(Closed) Obsessing about Appearance

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 2
434 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

Take a deep breath and remember that he fell in love with who you are and loves you as-is. He’ll be super happy to see you even if you haven’t lost much weight since he deployed. You’re not crazy at all, but you don’t need to kill yourself stressing about it. Getting to spend time together will be perfect enough for him, I’m sure.

Post # 3
1606 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

You need to stop. I saw some of your other posts about starving yourself to lose weight (while you’re a size 0-2?). 

A girl who could lose 10 pounds but is comfortable in her skin is way more attractive than a skinny girl who is obsessed with her weight. 

Post # 5
3010 posts
Sugar bee

I think that you do have a problem and that cls9q is right.  You are at the thin end of being thin and quite soon if you lose weight you will disappear altogether.

This is what you put on another thread:

I feel so fat now! Im 5’2, about 128 and wear a size 0-2. Im very muscular, but I wish I only weighted 110-115. It took basically starving myself to hit 128. I work out daily, lift tons of weight and run. Im so jealous of you ladies at 5’3-5’5 only weighing 110 lbs!!!<br /><br />

I thought I would just put it here so that any other ladies replying to you gets an idea of context.

Your husband loves you as you are.  He doesn’t want a perfect human being, he wants you.  He doesn’t want a woman of a particular shape or size, he wants you. 

Talk to your husband about how you feel and then get yourself some professional help.  After your first marriage it is understandable that your confidence has taken a massive knock.  But you can’t allow your first marriage, and its awfulness, to affect your new marriage. 

The fact that your head says one thing and your heart says another means that you do need help.  The fact that you’ve recognised it is a very positive thing.  Please act upon it.


  • This reply was modified 7 years, 2 months ago by .
Post # 6
4539 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2013


Supersleuth:  he’s her boyfriend, not her husband.

OP, I think you just need to relax. If your BF had a problem with your weight I’m sure he would have said something by now. And you know what, if he has a problem with, fuck him. I know how much past relationships can affect new ones, but you just need to realize your ex husband was an asshole and your new BF is with you because he wants to be. He obviously likes the way you look if he’s still with you. Try to not let your insecurities take over and ruin a perfectly good relationship.

Post # 7
1037 posts
Bumble bee

View original reply
acoastieslove:  My first husband made a million excuses as to why he didn’t want to have sex but it all sounded like: “I’m not attracted to you” in my head. It’s taken me a long time to realize it had nothind to do with my weight but I can relate to how you feel. The man I’m with now will encourage me in my goals (I just gained 10-15lbs on purpose because I was underweight and unhealthy.

I wouldn’t focus on the number, I would focus on how you feel. Your SO isn’t going to see you and makeyou step on a scale, bring only things you feel fabulous and confident in to see him in Hawaii.

Then I’d say maybe talk to someone about your body image/ weight issues. It really helped me…

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