(Closed) odd night before wedding arrangements stressing me out

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 46
Member
4766 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

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aquastar:  your hubby wants to do the guys thing, let him and let it go.  This really is a silly battle to fight.  No it’s not necessary by any means but some cultures do have this tradition that the guys and gals stay together at seperate venues.  If your hubby didn’t want to do it it’d be a different issue.

Get a pay-per-view, bring a good book, book a massage, ect and enjoy yourself.  I’d put this on top my “this is a non-issue list”

Post # 48
Member
175 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

I missed a flight once and had to stay by myself in a hotel room, and it was soooo relaxing. I ordered room service, i watched tv, i had a long bath, I read, and I slept diagnoally across the bed. It was almost worth missing my flight.

Post # 49
Member
592 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I honestly don’t see what the issue is here. My maid of honour stayed the night with me in the hotel before the wedding and DH stayed with his best man. I assume it’s normal for most people to stay with their bridal parties at least in the same hotel if not the same room the day before the wedding. Maybe you guys should book rooms at the same hotel the wedding party is staying at so you don’t feel so uncomfortable by yourself.

Post # 50
Member
1678 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

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aquastar:  that would not be ok with me. what a strange arrangement!

Post # 51
Member
2239 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

Honestly, I would LOVE to stay in a nice hotel room by myself for a night! I’d relax, take a bath, order room service and watch movies/TV that Fiance hates. That sounds like a dream to me! Plus, you won’t get woken up by a drunk husband coming in late at night.

It’s definitely weird and I understand your point of view, but if your husband wants to spend the night with his friends, make the best of it! Relax and enjoy a night of pampering and “me” time. 

Post # 52
Member
1117 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

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aquastar:  I understand exactly what you’re saying. I am incredible shy and would be terrified staying on my own in a place I had never been to.Not because I’m scared someone will come into my room, or because I can’t live without DH, but because thats what I’m like. I get bad anxiety. At the same time, my DH wouldn’t understand it. He’s an extrovert and loves to be around people whether he knows them or not.

In the end we would probably compromise. He would stay with his friends until the party was windingdown, and then come back to spend the night with me.

Post # 53
Member
773 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013 - Dalhousie Castle

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aquastar:  It’s only one night and you could take the opportunity to relax. Get a movie, put on facemask, have a bath etc. I could be quite nice and you’ll be feeling all rested and beautiful for the wedding the next day. 

Post # 54
Member
4697 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

There are really two options here.. Your husband finds his backbone and tells them where he’s sleeping (but it seems he doesn’t want to do that..) or you both get over it and enjoy your alone time.

The bride probably did plan something the night before the wedding, its called a rehearsal. Its not her job to make sure grown adults have entertainment, presumably you’ve been alone and can manage just fine.

Room service? Spa? Movie?.. Fluffy robe, comfy bed.. However strange the arrangement of an adult sleepover is, make the best of it instead of whining.

Post # 55
Member
1328 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

I can understand why you’re nervous to stay at a hotel in a strange place alone.  I’ve done it once and wasn’t looking forward to it at first.  I get a little paranoid in strange places so of course every little noise had me going.  One thing you can do is before he leave make sure you have everything you need for the night; get all your snacks bought first, rent a movie, etc.  That way you don’t have to venture out and explore the town alone, you can just stay tight for the evening.

If you’re still feeling very uncomfortable maybe you can explain this to DH, and he can at least come back to your room after his boys night? 

Post # 56
Member
1427 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2010 - parent\'s backyard

yes, it sounds like an odd arrangement. but honestly, it’s somebody else’s wedding. they can’t make everybody happy. besides, given that you could have chosen to book your own room together, it sounds like hanging out with the guys is what your SO wanted to do.  just let them have their guys night together. I’d let it go.

Post # 57
Member
11736 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

It’s not something I would make my bridal party do but I don’t really see the big deal. I’d love a nice comfy hotel bed with room service and wine to myself for the night!

if your DH doesn’t want to stay then he can tell them that. It shouldnt be a big deal.

Post # 58
Member
2346 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

 

aquastar:  That sounds absolutely nuts.  We have a fairly small wedding party but anything involving the bridal party, SO’s are involved as well.  Nor would we consider splitting people up like that!  I’m already having an issue with the wedding night as the owner of our venue just opened a beautiful renovated B&B that me, Fiance and bridal party would like to stay in but there isn’t enough room for ALL our guests, and I’d rather not be separated from people who traveled to our wedding!

Totally inconsiderate!! 

Post # 59
Member
11736 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

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aquastar:  eta if you’re dreading goingthen why not simply not attend?! Simple solution. 

Post # 60
Member
2389 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

This bride is ridiculous.  Is she really young?  This sounds like a college kind of idea.  If one of my husband’s friends came up with this idea he’d be like “dude – I’m not having a slumber party.  I’m staying in the hotel with my wife like a normal adult.  See you in the morning for pictures.”

It has NOTHING to do with not being able to be alone for a night – hell, sometimes I WISH my husband traveled so I could have a night to myself in the bed!  It’s just that it’s silly and childish to determine an adult’s sleeping arrangements.  No adult slumber parties.

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