Post # 1
I have always been really comfortable in my body. My weight has fluctuated over the years from as low as 125 lbs to 155 lbs(when I worked out every day) but I’ve always looked fit in my 5ft 4 frame. I have also always been of the philosophy that it’s not about the # on the scale so much as how I look in the mirror.
Over the summer, I started to get nervous about my weight/body fat%. I had bought my wedding dress when I was about 140lbs & it fit perfectly. By July I was up to 145-148 & I worried that if I was too heavy the corset wouldn’t fit. I kept working out like normal but I started weighing myself before & after each work out (to account for water loss) & cut out the little bit of sugar that I’d eat. Ultimately I walked down the aisle at 138lbs.
The wedding is over now but I still have the nagging thought. What’s more frustrating is that I have lost even more weight but I really don’t like the way my body looks. I feel flabby & I now worry that I’ve lost a substantial amount of muscle mass after this whole thing. But I feel like if I put the muscle weight back on, I’d think it’s fat & stress even more.
I don’t know why I feel like this & what I can do to change my frame of mind. Help…
Post # 3
Dooood! You totatlly read my diary! JK who has a diary these days? lol I use to weigh 213 lbs a year and a half ago and I still feel that way. I’m fluctuating between 135 and 138 now and I still feel like a hippo. I’ve been strength training religiously and I know muscle weighs more than fat, but damn that number on the scale always throws me off. I’m 5′ and alot of people tell me how tiny I am, I just don’t see it!
I will see it once I get to 115-120 and after I LEARN SELF ACCEPTANCE & SELF LOVE! hehe : )
Post # 4
@Porkchop: Honestly… We’re both being ridiculous… You’re an inspiration, losing all that weight on your tiny frame!
Post # 5
I get this too. I have always been thin and fit looking so I only got on a scale at the doctors. I believed that the number didn’t matter at all, what mattered was how you looked and felt….and then early last year I saw a number I did not like. I was 10-15 lbs heavier than I thought I was, which I know doesn’t sound like much, but it was out of my happy zone. And suddenly I was working out like crazy, watching what I ate and weighing myself every other to every day. Now that I am back at my happy weight I thought it would make me not be as intense about it but it’s almost like I made being obessive a habit.
Post # 6
Throw away your scale and buy a measuring tape. Weight is unreliable since (as you mentioned) muscle is heavier than fat, so you can weigh more but technically look smaller.
Post # 7
I agree- ditch the scale! Right now- tell me something you like about your body:___________.
Start practicing self-love 🙂
Oh- and Mrs Rugbee- unless you’re a wing or scrumhalf, don’t get too small or you’ll be run over on the pitch!
Post # 8
I’m the same way. When I was 19 I was 80lbs at 5’3. As the years went by I slowly put on weight until, at my highest I was 155lbs. I was NOT happy. Then I got sick and now I’m back down to around 115. If I gain one lb, ONE LB I flip out and start crying. Especially around my period when I retain a lot of water & tend to swell up. It’s probably because after losing so much weight, I’m nervous I’m gaining it back again. I struggled with anorexia nervosa a long time ago and I feel like the mental disease itself never went away. I started eating normally again, but I’m mentally the same as I always was; miserable with my outer appearance. I knew 80lbs was never really HEALTHY for someone with my particular frame, but I find myself wishing I could get back down under 100 again. Ugh.
Don’t think because I, personally, obsess over my weight that I think that anyone weighing more than me doesn’t look good or isn’t beautiful, because I do. My obsession and feelings toward weight are only directed towards myself. I just don’t carry weight well at ALL. Some people carry it beautifully, but not this chick.
Just don’t get as crazy as me and let it take over your life, ok, OP? lol.
Post # 9
@MrsRugbee: hehe thanks for the “slap in the face” moment, it’s funny how we can call ourselves out when we know how ridiculous we are being! Thanks Hun! I’m sure you look and are amazing!
Post # 10
@DaneLady: You’re right. The most fun I had playing rugby was at my heaviest: An extra 20lbs behind a charge goes a long way.
1 thing I love about my body: my back. It’s strong & muscular but still feminine. I was gonna say my butt but it’s shrinking (to Mr Rugbee’s disapointment)…
Thank you Miss Dane: Kicked my brain back into rugby mode.