(Closed) October brides… let's all just vent for a minute.

posted 6 years ago in October 2012
Post # 3
Member
781 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

NONE of FIs family on his mother’s side is coming (they live less than an hour away), and his own mother isn’t coming either. She lives in AR, we live in SC, and expects him to shell out 100s of dollars to get her there. UM HELL NO! She’s known about the wedding for almost a year, so she’s had time to save a little bit every week.

We were expecting/assuming at least 75 people to attend, and right now we’re barely over 60.

People didn’t bother sending their RSVPs back (due LAST WEEK) and I had to contact everybody. How hard was it to check yes or no, and put it in the freaking mail!!!! 

Post # 4
Member
213 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Thank god a vent thread. Just over a month till my wedding and nothings paid for. My father promised us $6k toward our wedding and tried to get the money in a way that caused a big fight between my parents (theyre divorcing). So now Im stuck trying to figure out where the heck we’re coming up with $6k to pay for this wedding. On top of that I have planned almost this entire wedding by myself thankfully I have a great hubby whos been a big help event tho he doesn’t want to. I had picked what I thought was a great bridal party and the only ones helping are my two bridesmaids from the opposite coasts. My Maid/Matron of Honor has shot down every idea I’ve come up with even to the point of telling my some of my ideas are stupid and just about cussing me because my hubby and I picked a location with a no alcohol rule. We’re not huge drinkers and had planned on a keg party at our house afterwards. She hasn’t even thought about a bridal shower or a bachelorette party so I get none of it. It sounds bitchy but Im always the one throwing parties and planning them for others I was kinda looking forward to everyone being there for me for once. I went to the bridal shop by myself for a sample sale because my Maid/Matron of Honor made an appointment with me to go dress shopping and then come to the day before she says its her daughters birthday party day and she cant go. I got talked into this big white puffy simple gown that wasn’t me. It wears me not me wearing it not to mention I’m extremely pale and the white made me look like casper. I found my dream dress on etsy for $200 (the first one cost me $1400) and it is gorgeous. Now Im stuck with this dress and cant even get any bites on it. I called to see if the shop would take it back because it was a new sample that they still carry and I hadn’t altered it at all. I searched for hours on their site before calling to make sure it didn;t say no returns. The woman caught an attitude when I called told me I should have made sure I liked the dress before I bought it and couldn’t return it hung up the phone on me. I looked at their site the next day and under policies in big capitalized letters it reads Please choose your purchases carefully.  There are NO RETURNS, NO EXCHANGES OR REFUNDS, ALL SALES ARE FINAL. … Wow that felt good to vent thanks ladies!

Post # 5
Member
2239 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Our RSVP date is in two days.  We didn’t get mail today so we better get a lot of them in the mail tomorrow and Friday or I’m going to have to call quite a few people.  Annoyed.  Some of these people I KNOW are coming but it’s kinda like I paid for the rsvp/stamp…..like all people have to do is check it =/

Lame.  We didn’t get any today so I’m kinda irritated.  All of my FI’s family has RSVPed yes.  Waiting on my family and I can’t really wait much longer.  Final count goes in like the 24th at the latest.  I’m not waiting until then to give them the count.  I kinda have a lot of stuff to do.  Dress fitting is coming up on the 21st.  I just would rather not forget to send in something, yaknow?  I’d feel better knowing it’s going to cost x amount extra and pay it and just be done.  Also,  My mom’s new husband isn’t sure if he’s going and she’s like well count him….just in case.

Why?  If he’s not coming why should I pay for a meal, ceremony chair, and alcohol JUST IN CASE?  I get he’s my step father but things aren’t exactly relaxed with him yet.  Parents are divorced now because he got in the picture with my mom.  Lots of drama.  Not fun.  I don’t wanna pay for people that MAY show up.  I don’t want a bunch of empty chairs at my wedding ceremony.  I DO NOT WANT IT.  And it’s inconsiderate.  I’ve been asked by people if they can bring a date if they meet someone.  No……final count goes in soon don’t bring anyone we can’t hold anymore people.  Who the heck wants to bring a first date to a wedding anyways?  Sheesh…..and why should I have to pay for their first date?  No.  No.  No.  *screams into a pillow*

Also, people are either coming or NOT coming at this point.  So, don’t maybe me…….this ain’t no backyard bbq where I can add another burger and you can sit your ass in the grass y’all.  It’s my wedding and THAT’S NOT HOW IT WORKS!!!!!

