(Closed) odd night before wedding arrangements stressing me out

posted 4 years ago in Emotional
Post # 2
2157 posts
Buzzing bee

aquastar:  Your husband should stay with you, not with the rest of the groomsmen. As long as he’s there when needed, it shouldn’t make anyone upset. 

Post # 3
7924 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

Yikes that wouldn’t fly with me. What does your DH say? I don’t see why it’s necessary for them to stay at a completely different hotel the night before. He could certainly attend any festivities necessary and then go to your shared hotel room.

Post # 4
671 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

Why can’t you stay in the same hotel as him? Isn’t there a rehearsal the night before?

Post # 5
2273 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

aquastar:  Yeah, that’s weird. Why can’t he just stay with you…or you with him? As a groomsman, he is only expected to be there the day of!

Post # 6
451 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

That’s just inconsiderate for sure. I would have my husband just stay with me and then be where he needs to be at the other when the time comes. No way would that fly with me. 

Post # 7
1237 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

Gross. I feel like the bride can invite you and your husband to come to the wedding, but not dictate that you have to pay for two hotel rooms! Sometimes I wonder what is wrong with people! If I were you I would just make arrangements to stay together with my husband in either hotel, and have my husband give the bride or groom a heads-up in case they were expecting 4 guys to split the cost of a double room or something… which I have heard that people do.

Post # 8
1254 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

Is she paying for the room for the groomsmen? I wouldn’t be happy if you had to chip in for that and pay for your own room. Can you just book your room in the same hotel as them though? Gotta say I wouldn’t be too fussed about spending a night by myself in a hotel though without FI… I’d just kick back with some room service and crappy tv that he doesn’t like to watch!

Post # 9
355 posts
Helper bee

aquastar:  this bride sounds like me in this situation and i’ll let you know my thought process.

As much as we would like to pay for every bridal party’s room and their significant others, it costs too much money and we’re not obligated to do so. We wanted the bridal party to stay in one room because it’s a burden for them to come a day before and having to pay for one more night hotel stay. We gave people +1, but their do not have to bring them if they don’t want to. I’m assuming it’s similar in your situation. If you don’t know anyone, you don’t have to go. My fiance went to weddings where he stood in and I don’t know anyone. I either don’t go or try to make the best of it.

However, demanding the bride to pay for the significant others hotel is a bit extreme. The costs can add up and it’s not fair to the other guest. At the end of the day, the bride is trying help the bridal party spend less money.

Most of the significant others in our party are coming the next day, but we are paying everyone to stay in two separate rooms the day before. 

Post # 10
2524 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2015

I’d go to the spa, get a massage and a pedicure, I’d order room service and enjoy a big comfortable bed to myself!  🙂  I’d give myself some me-time while he was off with his friends. 

But we are not a joined-at-the-hip couple, we both relish time on our own to do our own things. 

Post # 12
1048 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

Just because the bride has decided where you guys should sleep, that doesn’t mean you have to pay that any attention. The only thing that matters here is what your husband wants. Does he want to stay with the groomsmen or with you. If he wants to stay with you then all he has to do is say “Thanks but no thanks” to the bride, and the two of you can book your own hotel wherever you want. You’re both adults and can make your own decisions.

Post # 14
2273 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

aquastar:  Can’t he just sleep in the hotel with you that one night? I’m sure it won’t be a big deal if he isn’t at the hotel with the other guys…

Post # 15
45534 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

aquastar:  You guys are adults. You can book your own accomodation. Your DH can speak up and tell the couple that he will be spending the night with his wife.

Certainly  the guys can go out, but nobody wants their wedding party to be smashed the night before the wedding, so he need not stay out late.

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