(Closed) Odd RSVP

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
1253 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

I’d assume he’s not coming in your totals to your vendor, because my caterer told me it is easy to add a few extras the week before the wedding (but of course you can’t subtract any once you’ve given the final count).

Post # 5
Member
509 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@ticatica:  I can see how it’s stressful and annoying but if he’s invited (whether he can make it or not) you can’t respectfully revoke his invite to the wedding. If it’s already paid for just leave it. You’ll be out one plate which really isn’t that huge of a deal, IMO.

Post # 6
Member
1307 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

If you paid your final deposit and cannot change it, there is not much you can do. Just assume he will come unless she tells you otherwise. IMO, it is easier to remove a chair/place setting from a table than to add one (especially if you fill it). If he doesn’t come, see if your caterer can pack the extra meals, and take them home (I am so planning on taking a few meals to the hotel with us for a late nght snack 🙂

Post # 7
Member
1253 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

@ticatica:  Call your caterer and ask – it couldn’t hurt!  And yes, I feel your pain, I had one friend’s husband back out after we’d given the final count with a lame excuse that made no sense.  This was after I wasn’t even sure whether to invite him or not because I thought they were separated, but then she RSVP’d for 2, and then he backed out.   GRRRR.

Post # 8
Member
2401 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

That’s a bummer. I’ve unfortunately done this in the past to brides because of my crazy work schedule. I hope he can make it and it isn’t worthless. 

Post # 10
Member
2974 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@ticatica:  i’ve gotten an rsvp like that. one of my friends said she’d go if she didn’t have to work that day (she works at a fast food place & has flexible hours, so it’s not completely impossible for her to get a day off). i said: “i know jobs can be unpredictable and it can be hard to make plans, but if you could let me know asap if you can make it, i’d really appreciate it. the rsvp deadline is aug. 18, so you still have time to try to work things out.”

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