*grumble*

Post # 7
Member
9483 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2012

I’m just feeling super overwhelmed and want to cry at the drop of a pin. 

Post # 8
Member
7339 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@Rouquine:  this!

I’m tired of asking Fiance to call so and so or do something because he won’t do it. I literally have to ask him a gazillion different times!

I’m tired of people asking me, “are you excited yet?”. For the millionth time, YES I am excited!!!

I’m tired of being ignored by his brother, he needs a freaking wake up call and I’d be so happy to give it to him.

Ahhh I feel a bit better!

Post # 9
Member
1622 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

1. Rsvp’s: as we ALL have experienced, what is WRONG WITH PEOPLE?!? These are grown-ass adults that can’t send a stamped postcard back in a timely fashion. The height of annoying.

2. The out-of-town guests want to spend a touristy day with us the day after the wedding seeing the sights.  I’m having a hard time saying no since it’s FI’s family and he only sees them once every few years.  I’m reconciling myself to this, but I really wanted to spend that day sleeping in, having a nice brunch and going for a couples’ massage and hot tub. Boo hiss.

3. Here’s a different kind of a vent: our wedding is small (50ish people) and low-key (ceremony, cocktails, dinner/speeches).  I’m so NOT stressed that it’s starting to freak me out….like, I must be missing something?!?! Do I need to go to the Kn0t and see the list of things I need to do??  I just feel like I’m not terribly organized, but haven’t needed to be, and now maybe I’ve missed a huge list of “must-do” stuff????

Post # 10
Member
2488 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Urm… my Fi won’t sign our damn photo contract and I want to get the deposit sent !

I can’t figure out my grand entrance…

My mom broke up with her boyfriend who was hosting my Shower so now I have to make oopsie inivtes and deliver them (luckly they can all be hand delivered!)

We haven’t even looked into our honeymoon – althoguht we have till march to redeem it ( we won it from FIs work)

I still have to mail out reception only invites and I have been making them myself and the printer is on the fritz so its complicating things! lol

 

man I’m so glad these are my simple wos ! Two weeks ago the world was ending!

Post # 11
Member
2488 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

My Fiance won’t do anything either! He can’t even pick a song to dance with his mother too! I think I’m going to pick a song he hates and make him dance with her!  UGH not really but why can’t they help just a small bit!

Post # 12
Member
591 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I asked fiance to research photography spots and he said he doesn’t have time and can’t I do it?  And he reminded me that he took the reins on the honeymoon planning.  Yay?  I have planned/done all the work for the entire wedding.

My mother is annoying me with her “suggestions”.  And she made a seating chart, which, hello, I can handle it, Mom.

I cannot find jewelry I like for my girls anywhere.  Everything I like is $100+ and I really want to keep it at $150 total (I have 2 BMs).

I keep looking at pictures of my gown and wish I had picked something different.  My first fitting is in 10 days so I really hope that I fall in love with it again.

I still need a veil and jewelry for myself.

I have no idea what to get my fiance for his “day of” gift and he keeps hinting that his gift for me is going to “blow my mind”.  

Post # 13
Member
544 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

1. My FH’s side of the family apparently doesn’t know how to RSVP — and these are the normal people, not his wacked out immediate family who did RSVP timely. Granted, the RSVPs aren’t due back till September 25th. 

On top of that — none of my bridal party has RSVP’d b/c they don’t understand why they have to, and oh, yeah, it’s not September 25th yet.  Ok – you do have to RSVP b/c I need to know who you are bringing (kids, no kids, etc), and yes, I know it’s not Sept 25th yet, but you’re in the wedding, you should have some sort of plan for it by now, and the envelope has a freaking stamp on it, so please just place it in the mail!

2. FH hasn’t heard from his Groomsman (cousin) in 2 months, and is not worried about it.  We need to get fitted for tuxes in the next three weeks, and days go by and he has zero urgency to contact said groomsman.

