(Closed) OCD, body issues, and this wedding…

posted 7 years ago in Wellness
Post # 3
Member
2195 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

Hey. I totally understand. I have struggled with disordered eating and body issues my whole life. Having an entire day devoted to people looking at me is not exactly my idea of a perfect day. I love my dress, but I’m constantly concerned that it’s not perfect. Same with the rest of the wedding.

However, I do know that I am marrying the man of my dreams and my family is extremely supportive. I know that my wedding day is just the beginning of our life together, so anything that happens that day will just disolve into memories.

I guess what I’m trying to say is, I am sure you look amazing in your dresses and try to relax a little. Do you have a therapist or counselor? This seems like a perfect topic to bring up with him or her. Good luck!

Post # 4
Member
5096 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

@pinkandsparkly: Agreed!

OP, the thing I worry about with getting botox is that if you have a disordered vision of your body, you’ll just move on to obsessing about some other tiny “flaw.”  I doubt it’s even visible in pictures, but if it is, the photog can airbrush it out.

And in general, I think most women look better at 30 than they did at 20, believe it or not.  They have more confidence and grace.

Post # 6
Member
5096 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

Hugs. I’m sorry your family is making you feel bad about it. But you have absolutely nothing to be ashamed of.  You found a wonderful man, and you are marrying him – if they can’t get excited about that, I feel sorry for them.

Re: finances, is there a way you could cut back on some wedding expenses to get a few therapy visits in?  It might be woth it if it helps you feel more relaxed/confident.

Post # 8
Member
351 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Hi!  Just wanted to let you know that someone else here can relate.  My wedding was last year, but I went through many of your same problems.  I have trichotillomania (I pull my eyebrow hairs out.)  Stress makes it difficult for me to control it, and the money and body image issues surrounding a wedding definitely added to stress.  Also, I was a second time bride.  We didn’t have a huge wedding, but it was still important to me!  But everytime my mom would talk to someone about my wedding, she felt it necessary to say that this was my second wedding as if somehow that and the fact that I was 38 made it less important.  But this was the wedding that mattered to me because I know this is the marriage that will count.  In order not to stress so much, I just tried to focus on outlets in my life that I knew would take my mind off of the worrisome thoughts.  I love to run and work out, and that was a great way to blow some steam off (and keep my fingers away from my eyebrows).  I also agree that talking to your therapist is a good idea. 

As for wrinkles, it’s hard getting older, and though you may have more wrinkles in these wedding pictures than you did in the ones 10 years ago, think about all the wisdom and growth that have accompanied those 10 years of wrinkles.  I’ll take my wrinkles any day over the naivete of the girl who married my ex-husband.

Post # 9
Member
392 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Hey, I’m also an OCD sufferer and have had it for years (it was very bad when I was 15; I received CBT which helped alot). My OCD seems to flare up around times of stress. I know exactly how you feel; I’m enjoying planning the wedding but I can’t stop obsessing over my dress (I’ve had my dress a year already and am getting married next year so I’m petrified that something will happen to it). My mum keeps the dress at her house (I would worry about it way to much at mine) but I still want to keep checking it! I think so much pressure is put on the bride and groom to look perfect that it takes what should be a wonderful time building up to the wedding and turns it into a giant panic.  If you feel that you’re struggling then I think you should definitely talk to someone about it. There might be something like a hormone problem increasing OCD  symptoms. Try and have some relax time, take some time out and do something you enjoy! I find something that takes alot of concentration like drawing or reading is great, you can’t worry when your mind is occupied with something else πŸ™‚

Strange question but have you gone on any new medication recently? I am on a new contraceptive pill and have become pretty terrible in the last month. I thought it was just me struggling however I spoke to the doctor about it and he said it was likely that the pill was making me worse (although it should get better with time).

As for the lack of enthusiam thing, have you spoken to your family about it? Maybe you could let them know that you’re feeling a little deflated that there not excited. My mum doesn’t really believe in a ‘big’ wedding (my mum had a VERY small wedding) and spending thousands on one day so she seemed more worried than excited. I spoke to her about it and how I felt a little sad and now she’s really enjoying talking about decorations, veils etc πŸ™‚

Post # 11
Member
118 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Maybe this is not the reaction you’re looking for, but I just wanted to let you know that out of curiosity after reading this post I went to watch what you look like in your dresses; you look hot! Great body, great dresses, hot! You’re going to knock everybody’s socks of with your appearance, for sure.

Post # 13
Member
13 posts
Newbee

I struggle with it all the time.

 

Follow my blog:

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