(Closed) Offending friends by not having BMs

posted 8 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Bee
2362 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010 - New York Botanical Garden

There are ways that you can involve in and before your wedding – maybe take her to look at dresses or flowers, if you are thinking about incorporating readings into the ceremony, think about asking her, if she is artistic or has a special talent (i.e. singing) think about ways to incorporate that, ask her to help you plan a bach party or engagement party – if she feels involved, she may not mind not having the title.

Post # 4
Member
1638 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I think if you are only having a Maid/Matron of Honor your other friends should understand. I wouldn’t get her a corsage or anything, she is a friend…not a parent or grandparent! Maybe you can ask her to read a poem or something to feel included. I think it’s odd that she is mad about this, you are having an intimate ceremony and it’s not like you asked 5 friends and not her.

Post # 5
Member
24 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: May 2010

I know of other brides that decided to just have one Maid/Matron of Honor and no bridesmaids and their friends were deeply hurt. I had several friends that I wanted to include in my wedding but knew I wouldn’t be able to. One idea I found online said to have your closest friends who you want to stand out at the wedding wear a dress of their choice in your wedding colors. Check out this post on a bride who did this: http://www.isntshelovely.org/2009/03/bridesmaids-without-title-or.html

Also check out these suggestions: http://www.bellaonline.com/articles/art46419.asp

Post # 7
Member
3539 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

You know what I think would be a great idea is to get her to a witness. My friend Courtney had 3 bridesmaids in total but her sister wasnt one of them, so what she did was when they went to sign the register… her sister got up and signed as a witness. It was a great gesture, included her in the wedding, and she felt important.

Just throwing and idea out there.

Looking forward to reading about your wedding!

Post # 8
Member
940 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2010

How about asking her to perform a reading?

I guess as I get closer to my own wedding, I’m becoming totally intolerant of the unnecessary distractions that crop up along the way. This is your wedding. You set the pace, you set the tone. If you don’t want a bridal party, make it known and let that be the end of it. Your friend is probably just feeling insecure. She’ll get over it when you recruit her to help you out and to perform whatever special task you entrust her with.

I promise… you’re going to want to have as few things on your plate as possible. Just reassure her that you love her and get focused. She’ll get over it.

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