3. According to twitter, my wedding planner (who I met early on, but haven’t seen in person for months) will be 8 months pregnant the day of my wedding, yet she has not yet told me she is pregnant and will be unable to help set-up, carry, move things, etc, which is one of the main reasons I hired her.  This doesn’t annoy me too much, other than I don’t understand why she wouldn’t just tell me and I have to twitter stalk to find these things out.

4. AC Moore customer service saved me from my final vent — I’ve been buying floating candles a handful at a time with coupons and for the last two months they’ve been out of stock.  Thankfully customer service contacted the local store to order some for me, and while I will have to pay full price, at least all my candles will match. 

All in all — I really can’t complain about much…I just wish people would send in RSVPs b/c i’m impatient!

EDIT— reading through these reminded me of one more small vent that may become a bigger vent — seating requests.  If I have one more person tell me they don’t want to sit next to their brother, sister, cousin, nephew, etc.  I will freak out.  I have my seating chart done based on expected RSVPs, if you don’t like where I seat you, trade with someone.

Post # 14
Member
595 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

We still haven’t actually figured out if FI’s mom is coming to our wedding or not.  She says that she bought a ticket to FL but hasn’t bought her return flight.  She said that she was looking into it today and was finding that one way tickets were more than $200.  So while sitting with her at lunch, I pulled up the JetBlue website and low & behold there are tickets for $110!!!  Fiance thinks that she is lying about everything.

Fiance hasn’t picked out his suit yet.  He wants to buy one which is fine with me but he wants a light colored suit.  I keep telling him that it is going to be harder and harder to find one with the fall colors coming out, but he doesn’t seem to believe me.  I think that when we finally go shopping that I am just going to cry because I know that we won’t find anything and we are going to have to pay crap loads of $ to buy it online or something.

Post # 15
Member
2363 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

RSVPs….need I say more.

After much angst over whether or not to change my name, I decided to become Ms. Smith Jones….only to find out that my state won’t allow it.  The next best thing is to become Ms. Smith-Jones.  This hyphen is going to kill me.

I have gained 5-8 pounds since my first fitting….and my second fitting is tomorrow.

Post # 16
Member
9483 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2012

I was on my phone earlier so I didn’t really type up things bothering me.

  • Our backyard wedding is at Future In-Laws.  We had our RSVPs sent there.  FMIL thinks because mail is delivered to her house that it means she can open it regardless.  I have no idea who RSVPed.  I am having Fiance stop by on Friday or over weekend to pick up what’s there since they were due today.  I’ll have her call me with any late ones coming in.

 

  • I made my hair appointment weeks ago with Maid/Matron of Honor.  My mom decided to tell me Sunday that she wants a hair appointment too.  She knew I was going to be making one.  Seriously?  Then she proceeds to tell me she doesn’t know how she’s getting to the house early or getting home because she’ll be drinking.  I told her someone has to be Dirty Delete.  She goes “everyone we know drinks..”  Well, how is this my problem?  You’re all adults.  Figure it the hell out.  I’m sure SOMEONE can manage not to drink the entire night away to drive home safely.

 

  • A friend/coworker is baking our cake.  Our schedules conflict.  All of ours.  FI has a stupid part time job that doesn’t give him his schedule until literally the new week begins.  I work overnights.  Friend works days.  I finally messaged her after weeks of trying to get together to hopefully see her next weekend.  Let’s cross fingers that it works out.  

 

  • I still have to make a DJ playlist.  Well, technically finish.  I almost don’t give a shit about the music.  Our DJ is a family friend whose wife is pregnant and due around our wedding.  She told us last week she needs it because she has to put it together. Why wait until last minute to tell us?  She still didn’t give us the paper to fill it out either so I’m just jotting down songs for now.  

  • The caterer is supposed to come to the house and look at the backyard, garage, etc to get an idea of where to set everything up.  She STILL hasn’t done so.  FMIL is in charge of that naturally so I guess she’s taking her sweet time calling to see when this lady is coming out.

 

  • I’m feeling really down that I can only afford to have a photographer for about 3-4 hours.  It means I won’t have any professional pictures of our reception and little tidbits from it.  I guess I’ll get over it, but photography is super to me in general.

That’s about it, I think and hope.  I know everything will come together.  It’s that last minute/crunch time stress.

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