- 5 years ago
Of recent I have noticed quite a few posts from those of us who struggle with waiting. Bad days, vents and just simple frustration. I just wanted to post a testimonial to hopefully encourage anyone who is feeling pretty low.
you may know a little about my relationship. I have been with my man for 6y3m. over 2y ago I moved in with him with the expectation we’d be married within 2y. I became slightly obsessed with this expectation (which I had voiced to my man and he’d agreed) unfortunately to the point where resentment brewed and started to seriously damage our previously difficulty-free relationship. I could see what was happening… my frequent meltdowns, my grumpy moods and then depression and self-doubt. altogether the worst foundations for an engagement. and my man was completely aware of this… and thus no engagement on the beach in dubai despite him later admitting that he almost did (ah but the cruelness of that comment!) but read on because who really wants to get engaged under those circumstances…. not me anyway
it came to a head and I wrote a letter and moved out. I’m not saying at all this is the best way to deal with things but because the source of my pain was the expectation that we would get married when I moved in, moving out when that expectation wasn’t met seemed logical.
Since then I have regained my self-confidence, I have more me time to spend on me. I am totally motivated to get fit, eat well, grow my hair… to the point where I’m becoming obsessed with being happy. I’ve become a lot more independent and now I go on pleasant romantic dates with my man. I still want him to ask me desperately but I know that now the foundations are being made for a good and healthy relationship and when he does ask me it’ll be a much more suitable time than when we were on the beach in dubai (it was far too hot anyway !!)
so I just would like to encourage any struggling waiting bees to regain a bit of who you are. waiting can be extremely wearing on our sense of value and general happiness. your man loves you but you need to love you too. don’t think that feeling low and resentful is what you have to go through in the waiting process… be confident that you are worth an engagement and make a decision that you are going to focus on building your feeling of worth. I promise you your man will notice and that in itself will keep you going.