(Closed) Offending people with the children question

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
1736 posts
Bumble bee

It was just an idea and you shouldn’t feel bad at all. It sounds like Bridesmaid or Best Man is completely overreacting. You didn’t say that they HAD to use the child-care option, but you are letting them know that it could be made available and you are just gauging interest. Sounds like she’s a drama queen, that one! Don’t feel bad and you are NOT being a Bridezilla! You are being quite kind and thoughtful about your guests.

Post # 4
55 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

From the way you phrased it here, it sounds like maybe she was overreacting.  If you were just floating an idea out there, she shouldn’t be offened.  I think your response back with and apology and clarifying was exactly what you should do and hopefully she’s fine.  If she’s still upset after this, I’m not sure why!

Post # 5
418 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

OP, you sound very thoughtful and that is a nice gesture. Maybe she didn’t get the feel that kids are OK at the weding, and that this was an optional idea that you were considering. She’s nutty, you’re fine. Congrats and enjoy your DW!!

Post # 6
2031 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I wouldn’t feel bad at ALL!  People are very sensitive when it comes to their kids, but once she realizes you were just asking for parental thoughts it’ll be fine.  I would send all the parents a new message and say ‘I got some mixed thoughts on the Nanny idea, and would hate for anyone to feel uncomfortable so have told the resort ‘Thanks, but no thanks’.

 Honestly, I don’t know how I’d feel about a Nanny I’d never met watching my (hypothetical) kids either, especially so far away from home, and (assuming, could be wrong) in another country.  It sounds innocent, and probably would be fun for the kids too…but my paranoia would make it so that I couldn’t enjoy the wedding because one of us would always be checking on them.  

Post # 7
2742 posts
Sugar bee

Nope. You are being a very nice bride. I’m not going to lie, the one time I went for a Destination Wedding, the reception was very annoying because everyone attended it like it was a Disney Cruise (it was in the Bahamas at the Atlantis). There were sooooo many kids and they were so loud! Sorry, but most folks couldn’t hear the MC or the DJ making announcements nor could they hear the toasts. I wish the bride had asked for a nanny for folks…FWIW, most of the kids were in the 3-9 year range. I did have another friend who allowed the kids to join adults during some parts of the dancing but otherwise had them in another room with DVDs and ice cream. Peace!!!

Post # 8
3773 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 1999

I think it 100% depends on how you worded it. If you made it clear from the get go in the email that it was optional and that the kids were still invited then I think she is overreacting. But if I had paid for a Destination Wedding and then all of a sudden it seemed like kids weren’t welcome I would be a little miffed finding out after everything was booked.

Post # 10
49 posts
  • Wedding: September 2012

I’m just thinking from their POV since it’s a destination wedding they have to bring their child to the resort.  Plus, they are spending extra money (and time) to travel.  Is there anyway you can ask they don’t come to the ceremony (if you are afraid they’ll be noisy) and just have them at the reception?

If this was an at home wedding I would agree with you about not bringing the kids and getting a babysitter.

The topic ‘Offending people with the children question’ is closed to new replies.

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