- Miss PumpkinPenguin
- 6 years ago
- Wedding: September 2010
I went off the pill 44 days ago. I am not TTC, but I’ve been on BCP a long time so I want to see how my cycle behaves.
All my enlightened, fertility-savvy friends suggested that I read Taking Charge of Your Fertility (TCOYF). So I read it. I felt smarter. I felt empowered.
But, 44 days later, I actually feel… confused. And kind of let down by the promises of TCOYF.
I’ve charted my BBT dutifully. Temps are all over the place. I had a slight rise in temps for a few days in a row, but it wasn’t accompanied by any fertile-looking CM. In fact, like, hardly any CM at all. And definitely not EWCM.
On various days I have had random sore nipples and painful twinges in the ovary area. But no kind of pattern to it.
Then I randomly bled for 2 days. I thought it was a period with an anovulatory cycle. But it was so short and light. Even on BCP, my periods were always 4-5 days. So I don’t think that was a period. However, the FertilityFriend tracker thought it was a period and started a new chart, so now I’m not even sure if my chart is correct.
So, no pattern to my temps, no real CM to speak of, weird pains, weird bleeding. Mucho confusion. I feel so NOT empowered.
-Being newly off BCP (I get that it takes a while to even out)
-Being chronically stressed (I’m not talking everyday stress like “My boss was mean today” or “my bank balance is low”; I’m talking like longterm, deep-rooted stress related to multiple complex family dynamics that have been going on for years and years and that I always end up in the middle of)
-Being (allegedly) diagnosed with PCOS several years ago and never having normal periods before
Not even sure what I’m asking for here. Just venting… I thought I would feel all goddessy and smart, but instead I feel paranoid and definitely NOT sexy – besides, who can have sex when you’re not sure if you’re knock-uppable or not? (Yes, I just made up that word.)
Thanks for listening to me grumble… and thanks in advance if you can commiserate and/or give advice. -Miss PP