(Closed) October engagement is out, will probably be waiting until (late) December

posted 6 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
556 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

You can look at wedding stuff all you want, but sometimes when people do that, it gives men this idea of “expectation” — like if you’re looking at wedding stuff that means you want things to happen right away, in a certain fashion, etc. 

If your SO is going to propose to you before 2013, he is ready to be engaged, certainly, and as for not wanting to immediately get married, it can do with finances and other things like that which some men feel the need to get squared away before they feel like they can provide for their wives. My SO and I have had this discussion, and while we’ve decided when to get married, he has told me that he feels bad about not feeling “rich enough” to provide me with all of the things I deserve — and he even has a stable career! In many marriages the man is the primary breadwinner, and with that responsibility, as antiquated as it may be, comes worries about whether or not they have enough in their minds to successfully provide for your lives. 

Perhaps if you are feeling put off by his hesitance to get married, I would ask him if he wants to ever get married…period, and go from there.

Post # 4
Member
646 posts
Busy bee

@stargazer102706:  Do you guys want kids? Sorry to be nebby, but if so, he does realize that you might need a much shorter engagement, right?

Post # 5
Member
3420 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

Edit. that wasn’t fair.

Anway. I am in your group too. My initial internal deadline was The End of the World (12/21/12) and then I moved it to V-day to account for the oh-so-wonderful Income Tax check. But have now moved my internal deadline to the Spring Equinox of 2013…because one of my friend in my New-Agey circle convinced me. that she had a feeling… and that’s fine…it still gives me 18 months from the date up top.

I FEEL YOU. AT least he has 800 in the ring fund…my SO has -200 in the fund

Post # 6
Member
436 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

Ugh- I’m sorry.  how old is he?

Post # 10
Member
299 posts
Helper bee

@stargazer102706:  That’s not fair to you after 6 years. I’m sorry you’re going through this it sucks. At this point you should be able to get excited about a future wedding without any worries.

Post # 12
Member
3969 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

Whenever SO thinks I’m getting ahead of myself just for LOOKING, I remind him that just because he looks up car things and like looking at pictures of Ferraris and the like doesn’t mean 1) he’s going to buy one and 2) that it’s ASAP!

Post # 13
Member
647 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

late december is not that bad. it’s only 3 months away!

and i guess it’s for you to decide when to start planning, especially choosing venues that must be booked in long advance. he seems a bit weird. =

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