(Closed) Off topic: I am fed up with my BF’s dog! kinda long sorry…

posted 12 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
2365 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

How old is this dog?  Sounds like it’s time for some training classes!

As for spanking the dog, spanking a dog doesn’t work to discipline them as far as I know.  I would suggest getting a dog training for dummies book or something and work together with your BF on this.

As for the shedding, since you’re allergic, he should be responsible for brushing the dog.

And as for the plate thing, that’s disgusting and I would shut that down immediately ;o) I’ve had dogs for most of my life and not only is it bad for dogs to have “people” food, but that’s just gross and ridiculous.

 

Post # 4
Member
1656 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

Clearly you are not a dog person and Fiance is. This is actually an issue because a dog person doesn’t want to hear any of it from a non-dog person – especially if he is the type that never trained his dog because he didn’t want to yell at him/her. Sounds like the dog had the run of the house until you showed up and now he/she is getting less attention and acting out. Dogs are like children in that way. They most definitely do spiteful things when they feel neglected or wronged, although their consciousness of what they are doing is not as it would be in a human. I think you need to have a serious chat with your man about the dog situation. I mean, the nipping at the heels thing is very bad and potentially dangerous (think: small child) and he really needs to train him not to do that anymore. The plate licking – OK, I get it, they were your grandmother’s plates, but you do wash your plates after you eat off them, right? You’re overreacting there. That’s just a dog person thing. They get to lick our plates. It’s NOT a big deal. The nipping at the heels is not OK, though, and your man needs to handle that situation. He also needs to groom his dog. It’s healthier for you, being allergic to the hair, and also it keeps the dog’s coat healthier to have regular grooming. Basically I would say to him look, if you are going to be a dog owner, you have to be a RESPONSIBLE dog owner.

Post # 5
Member
469 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2010

I’m sorry you have to go through this. How old is the dog? It sounds like he definitely needs a doggy training class or some serious training work at home. Punishing him without providing a better option (i.e. he’s biting you, instead of maybe a favorite toy that only comes out when you guys are ready to leave) is clearly not working, and your fiance needs to see this. 

Since he’s not listening to you, I’d find someone neutral or in an authority position (your vet? an article from a dog training magazine? a dog trainer themselves?) to inform him of how by not training the dog and setting some guidelines is bad for everyone involved. 

You definitely DO NOT need to suck it up. Maybe you can buy the dog some doggy class lessons for Christmas, and it can be a fun outing for all of you? Dogs like to please, but the majority of them need to be shown how to do the right thing. 

Post # 6
Member
1009 posts
Bumble bee

I have a dog and I love dogs.  And I have allergies.  He needs to use a FURminator (as seen on TV product that works and is now sold at PetsMart, etc).  The FURminator will get lots of the hair off the dog (this is done outside).  BF also needs to keep the floors clean and keep the dog out of the bed.

Any vet will tell you that dogs should not eat table scraps.  It is not healthy at all. 

The dog needs obedience classes and you and your BF need to go too.  That way the dog will see you both as an authority figures.  

Post # 7
Member
1581 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

Well first let me say i have a dog and yes she is spoiled!  She sleeps in the bed, has her toys, gets her scraps every now and then.

The bed- Our dog jumps in the bed anytime one of us gets out of the bed.  She loves to cuddle up.  So sometimes it is my side other’s his side.  We don’t mind when it is those days we are sleeping in late but we dont’ allow this all night.  I got a dog house and put it in the corner of the room with a nice cushy pillow.  She now sleeps in it until it is about an hour before she knows the alarm clock will go off. 

The biting at ankles- My dog is a herder by breed.  So when you walk through the rooms she will nip at you.  She mostly does this when she has been home alone all day and hasn’t burnt up a lot of energy.  So start taking the dog for a jog when you get home!  This will help you get into bride body shape too!

The eating out of the bowl- I agree this is gross.  Talk to your BF and tell him you don’t mind the dog getting scraps but can he put them in the dog bowl. The dog won’t care what bowl he eats from.

Also, when we first got the dog we had all these rules and the more she was around the more we became less strict as parents and the more she’s become like family!  Give it sometime and remember: discipline starts with excersise, then food then love.  Read the Dog Whisper’s site and he explains why.

Post # 8
Member
746 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

Eww, luckily our dog is an outdoor dog.  His dog used to do the biting of the ankles and shins too until I beat him to the punch and whipped my foot up so it hit him in the nose when he’d do it (okay that sounds mean, but it wasn’t like I socked him – just surprised him).  Now he doesn’t do it anymore.  He used to jump all over my car when I drove into the garage and he scraped the paint job on my car all up. So for a while I’d start yelling at him and open the door immediately until now he stops.  I agree with the dog training, he and your Fiance probably need it.  I know that people love their fur babies, but I think the human relationships are more important.

Post # 10
Member
1656 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

Hahaha I guess I’m the only gross one that lets the dog lick my plate clean 🙂 In my mind it’s like, well now I don’t have to pre-rinse and I’m conserving water. I’m being green. I’m happy, the dog is happy, and the earth is happy.

