(Closed) Offending family poll! Save me!!

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Who to invite or not invite?
    No "bridesmaid" cousin, no aunts, no uncles, no cousins = unhappy bride. : (2 votes)
    11 %
    "Bridesmaid" cousin only, not his sister or mom & dad = "bridesmaid"'s unhappy family. : (9 votes)
    50 %
    "Bridesmaid" cousin and his family = unhappy fiancé's family. : (3 votes)
    17 %
    All aunts, uncles and cousins = unhappy bride and groom. : (4 votes)
    22 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    29 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: March 2013

    Oh boy! That is a tough one. We were recently invited to a wedding but we cannot make it. The groom is my FI’s cousin. My Fiance was the only member of his family invited (except the groom’s immediate family). No one was offended. My Fiance is closest to the groom out of the others and in another way of looking at it, my Fiance was representing his side of the family. So I say invite your cousin. If there are any kick backs, hold your head high. Every decision you make will have a consequence so you might as well decide on the one you want. Good luck.

    Post # 4
    Member
    1269 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    First are you absolutely sure the scenerios will play out as you say? I’d so hate for you to make one of these choices and something like your cousin not showing up happening after you’ve offended people and what not.

    You have time. So I’d play it really low key about the wedding for now. Who knows where the guests will be or what frame of mind you will be in by september 2014.

    Don’t talk to the guests about the wedding for now. See how things stand by this time next year and then make your choices. 

    Post # 5
    Member
    735 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    Invite the people who you want at the wedding.  Don’t invite those who will stress you out or be a burden to entertain.  The only exception to this advice – Make sure you invite “socail units” together. (Don’t invite a husband, but not his wife, don’t invite somebody who is engaged, but not her fiance, and if a couple is living together, you should invite both of them if you invite one of them.)

    If you think there is a huge potential to offend somebody you care about, you need to think it through, and be ready to explain the truthful reasons they aren’t invited.  (i.e. We’re having a really small ceremony.  Thank you so much for your support.  I do hope that we’ll be able to have dinner together soon though!)

    If you want to invite your aunt & uncle, but neither you nor your Fiance want to invite his aunts and uncles, then you CAN make that call… but it’s best to have a clear reason that his parents will understand, so they don’t pressure you to add to the guest list.

    I wound up inviting everyone for my wedding.  It worked out fine for me, the relatives who I don’t care for attended, but knew that they were expected to be on their best behavior; and actually pretty much steered clear of me & Darling Husband.  We hardly even remembered that they were among our 55 guests.

    The topic ‘Offending family poll! Save me!!’ is closed to new replies.

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