Post # 1
Ill go first:
My SO and I STILL laugh about how early on in our relationship, when we were having the “how many people have you slept with” conversation (we slept together before this conversation) and I said 3 he goes “really? I would have guessed a lot higher”
and I got kind of quiet and he realized how shitty that sounded because I had confessed to him I felt a little weird about how QUICK we slept together so I thought he thought that was a regular thing for me and I had slept around a lot? I don’t know. Anyway, he quickly explained because I was more “open, experienced, and comfortable with sex than any of his exs and he would have never guessed I had slept with less people than him. LOL
so, now it’s an ongoing joke about how I used to sleep around a lot before I met him. haha!
Post # 3
He quotes the Simpsons a lot so one day he grabbed by stomach and said “Woooo look at that blubber fly!”
I was gobsmacked and looked at him as if to say “I’m going to stop your heart now.”
We could laugh because I didn’t really have much fat on my abs – I have put on weight but geeze. It was funny.
Post # 4
I’m the one that tends to put the foot in my mouth. The other day Fiance put on a new shirt and I said “Wow that shirt actaully fits you” as if he typically wears clothes that don’t fit. I tried to back track with “I mean it’s just bigger than your other shirts” Fiance is currently trying to loose weight, so now I’m implying that all of his other clothes are too small since he’s fat and now he’s finally wearing the right size.
All I meant to say was that the new shirt looked good. He wasn’t upset or anything, just laughed at my sad attempts to fix what I had said.
Post # 5
@skippydarling: oh my lawd I would have killed someone hahahah
@Kit_Kath: LOL I say this to my Fiance all the time because he buys his clothes too big for some reason
Post # 6
When I first met my husband we were playing WoW online and living 3000 miles apart from one another. In addition, I was in a long term (3 yr) relationship living with my then Boyfriend or Best Friend, so I really didn’t think of my husband as anything more than a friend. My ex and I ended up parting ways and that day I got on vent (it’s like skype kinda, but for gamers) and here’s how our conversation went:
Darling Husband: You sound like you’re kinda down, what’s up?
Me: Oh, I just broke up with X
Darling Husband: Nice!
Me: Did you really just say “nice”? That’s kind of a dick thing to say.
This was followed by lots of back peddling and a long winded confession, so we get a laugh out of it now.
Post # 7
I’m thin but still have err… dimples on my backside. Whereas it’s a compliment to say a female has an “apple bottom” he once said mine looked like an apple with worm holes. I make fun of his big belly all the time.
Post # 8
I’m like Kit_Kath with being the one to say stupid things.
The other night my husband came home from his bartending shift, and I didn’t realize until we were laying in bed that he reeked of cigarette smoke (he prefers to shower when he wakes up). I said to him “Holy jeez you smell bad!” and then realized how bad it sounded. Thankfully he got up and took a shower!
Post # 9
@housebee: that’s actually kinda cute haha
@Aquaria: -_- oh men … Hahah!
Post # 10
Oh boy, which time? I think our primary method of joking involves insults and foul language.
1. We’d been dating a couple of months, and I was still in that rosy-glow phase where everything he does is just magical. I was sitting on his lap and complimenting him on being such a gentleman, when he smiled coyly and said “bitch, get off me.” I dont think I’d ever heard him swear, and he really enjoyed the look on my face.
2. Like most of my “beauty”, my eyebrows can be wiped off entirely with a wet kleenex. It’s pretty obvious they’re drawn on, and if people ask I don’t lie. We’d been dating for a few months and were out for a Mavs playoff game at a local bar. While there, a male friend of his flat-out asked me “why do you draw your eyebrows on?” As I was explaning it to him, I could see FIs wheels start turning. His friend asked him “What do YOU think of it?” Fiance shrugged, and with a perfectly straight face said “meh, doesnt matter to me…they end up rubbing off near my belly button a lot, but as long as she’s cool with it I dont care.” Everyone around us errupted.
What a charmer.
Post # 11
I am sure I have some examples but my mind is drawing blanks. This is the best I’ve got:
Him: I love when you’re a bitch.
Me: You just called me a bitch.
Him: But I said, I love it. It’s okay if I love it.
Me: Well, colour me relieved.
Him: See? Bitch.
Post # 12
@badabing88: LOL. We have a similar sense of humour. We insult each other on the regular, but it’s funny.
Also, can I ask you why you actually do draw your eyebrows on? I’ve never known why. I hate my eyebrows and would love to shave them off…but I don’t know how to make new ones 😛
Post # 13
I have wonderful, clear skin. I always have. During ALL of my teenage years, I had a TOTAL of 8 zits.
Then I got pregnant.
A few weeks ago, Darling Husband looked at me and said “You said you had 8 zits as a teenager, right? ‘Cause you TOTALLY have 8 right now!”
I just stared at him. Then I cried. Then I laughed so hard I started crying again.
But mostly we laugh about it
Post # 14
Oh, and I totally forgot to add in the things about me he makes fun of:
-“Flappers”: those would be my boobs…because when not suspended in a push up bra, they closely resemble pancakes. Many people we know are aware of this nickname.
-“Bingo Wings”: I talk with my hands a LOT and my upper arm chub is quite mobile, earning me that pretty nickname.
Post # 15
@badabing88: 2. LMFAO that’s the best, my Fiance is so shy if I mention ANYTHING about our sex life in front of friends he gets shy lol I asked why and he said he doesn’t want his friends picturing me naked? Hahaha
@MrsPanda99: haha see, we don’t do the name calling ..ever. So i think that would actually make me mad
Post # 16
@Laurenskii: I have one from two nights ago that we instantly started laughing about.
Fiance: Would you like a massage?
Fiance: Oh, and I don’t even expect sex out of this!
Me: Fine, than I’ll have a massage hold the sex.
Fiance: That’s not the answer I was expecting.