(Closed) Obligated to inform, but not invite

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 4
Member
6015 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

I’m not sure telling someone that you’re getting married but they aren’t invited is the way to go.  I didn’t invite a few relatives and kept my stuff off FB and after the wedding I sent them an “FYI”

Post # 5
Member
2891 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

Send wedding announcements after the fact. It will be much simpler 😀

Post # 8
Member
6355 posts
Bee Keeper

Just tell them you’re engaged. Don’t say anything about the wedding. If they ask say you’re still planning things. Then never bring up the wedding again, until it’s a done deal.

Post # 10
Member
1856 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

Announce your engagement – through a phone call, a paper announcement, Facebook or an email. Leave the wedding talk out of it completely. We had a ton of people we either wanted to inform we were engaged or who we knew we had to inform that we were engaged out of politeness (relatives), and so eventually we just did an FB relationship status change to alert them. I almost always find out that friends/relatives are getting married through Facebook or a mass email and I’ve never felt offended or upset not to have heard about it otherwise.

I would also keep your wedding talk to a minimum in potentially awkward situations. Of course most people will ask questions and want to know how your planning is going, but if you’re worried they might feel offended, just tell things are still in the works but you’re thinking it may be a very private affair.

Post # 11
Member
9952 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

@secondchances:  —> THIS is the proper Etiquette way to handle this problem

Otherwise if it should come up in conversation IRL beforehand you can either use the suggestion that joya_aspera:  gave “Engaged & Planning”… OR the ever popular “We are planning a small intimate family Wedding in ___ for   (month)   ” and be sure to stress the SMALL INTIMATE FAMILY part.

 

Post # 13
Member
3092 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Okay, so you’re talking about old friends/sorority sisters that you have no contact with atm?  Wouldn’t it be pretty weird to call them up out of the blue just to talk about your getting married when you haven’t been in contact regarding other life events or just friendship stuff?

I say do what you say is inevitable, make your We’re so happy to be engaged on your FB.  Talk about how excited you are to share the news with friends and family near or far old and new.  That’s it. 

 Some may contact you and in that event you would let them know you’re having a small intimate affair or w/e.

IMO.

Post # 14
Member
3092 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

You posted right before me…looks like you have it figured out 🙂

Post # 15
Member
305 posts
Helper bee

their life doesn’t amount to being invited to your wedding.  they could care less (really). don’t even send an announcement or anything. they really could care less. focus on the things that matter. like your family and friends that ARE invited 🙂

 

Post # 16
Member
9952 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

TO roxymalone:  ouch !! 

That was kind of judgemental with the “they could care less” statement put out there not once but twice in your posting.

I don’t know about you, but I think a lot of us have “old friends” in our lives that we may not see all the time but still care about in a “nice” way.

 

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