- 2 weeks ago
- Wedding: January 2005
So I come from a large family. Im the oldest of ten children. I dont have a close relationship with many of my siblings because my mother is a Narcissist. She pitted most of us against each other from the time we were little. Some of us have overcome the damage she has done to us and as our mother has aged and is now living with Alzheimers, those of us who used to argue now have a good relationships.
My sister nearest to me and I have a fantastic relationship. Her daughter just had a baby and after a medical emergency I was able to keep the baby while she was in the hospital. I love my sister and she is really cool now that we are adults and dont fall into our mothers trying to play us against each other.
My next sibling down is a paranoid schizophrenic with a history of drug abuse and violence and because she refuses to take her meds she poses a danger to us and so I dont have anything to do with her. Last time I let her in my life, my daughter was an infant and she pulled a knife on us and tried to stab me while I was holding my daughter
My next sibling, a sister and I have a fairly decent relationship, we still have to check in with each other to make sure my mom is not up to her old tricks. We have slowly been repairing our relationship. She has finally figured out that our mother has had a major impact on her life in a very awful way.
My next sibling is the golden child who can do no wrong. I mean no wrong whatsoever. She is the baby of the oldest siblings because there is a gap in several years before the next ones were born. My sister married a child molestor, had a child with him, a boy, after her husband molested his three sons from a previous marriage.
I wont go into the younger ones only to say that they have been in and out of jail most of their adult lives due to criminal behavior. Everything from robbery to drugs.
So anyway, my baby sister, the golden child, cut us all off a few years ago when she had a baby with her husband who is a child molester. He has been convicted of child molestation and trading child pornography with other predators. We did not welcome him to family gatherings because we all have children and he was a danger to them. She claimed the pornography wasnt his, his ex wife made it up, except the police found pictures of him molesting them and sharing it with other predators.
So she cut us off. No phone calls, no visits, no nothing for the last five years. We havent heard from her at all. Now she has popped back up and is insisting that she needs to move in with our mother. Our mother had a stroke last year and is in no position to help her. She wants our mother who has stroke damage and who has alzheimers to watch her son. Her son is autistic and is out of control. He is so bad that none of the schools will take him because of his violent behavior. I dont say this because Im being mean about autism, but going by what two of my siblings have said he has major issues and my sister allows him to bully, scream, hit, and she just gives in to him to make him quiet. My little nieces and nephews are terrified of him because he has hurt them. Then she blames them even though they are smaller than he is.
Anyways, I have not had to much to say to her because my kids are almost grown and since we live a little bit away from them its easy to avoid her. My sister is a know it all tantrum thrower when she doesnt get her way, courtesy of being the golden child. The last time she spoke to me she said some very unkind things about my children who I think are fairly well behaved. She had made disparaging remarks about my daughters skin condition. She has vitaligo and her skin doesnt look like everyone elses. My sister in all seriousness said we should do like Michael Jackson and bleach her. That was it I was done.
Well this morning out of the blue, Im getting my dose of chemo when she messages me and asked me to do her taxes. I was like what? No hi, no how are you, no nothing. Just a message five years after the last time I spoke to her after she disparaged my child. I was like Im busy this morning. Im at getting a chemo treatment.
She didnt even hesitate, didnt ask what my chemo was for, she said Im gonna email you my stuff and if you could do my taxes would be great. I was furious. I had to remain calm because I tend to do better after chemo if I am calm. So anyways she never missed a beat, she just kept on messaging about how she had to cash out her IRA and she needed help.
The best I could manage at the moment was, use Turbo Tax, I am not a tax expert. Yes occassionally I do volunteer to help friends with their taxes as I am very competent in tax laws and the only thing I need to do to qualify as a tax professional is to finish a CPA exam. However, I wouldnt help her if she was the last person on this earth after the awful things she said to and about my daughter.
I swear I am just done with that lot. I have a good relationship with two of my siblings, but its because we have worked at not being manipulated by our mother. We tried for years to get our other siblings to see the damage that has been done by her but they dont want to and continue to use her as much as she uses them. Not only that, I refuse to have a relationship with someone who disparages my child and makes fun of their skin condition.
Anyways thats my vent for the day.