Post # 11
Member
1581 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

Oh forgot to mention.  The shedding thing.  Look up the breed of the dog and find out when they blow their coats.  For example, my dog is once a year some are more often.  When I notice more shedding that’s when I do more brushing and bathing.  I found this shampoo at Pet Smart that helps with the shedding.  I use that too when she blows her coat.  It helps out a lot.  I also bought a Roomba and it has a timer and runs around the house helping to collect the dog hair.  I sweep/mop/vacuum to but this helps us out a lot.  The dog also stays outside during the day while we are at work.

Good luck!

Post # 12
Member
2385 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2010 - Calamigos Ranch

The dog sharing your dishes is really unsanitary and can lead to a lot of stomach illnesses. That has to stop, no matter what your BF wants to do about training. And the biting thing is dangerous! I’d say the dog needs to be trained (again? for the first time?)… but frankly, so does your BF!

Post # 13
Member
1581 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

@kitty- nope the Fiance has been known to let the dog lick his bowl after he has icecream.  He does this in secret but they’ve been caught!  Haha

@honeybear- If the dog is a herder then the nipping at the heels is natural.  But I do notice that if we excersie Sadie more she does it less.  Also she tends to nip at heels more when we get all excited or mad.  So if I just keep walking and going about my biz she stops and does something else.  She loves her rubber chicken toys so I will often yell “Get Chicken” to distract her from the biting.

Post # 14
Member
469 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2010

@Kittyachi My parents let their dog do that and it never bothered me, but everyone has different things that bug them, and Dog Tongue on People Plates bothers some people 🙂

Post # 15
Member
180 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

This is just a crappy situation.  But don’t fear, it is never too late to teach a dog. One thing you need to do is talk to your BF.  Tell him that you can’t handel the biting and the furry bed and something needs to be done.  And he needs to help.

For the shedding issue, I would seriously consider getting a FURmanator.  You have probably seen them on TV, and OMG they work!!! We have a boxer and who would think that a short haird dog like that would need it, but I have seen some major improvments from using it reqularly. 

Ankle Bitter…I would also try the toy thing.  We raise our dog with the idea that he should NEVER bite a person, play or not.  We don’t want him to get the idea that it is ok to bit skin and know the feeling and associate it with play and then bite a kid and hirt them on accident when the dog is just thinking he is playing like normal.  We scold and crate him for misbehaving.  Not for long in the crate, because we dont want him to think that is a place of punishment… Its like grounding our kid really, but he will go there on his own to sleep and such. If the toys dont work you should try some “Bitter Yuck” spray some on your ankles and then he will get the taste in his mouth when he trys to bite you… This is good for ANYTHING, its water based so it wont stain… All my collecables that are doggy height are doused in it and he has learned to just leave the “nasty” things alone…

 

I hope you have some better luck.  You may also talk to a trainer and get some suggestions. They go to school for it so they should have some ideas.

Post # 16
Member
161 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Agreed with everything above—this dog desperately needs training. Most of this can be corrected with the help of a good trainer. The biting and nipping in particular is a BIG problem—that’s puppy behavior that should be trained out when the dog is young, but it sounds like there wasn’t much training involved here. Especially for herding dogs, that’s important to do, both because they want jobs to do (they do best in environments where they have tasks) and because it’s annoying when they nip you, but it can be a legal issue if they nip someone’s three-year-old, which is one of the biggest reasons border collies and other herding dogs end up back with one of our local rescue groups—they try to “herd” kids with the biting. (And it is natural for them to want to herd, but how they do it can be influenced by training.)

Some dogs (mine included) also shed more depending on what kind of food they’re eating, so it’s worth making sure the food is a good fit. (If it’s not, the dog will likely have other problems—gas, rubbing eyes, licking paws obsessively, or coarse fur—that are clues to a food issue or allergy.) Sounds like this is probably a shepherd or collie of some sort, though, and some of them just shed like it’s their job, even when they’re in great health. A good vacuum cleaner helps! We have a strict no-bedroom rule, too. The key there is to be really consistent with it—no exceptions for special occasions, etc. (After a few years, our dog is so good about it that when we have guests over and their dogs charge ahead into the bedroom, he stands at the threshold and cries….but that took a lot of training and reinforcing with treats.)

And last but not least—it’s entirely possible that your read on the situation is right and the dog *does* resent you! You’re changing his norm, and he’s not used to sharing your BF with you all the time. The good part is that it’s relatively easy to win over dogs (as opposed to, say, resentful children!)—but you should talk with your BF candidly about it. The rules need to be the same with both of you, or the dog will clue in and completely walk all over you. For a while, see if you can feed the dog instead of your BF (I know, irritating since it’s not your dog, but being the food-giver reinforces you as a “master” in the house). If the dog knows any commands or tricks, ask him to do them and then give him a treat (even if it means he does the same one command over and over—you’re just reinforcing that he does what you tell him, and then he gets rewarded; it doesn’t really matter what it is that he’s doing). If you’re going through a doorway, you and BF go first, then the dog. It sounds weird, but dogs are pack animals and your household is the pack—and he needs to know that even though you’re new, you are higher in the pack than he is.

I’d strongly suggest that you take a training class together with the dog. It will help you to be able to ask a trainer questions with your BF there so you can both get answers from a trusted source, and you may begin to understand/like the dog better too when you spend time with him in a more controlled environment. (Plus, it may help BF understand that some of these behaviors are big problems when he hears it from a trainer.) Herding dogs are usually super trainable, which makes classes with them pretty fun, too.

Good luck!

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