enough to keep me focused.

I think talking to your pracitioner is the first step, though. Good luck and keep us posted!

Post # 4
1482 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

From everything you’ve said, it sounds like the particular practice is a bit disorganized and perhaps understaffed. You might be better off switching to an OB practice that has a more organized office, organized procedure for pregnancies, etc. At that first appointment, they should have given you tons of information, packets, etc. about having a healthy pregnancy, or at least by the 2nd (most offices won’t even see you until you’re 8 weeks simply because you can’t see anything right when you get that positive pregnancy test, it causes unnecessary worry). However, it sounds like maybe you got pushed off onto a midwife at your 2nd appointment and not your actual doctor? It was hard to tell from your post, but maybe that midwife is just not experienced enough to know what she was talking about??? From everything you said, it seems like she really didn’t know what she was doing, and that would terrrify me- I would definitely not want her anywhere near me or my pregnancy if she’s misdiagnosing bleeding that’s not there and couldn’t even tell you how far along you were accurately!

I would absolutely bring up your concerns at your next appointment regarding the fact that you didn’t feel like you got adequate information or time during your 2nd appointment, and ensure that you get the time to ask all of your questions. You are entitled to that time, and if your OB isn’t going to give it to you, you need to find one that will.


Post # 5
5977 posts
Bee Keeper

I would definitely bring up your concerns at your next appointment. It sounds as if your first appointment, you weren’t far enough along to be able to see much. The fact that your midwife was rushing at the second appointment is why you couldn’t ask any questions there, and an ultrasound tech can’t answer any questions that an OB or a midwife would be able to. The only thing the U/S tech can do is report back to the OB or midwife what they see.

I’d schedule a follow-up appointment with your midwife and ask all the questions you have. Either that or give her a call and see if she’ll answer your questions over the phone. 

Post # 6
3771 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 1999

I think a big thing here is not really knowing how far along you were. Most people don’t even go in until they are 8-10 weeks, so having the US and determining the date is really all she would do at this point. I would go to your next appointment, which should be like a regular monthly appointment now and see how it goes. If at that point you still don’t feel like you were given enough time/information then I would start looking for a different provider.

Post # 7
275 posts
Helper bee

Oh I totally get this! With our first my doctor didn’t even give me any do’s and don’t paperwork. I had to ask for any of that stuff. She was very medical and non-caring. Our second doctor was great. Answered my ridiculous questions, took time even when I knew she was busy. She really was exactly what I needed. It’s okay to change doctors in your practice if your’e not comfortable.

Post # 9
887 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2010

Lol, it really must depend on your clinic/doctor. At my first appt, the nurse handed me a book to read and said if I had any questions beyond that book to ask her. The doctor is literally in and out in under 2 minutes each appt– enough time to ask: “Everything ok? No spotting, cramping, or unusual discharge? Still moving?” and to use the doppler to hear her heartbeat. I really prefer that it’s so short and to the point. (I’m 34 weeks now)

If you’re uncomfortable with how things are going, absolutely look into a new doctor. You’re going to be working with this person for a long time! Plus, you (or your insurance) is paying them a lot of money.

Post # 10
15 posts
  • Wedding: November 1999

When I went to my first appointment, I was about 10 weeks too. I went to one appt. with an OB and one with a midwife. At the hospital, when I was supposed to see the OB, I was actually helped instead by a resident. He was nice enough, but the appointment lasted 15 minutes and he only answered a few questions, told me about some upcoming tests, and then said… see you next month! 

At the midwife appointment, I was scheduled for 2 hours – they took me on a tour of the birth centre, addressed my huge list of questions, gave me tons of resources to take home (pamphlets, a book, handouts) and scheduled the next appointment with me.

Needless to say, my personal choice was to go with the birth centre. As this is my first pregnancy, I too have tons of questions and would really like good and attentive care. I would recommend seeing what your options are – if you can have a doula or midwife at your birth, try to get one early and then you can use them as a source of information throughout the pregnancy. I know that doulas are great that way and usually keep in good contact with you.

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