(Closed) odd night before wedding arrangements stressing me out

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 61
982 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

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aquastar:  Sounds like this could be a growing/maturing opportunity for you! If you’ve never so much as stayed in a hotel room by yourself, you haven’t gotten out much. Take the opportunity to pamper yourself and see a new area. I love staying in new places, alone or with others. It is what you make of it and if you convince yourself you will be scared, lonely, and angry, I expect you will be. 

Post # 62
7368 posts
Busy Beekeeper

Fluffmallow:  It is what you make of it and if you convince yourself you will be scared, lonely, and angry, I expect you will be.

Exactly. I mean really one night alone in hotel doesn’t sound like torture to me. I’ve had to do because of business but lord how much I loved it. But i’m independant like that. I like exploring and discovering things on my own. Seriously, a quiet night in hotel is a little slice of heaven. Its all about how you choose to perceive this. 

Post # 63
319 posts
Helper bee

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aquastar:  Whether some people would enjoy the time alone or don’t think it’s weird, etc…I don’t know if that’s for us to decide. While I am a busy gal who personally loves a night in a hotel with a fluffy bed all to myself, not everyone is the same.  The reason I have a problem with this is that  many people cannot afford very many (if any) vacations. Some couples rarely or never get out of town and get to “let their hair down.” It kind of stinks when a couple cannot make a destination wedding into a mini vacation as well. That doesn’t mean ignoring the wedding events or being late or not socializing — that is why you are there– but they should be able to do both. If they rarely get away or if this is a large expense for them (as 3 nights in a hotel can be), then why not get to enjoy it together as well? DH out with the boys or wedding party (his wife should be included too if its coed) and then back to the room for some pre-wedding RNR with his wife. Then wedding the next day, and so on.  My wedding was destination for some guests (as we are all spread out throughout or state) and I provided accommodations for my wedding party the night before and the night of. The difference is their plus ones were included bc I wanted them to feel like they were on vacation too. Being my best friends, I wanted them to enjoy every minute and their spouses or SO make it all the more fun. While I understand not everyone can afford “everyone together”, I budgeted other areas to make it happen, and if I didnt, I certainly would have understood that as long as they participated in all the wedding festivities, that of course they should spend the other times enjoying the destination however they saw fit. 

A Destination Wedding is not the same as being at home where sleeping arrangements are free. When you ask people to shell out hundreds (sometimes thousands of dollars) to attend your wedding, I think its important to be extra polite/careful in your planning and understand that it may mean they only get one couples trip that year — and if they chose your wedding to be the only one, let them enjoy the trip also, in addition to participating in your wedding functions. 

Post # 65
2836 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

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Barely_Blush:  I think it should be remembered that if the wedding is “in the middle of nowhere”– who wants to travel separately? While the bride and groom aren’t “required” to pay for anyone’s hotel room, why is a bride and room requiring that the bridal party stay not only away from thier SO’s, but also in another hotel?


I guess I am just a different type of person, but that’s definitely something I would take into consideration when planning a wedding.  Why?  Because I wouldn’t like it if I had to travel separately– and if not travel separately, then pay for another hotel room/stay separately from MY husband or SO, so why I should I expect others would be happy doing it?

While it was OUR wedding, we totally took into consideration the feelings of others while planning it.  I honestly believe that if you selfishly plan what’s most convenient for YOU, you really take the joy out if for others.  My wedding shouldn’t mean I am happy and my guests are miserable due to our requests.  


To plan a wedding where travel on any level thay requires an overnight stay is involved, I think it’s important to take into consideration your bridal parties spouses.  Put yourself if other’s shoes.  

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