(Closed) October 2013 is probably the hardest month of my life…

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
9681 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

@smealeys:  I’m sorry for all you’re going through. My dad is very sick too and I know the exhaustion you feel because I feel it too. We did cancel our Destination Wedding in Jamaica because my dad wouldn’t have been able to travel. My parents said not to do that (and of course they would), but we did anyway.

We also cancelled a trip we were planning in the summer (that we already paid for and lost a fortune on) because I never would have forgiven myself if I left and something happened to my dad. My advice: you will have the rest of your life for trips, and you never know how long you have with your dad. Trips can be rescheduled but you will never get that time back.

It is not easy to see your parents age and to see the strong man you had your first relationship with become weaker. It breaks my heart every single day because I always thought he’d be a constant in my life and I never let myself imagine otherwise. The reality hits you in the face like a punch and it SUCKS. Enjoy the good you can find in your life (which it sounds like you’re doing) and value every moment you have with him.  

Post # 5
2857 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@smealeys:  ((Hugs)) You are going through so many different situations that on their own carry so much emotion. Having it all happen at once is one hell of a roller coaster ride for your heart. Don’t worry so much about sorting your head out right this instant. Your reactions are completely normal, and honestly I’m so impressed that you’ve been able to keep it together and going through all of it. Let your emotions work their way out, and in a little bit more time, things will settle down naturally on their own.

Post # 6
2539 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

I’m sorry to hear about your dad but I’m really happy that he’s getting better. Congrats on your new job, and your upcoming wedding! Sometimes it’s hard to get yourself out of a rut like this but just try to be present. Even if you aren’t overwhelmed with joy on the days leading up to your wedding, be present and soak it in. Let yourself be a little bit happy. Enjoying yourself and your wedding won’t make your dad any better or worse so let yourself have this happy time. Best wishes to you.

Post # 7
5 posts


That is a LOT for anyone to go through.  If you feel overwhelmed, that is a NATURAL RESPONSE.

I can’t say I know what you’re going through, all I know is on a smaller scale, when my friend got married, they were going through what they called a lot of stress, nothing to the level you’re going through, and they wanted to postpone the wedding.  EVERYONE talked them into sticking with the wedding date and it worked out for the best.

Good to hear your dad is improving, and your deep care and love you demonstrate for him is tribute to what a wonderful wife you will be, and how blessed your soon to be husband is.

Best wishes!

Post # 9
508 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

View original reply
@smealeys:  oh i really feel for you.  Can you ask your friends/future in laws for some wedding help?

We just found out my Dad has cancer and the prognosis isn’t good, such a shock and really distressing that he’s deteriorating quickly.  I am already married, but have a baby on the way, it is hard to seperate the emotions.  One one hand you have a beautiful wedding to look forward to, and on the other hand your Dad is unwell, but focus on the positive that he is improving.

Wishing you all the best for your wedding and your dad’s recovery

Post # 10
1163 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

@smealeys:  I am sorry you’re going through such a difficult time. I’m sending positive thoughts and support your way!

Post # 11
1366 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Oh my goodness!  I looked you up to see if you’d been married yet and found this thread.

Sending you hugs.  My dad had a stroke a few years ago, so I can kind of relate (although I wasn’t planning a wedding at the time.)

I’m not sure if you are here yet but I hope you are having an amazing time.  Know that your parents do genuinely want this for you.  Tell your photographer what happened and ask if s(he) can send you some teaser pictures so that you can share with your parents right away.  It really will lift their spirits.

Post # 12
95 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@smealeys:  Sending love and hugs. I experienced 2 tragedies within 2 weeks of my wedding (a Bridesmaid or Best Man lost her long-time boyfriend in a car crash and my grandfather died the day before the wedding). It is so hard to feel happy when those around you are so sad.

I will say, the day of the wedding was extra emotional, but also, everyone just wanted a happy event to take their minds off the sadness, if even for a little while.

In terms of planning, put the non-essential things in the “can it” pile and really figure out what NEEDS to be done. No one will notice, or blame you, if programs aren’t made or table numbers aren’t quite a finished product. They will be more focused on you and your energy.

I wish your dad a speedy recovery, he sounds like he’s doing his best to stay positive.

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