(Closed) Offensive Twitter profile set up by ex friend

posted 6 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
891 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

The reason this is happening is because some people just suck.

I’m sorry you are going through this. I think you should have a conversation with your Fiance about how this is all making you feel. It can’t be making him feel any better, and to keep this from ripping you two apart, you really have to face it together.

Post # 4
Member
5977 posts
Bee Keeper

I’m really sorry that this is still happening. I know that it hurts a lot that these people cannot seem to get over everything, but I have a feeling that it has nothing to do with the fact that your FH is bisexual. What’s to say that if he were straight and never had a fling with this guy that this guy wouldn’t still be obviously jealous of your relationship? 

The best way to make a bully happy is to let him know that you’re hurt and bothered by what he’s doing. The longer you ignore him and what’s happening, the less they’ll be inclined to talk about you. I know it’s been a really long time, and clearly these people have nothing better to do with their time than make up fake twitter pages. Keep trying to ignore them, and obviously take down any twitter pages that they decide to make up, and keep living your life. Try not to let them get to you or in between your relationship…b/c then they win.

Post # 5
Member
2607 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I second 2PeasinaPod… sexual orientation has no bearing on the unfortunate fact of having crazies in his past.  You’re doing the best thing by limiting your exposure to this group, and honestly (I hate to bring this up here, on an internet forum, which I spend an alarming amount of time on…) but these people are a bunch of trolls hiding behind the anonymity of a computer monitor.  I think you need to shift the focus back on the friends you met in other avenues of your life (like school, work etc…).

Post # 7
Member
2263 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I’m sorry all those things were said about you, how terrible! 🙁 I’ve also been the target of bullying and some people just don’t stop. I agree you should get as much distance between yourself and these people as possible. Surround yourself with friends who are supportive and forget all those trolls! It will get better! 

EDIT: I want to also add that I haven’t seen the major bullies in over a year or two and they still find a way to haunt me… somehow :/ WTF. pitiful. 

Post # 8
Member
6019 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2017

wow. I have heard of jealous ex’s before but this is one of the worst most long lasting stories I have heard about. im so sorry you are having to deal with this. Try and keep in mind that this is not a representation of the LGBT community as a whole. There are bad seeds in every group of people, in all races, sexual orientations, ages, genders, ….unfortunately ugly knows no boundaries and can show up in all walks of life. These people are just a couple of bad seeds and I would try to not generalize and associate these few with an entire community full of lots of good people who would never act this way. Also, by letting them cause so many waves in your relationship they are ultimately winning and doing exactly what they are setting out to do. Don’t let them have that kind of satisfaction. Do not reward their behavior with letting it have an affect on your happiness. The fact of the matter is, your fiance is bisexual. Loving someone means accepting all aspects of who they are. You do not have to like every single part of who someone is but you do have to accept it if you are going to love them and spend your life with them. Also try and remember that it is not a choice to be gay or bisexual and that it probably hurts your fiance to know that you are affected so much by a part of him that he did not choose, but that just is. focus on the good people that are in your life and keep distancing yourself as much as possible from the others. I know it has to be exhausting and really frustrating to still be dealing with something after 3 years. Bullying is a problem im sure all of us have faced at some time or another and its never easy. But by continuing to live a happy life with your fiance and keeping the love you two have strong you are going to come out on top. at some point they will find something else to focus on and you two can finally just be left alone. good luck darlin!

Post # 9
Member
148 posts
Blushing bee

I’m sorry you’re going through this, but the whole thing sounds pretty suspicious to me.

Neither one of you associates w/*any* of the people involved? I’ve known some severely spiteful people, but no one that would ever still be talking so much about someone they haven’t seen or heard from in over a year or two. Not w/out gossip from a mutual friend or something else.

What gives?

And as far as ignoring it & not letting it get to you… I vote screw that. Stand up to these people! Scream from the rooftops what they’re doing & saying about you. If they’re being so horrible, confront them in public & embarrass the crap out of them. They’re spreading lies about you & going to great lengths to ruin your life. Impersonating you online & spreading negative rumors about you? That’s defamation, which is ILLEGAL. Mentioning a MISCARRIAGE? W… T… F? Has your SO not confronted these people & told them he loves you, is attracted to you, & that they need to focus on their own obviously boring lives?

Some people can’t simply be ignored. That doesn’t always make things go away. These people are bullies & must be stopped.

Post # 11
Member
3220 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

as difficult as it sounds, you have to ignore them.  you have to not seek out and look at what they’re saying and you have to make a new life and build new friends.

if they are bad people, they’ll keep talking about you because they have nothing better to do and nothing more exciting in their boring lives.  take it as a sign that they have done nothing with their lives that this is still what they’re talking about, three years later.

Post # 13
Member
943 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

This is so horrible, I am sorry you are going through it.  I suspect from your post (spelling of “programme”) that you are not in the US–here we have many cyber-bullying laws, it is unfortunately a hot topic these days and there are many law-enforcement contingents working to prosecute people for this crime.  (There have been many teen suicides due to cyber-bullying and it’s getting worse–where I live there is a trial going on right now for a college student that committed suicide jumping off a bridge because his roommate secretly videocasted him online having a same sex sexual encounter and he was so upset that he killed himself–the roommate is being prosecuted).

I suggest you look into the legal recourse in your area, this is a disgusting thing for someone to do and I can’t imagine how twisted they are to even think of it…and to bring your miscarriage into it.  Absolutely revolting.

Post # 14
Member
686 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Actually, I’m going to go out and say that while you should not directly engage with them, you SHOULD contact Twitter if this account impersonating you is using your real name in any way, shape or form. 

I’m not sure where you live, but in the US in some states, you would have a right to take action under cyberbullying laws.

EDIT:  What she said above.

Post # 15
Member
1734 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@TheMsMittens:  Man, I am so sorry that the ugly side of fandom is biting you in the butt. Please let me apologize on behalf of my fellow geeks — we’re not all this messed up!

See if there’s any sliding-scale legal services in your area re: the cease and desist. Also maybe some pre-marital counseling — not of the catastrophic “can this marriage be saved?” type, but more just to help you and your Fiance with the resilience of your relationship in light of all this abuse, and maybe to explore some of your feelings about his past sexual history. Does this make sense? I’m not trying to be a jerk or suggest that somehow YOU are the problem here. Just thinking that getting to unburden all of this to someone in what is already a stressful wedding-planning time might be good.

Just my two cents — hope that it’s helpful. Sorry for all the bullying you’re going through!

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