Post # 1
So….I am sure I am not the only one to receive comments on their e-ring that they don’t quite know how to interpret. Actually, I know how to interpret them but I never know how to respond at the time other than just bite my tongue.
I had my shower in NYC recently and although I was looking forward to it, I was dreading the NYC girl comments on my ring. I live in DC and by no means have a NYC ring but I don’t want one either. I am not flashy, I don’t live beyond my means, etc.
Keep in mind these are from cousins (FAMILY):
“Oh, that’s very appropriate for DC” = To me that means it’s conservative…why would you say that. Might as well just say, “That is perfect for the Arctic Tundra where on one has rings, and there is no one there to see it”
“Let me see your ring! Oh….it’s…cute!” = um? cute?
“Awww your ring…omg have you seen (newly engaged cousin’s)? It’s amazing!”
There were other comments too but I think they were nice. Why can’t people just say it’s beautiful and be done with it. I have a pretty tough skin but I knew the comments were coming but I didn’t expect them to come from who they did.
What are some of the most obnoxious comments you bees have received?
Post # 3
People are stupid. The only semi-negative comment I’ve gotten is when my mom said something in front of my cousin’s about my fi ordering my ring online (He got it via bluenile) and they were like……. OMG HE GOT IT ONLINE?! as though that was a terrible thing. I mitigated by just saying “Yep! he knew I wanted a cushion cut diamond and those are almost impossible to find in NORMAL jewelry stores so he had to special order it for me.” hahaha. I think it is all about framing the situation.
Post # 4
I know how you feel. My MOM even said something off handed to me the day after we got engaged like, for what he paid, I wish he could’ve gotten a bigger diamond. UHHHH? WHAT?! Why would you even say that? It’s not even a small diamond.
Rings are a ridiculous part of the whole thing.. I’ve been amazed at the comments from people… from a random girl at the movies asking if I would take off my ring, so she could see it.. (seriously?) to an acquaintance asking for every single spec on my ring.. ‘how big is the diamond?’ ‘what is the total weight of the diamonds on the band?’ Then when I responded (because I didn’t know how to say, YOU ARE SO RUDE, DON’T ASK ME THAT), she goes, ‘oh, okay, mine’s bigger.’
People are nuts. Absolutely nuts.
Post # 5
i had someone say to me, “your ring is pretty! i just don’t think i would have gone with such a plain band…it’s just so..PLAIN” (i have a super sparkly solitaire that *i* picked out!). WTF?
i’ve also had another friend say this to me (knowing my ring was pretty expensive because she went ONLINE and figured it out)–“i don’t know why people spend xxxx amount on a diamond ring. i would rather buy a nice used car with that money or put it towards something useful“.
i am not normally a violent person, but whenever people make a snarky comment about my ring, i want to punch them in the face.
Post # 6
I don’t think it’s crazy, I think it’s unbelievably rude! I don’t blame anyone for wanting to punch someone who would say something obnoxious.
Post # 7
people are so rude. I agree with Corgi, its all about framing it. But sometimes you are taken so off guard by the snark that you can’t think of something awesome to say back 🙁
Post # 8
A couple weeks after we were engaged, I ran into a friend who had told EVERYBODY that she and her then BF were about to get engaged, had gone ring shopping, etc. She asked to see my ring, I handed over my hand. She says to me “Aww, I love the setting but I would want a much bigger stone.” Ummmm, what? That is so rude. Also, my diamond is not ginormous, but it is over 1 ct, so I personally don’t think it’s all that small. I just sort of shook it off but I was so taken aback! It also made me way self-conscious about the size of my ring. She now has her ring and I would say it is probably over 2 carats so I guess she got what she wanted!
Post # 9
Since FH and I picked out my ring together after we got engaged, he bought me a cute litte sterling silver CZ as a placemaker until the real thing arrived in 4 weeks.
So, we saw his sister and she’s eyeing up my fake ring (which was a three stone, center stone probably equivalent to 1 carat) and asks to look at it. And I tell her, well this is the placemaker, my ring had to be custom ordered. And then I showed her a picture of my real ring.
And she says “Oh good, I thought [FH] had more sense than that!” As in – he’d be an idiot to buy a big diamond?!?
The kicker? My e-ring has a 1.07 carat center diamond in a halo setting. And some mini diamonds on the band. So it’s actually bigger than my fake ring that she found to be so ostentatious.
I told FH this and he just said “really, she said that?!? Don’t let her make you upset – you like it and that’s what matters.” Such a sweetie.
Post # 10
hmmm…I’m an “NYC girl” living in DC and I would never make such rude comments. My entire family and SO’s live there and they wouldn’t say such things either. Not sure it’s a regional thing at all so I would refrain from making that generalization. People are rude everywhere as I’m sure other bees can attest to.
Post # 11
@ Uskadelig – she said hers was bigger???? I would have lost it. All, it’s so good to hear I am not the only one. I am proud of all of you for showing restraint. I am trying to focus on the amazing relationship I have with my man and a ring doesn’t define that – BUT the rudeness is unreal. You all have some pretty shocking stories.
Post # 12
@jjilyeah – You are right. I am sorry…I meant the rudeness happens everywhere…but generally rings are bigger in NYC and LA and I was just nervous heading up there 🙂
Post # 13
- Wedding: September 2010 - Heinz Chapel Ceremony, Museum Reception
The rudest comment I’ve ever gotten was from my aunt. My ring has an aquamarine center stone, so it’s somewhat non-traditional. My aunt took one look, BURST out laughing, and goes, “do you LIKE that?!” To this day, I am impressed with myself for responding as tactfully as I did.
Post # 14
Ouch. My e-ring is not large, about 1 carat, but I have very small fingers so it tends to look larger on my finger. A friend told asked me if it was fake. LOL.
Post # 15
Cheese_Fries: I KNOW! The ring rudeness really shows peoples’ insecurities. The saddest thing about that particular situation is that we’re really good friends with her FI and what she doesn’t know is that he signed up for all those weird medical testing experiements that you hear advertised on TV just to be able to pay for her ring. Seriously… people, get your priorities straight!
Post # 16
I have people who look at my ring and say: “Hmmm…that’s interesting.” And there is another instance where there is this one girl at work looking at pictures of my wedding set and looking at the no frills wedding set of another co-worker. She said to me: “I’d rather have her ring.” Honestly, I think people are taken aback when they see something that’s not the “typical” wedding set. This is what I’ve discovered at least.