Post # 1
Ok from a person who hasn’t broken a single bone in her body, I was wondering what I should say to my mother about this:
Over the Christmas break my younger sister who is 11 fell in the kitchen and fractured her ankle. Shes always been extremely babied by both of my parents and I think its now biting them in the butt. Since the little accident my sister won’t get off the couch, has everything brought to her and even needs help going to the bathroom. She acts like her crutches are a device that takes a ton of skill and is just out right milking the situation. The icing on the cake is when I witnessed my mother FEEDING my sister her pain medication out of an infant syringe! I actually had to leave my parents house early the other day because I couldn’t take it anymore. Apparently she has to have a pin placed in her ankle and all I have been hearing about is this surgery coming up. Its a terrible thing to say but my sister is quite overweight and I know her lack of doing anything is just going to make everything harder.
Well today school started back up and lo and behold of course my mom didn’t have her go. When I asked my mother today if she did go to school my mom pretty much yells “Of course not!”. Oh well excuse me! Then my mom seems to try and find reasurrance in me that shes doing the right thing for my sister. I have no idea what to say to her. She is thinking about keeping her out of school for the entire week. Then once the surgery is done I’m sure she will be out for another whole week.
My mom has already called the middle school and has a wheelchair arranged for my sister. (what happend to just using the crutches?) Meanwhile, over this break I have been diagnosed with Preeclampsia for the second time and you wouldn’t even know it. Before anyone makes this out to be a jealousy issue its really not. One of my pet peeves are people who take a tough situation and milk it for what its worth. Total lack of character if you ask me.
What do I do? Do I just tell my mom how it is? Let her know that if my sister is going to get better at all then she needs to grow up a little. I’m tired of hearing it. How do I let this not bother me? Is fracturing and ankle this bad? I hope what I’m feeling is not crazy…
Post # 3
You say nothing. Anything you say, your mother already knows this about your little sister, I’m sure. And I’m sure she knows that she’s enabling your sister, too. That’s your mother’s “baby”, thus the special treatment. It’s your mom who enables her and she’s probably been doing it for years so, no matter what you say, nothing is going to change that.
How do you not let it bother you? You realize that your mom enables your sister and it’s out of your control. You realize can’t change anything about it. You can smack her in the head with it, repeatedly, but it’s not going to change her! Just let it roll off your back. One day, your sister is going to have to grow up and it’s going to be a big shock for her.
Post # 4
I broke my right ankle when I was 10. It hurt worse than any other injury I’ve ever had. I found the crutches difficult to manage -imagine how much harder it is if you’re overweight!. I mostly got around by hopping or piggy back rides (I was tiny). It was summer so at least I didn’t have to worry about school. I use an syringe to give my daughter all her medication because it’s easier and more accurate than using a spoon.
I just think if you say someting to your mother it will bite you in the butt in a few years when she thinks she can then tell you how to raise your child.
Post # 5
@BanditGirl: Ok, I totally get not saying anything. I really don’t (but yet do!) want to mention anything. I just get put on the spot when my mom is pretty much asking me to call her out on what she is doing and then gets mad at me for saying anything. Its a lose lose situation…grr. Thanks for the advice though!!!
Post # 6
I agree with BanditGirl: nothing you say is going to change how she thinks. It’s a terrible shame and disservice to your sister.
Post # 7
Adding that crutches suck. I’m a little thing and have used them many times. Regarless of weight, they’re horrible things. The under arm chafing is horrible and they’re a pain in the butt to use. And, it can be a pain in the rear to get around school on them, especially in the winter and especially if you live in a snowy, icy area like I do.
I’m a former dancer (ballet) and have had many an injury including arthroscopic surgery in high school. Not a fun thing!
Post # 8
I have broken 18 bones in my life. Most while in school.
At one point I had 3 broken toes on 1 foot (could not put any weight on the foot at all) and was living in a 3 story walk up with no elevator with my parents.
I went to school EVERY day on crutches and up and down those stairs every day on crutches.
I am a HUGE klutz and I can use crutches, they aren’t that hard. Yes they hurt under your arms, yes you don’t wan to move around that much. But unless you sister so severely broke her ankle that surgery or very delicate treatment while healing is required (or massive narcotic pain killers) she should be in school.
The ONLY broken bone that kept me bed ridden was when I severely broke both bones in my arm. I was millimeters away from the bone breaking the skin and was in a cast for 4 months.
Otherwise I was at school, crutches or walking boot, sling or cast.
Post # 9
I broke plenty of bones when I was a kid and some not as a kid. I slit the bottom of my foot open in college and couldn’t put any wieght on my foot for 5 weeks and I crutched my way across a large campus, It was not fun but its do-able.
The only thing I can say is that I’ve seen my Fiance go at it with his parents about their enabling his sister’s unmotivated attitude and it doesn’t go anywhere. He gets mad, they get mad and nothing changes. I think it just makes him feel more annoyed and resentful and they just think he is being a jerk about it. I think its sort of the diaper syndrome, no parent wants to take advice from someone that who they wiped their butt once upon a time.
Post # 10
I don’t think you can really change her mind about this. But wow that girl is being spoiled! I broke my right arm (writing hand) in the middle of a school year and wasn’t able to write at all but still had to go to school. Thankfully, the teacher had another student help me write things until I was healed enough to write.
Post # 11
I broke my arm when I was little (5) and had to wear an aircast on my foot while I was in high school…and I still had to go! But I’m not sure what you could say to your mother except maybe say you don’t think it’d be good for her socially/academically to miss school.
Post # 12
I never had any major injuries in school (a few sprained ankles) but nothing too terrible. My best friend (and MOH) on the other hand, broke BOTH of her legs at the SAME time. She ran cross country and during practice one day she just collapsed. It was pretty horrible. She was out of school for a few days but as soon as the doctor gave her the okay to to return, she was back, wheelchair and all.
I still remember the sympathy card I gave her when it happened. There was a crying baby on the front and inside it said “Aww, fall down go boom?”. Still makes me laugh every time I think about it and this was like 8 years ago!