Post # 1
I have a friend that is getting married this weekend. I am not a bridesmaid. Last week, in person, she asked me if I wanted to get my hair and make up done with her. I said sure. It wasn’t completely clear if we were just getting ready together in the same room or having stylists come in and do our hair and make up for us. Either way, I figured she would provide more info later.
I just got an email from her addressed to all the ladies getting ready with her. She is expecting $300 from each of us to pay for hair and make up. I think this is a lot of money, and frankly, I’m very happy to do my own hair and make-up. I wrote her letting her know that I wasn’t sure if she was hiring professionals (clearly she is) and that I didn’t want my make up done professionally (I usually hate it), but I would be fine with getting my hair done.
She wrote back saying it’s too late to cancel. I feel like she should have disclosed the cost prior to signing me up, especially since it’s on the higher end, and not just tell me a day before her wedding. I’m already annoyed that she made me book a much more expensive hotel room than I normally would have chosen for myself, but I sucked it up since I thought I could better afford it than her other guests and space is limited.
What do you all think? Should I just suck it up, chalk it up to bridezilla/wedding stress and eat the cost?
Post # 2
Um, what a shady-ass move. Especially considering the hotel room thing.
Honestly, if I were you, I’d tell the bride she should have been up front about the cost (or, you know, even that there was one), that you can’t swing that amount of money, and suggest she find someone else who’s ready/willing to pay for it that can take your place, then.
I feel like I’ve been saying this on the bee so much lately, but here we go again: your friend sounds like an ass.
Post # 3
Uhhhh this sounds like miscommunication.
But. The bride should have been upfront with you about exactly what she meant by “get ready with me”. Then again – you could have asked too. When it comes to weddings there is pretty much always a stylist involved so the bride probably assumed that you agreeing with her, meant you were happy to get everything done professionally.
Still she should have told you how much it costs.
Frankly, I’m paying for my stylist to do HMU for my bridesmaids and my mother. It’s costing me over $1k but it’s a cost I’m bearing because it was my choice to have a professional come in.
But end of the day, you don’t have to pay it. It’s not your wedding. You’re not even in it. It’s just an awkward situation.
I’d tell the bride “thanks but nah” – she can’t make you pay it .
Post # 4
It sounds as if she needed one more body to secure her contract. Of course she should have disclosed the cost before booking your appointment and unless she’s entirely clueless she knows she is taking advantage of you. $300, plus a tip, for something you don’t even want? Graciously decline.
Post # 5
- Wedding: April 2016 - Tennessee
Wow! That sucks, she definitely should have let everyone know ahead of time. In our culture we don’t offer something and expect the person to pay. So I find this highly rude. Sorry bee 😔
Post # 6
$300?! My bridal makeup was $300. That’s really steep. She should habe asked first. Wtf.
Post # 7
If anyone in our group tried this they’d get this text.
“Beotch you never told me you were hiring a pro nor asked about cost. No thank you.”
Post # 8
“sorry, ill be getting ready at home”
Post # 9
Screw that. That’s rude and shady. You’re not obligated to pay for anything like that. I’d respond back saying “The price wasn’t disclosed in the initial request so I’m going to respectfully decline the services” she can’t force you to pay.
Post # 10
It is extremely rude of a person to sign someone up to spend xx amount of their own money without having checked with that person if it is ok.
If you only want your hair done, then stick with that and she can figure out the rest. You also were not even made a bridesmaid (not to rub salt if there is a wound there) so the fact she had you pay for some hotel room you wouldnt normally is also pretty crap. You need to draw the line.
Post # 11
Hell no. Don’t even feel one ounce of funny about declining. That is completely ridiculous.
Post # 12
If she can’t cancel it, she should pay for it.
Post # 13
Thanks everyone for the replies. It didn’t occur to me that she may have needed one more person for her contract, but that makes sense.
Part of me wishes I was as cool as everyone else here, but I don’t want to be the source of stress right before a wedding. I will let her know that I think the price is high and I wish I had known about it before hand. This will hopefully help her realize for future endeavors, that I’m not made of money.
Then, I will give her a much smaller wedding gift than I had orginally planned for. Hey, I had a budget for her wedding.
Post # 14
You don’t want to be a source of stress to her, but that’s literally what she is to your right now. You don’t owe money you didn’t agree to pay. Period.
Post # 15
She’s full of crap. If you haven’t paid you can cancel. I don’t get the hotel thing though.
What you call miscommunication I call being an asshole.