Post # 1
Quick question for the board: I am having a destination wedding in Jamaica and just heard a few good friends can’t make it. Is is rude for me to let them know that if money is the issue I am happy to help make the trip more affordable for them? A friend of mine said it might seem presumptuous of me to bring up money and if that was just an excuse they were using put them in an awkward situation of having to explain the real reason behind their absence. I just thought I was being accommodating..what do you think? Would you be offended by this?
Post # 3
As somebody who almost couldn’t attend a few weddings in the past, I would’ve loved some help from the bride and groom if I thought they could afford to pay for it/worry about it (although in these cases, I understood that they couldn’t). Instead of just offering money, you might offer something concrete like a plane ticket or hotel rooms. They might feel more comfortable accepting that.
Post # 4
I agree with amysue. Offering a concrete item to ease the cost (if that’s the issue) would be more comfortable. Several of my friends got married just out of college and as I was living paycheck to paycheck at the time it was extremely stressful to need to pay for a flight & hotel & bridesmaid dress & shower gift & wedding gift for ONE event. I declined to go for one of my good friend’s weddings because of the money involved. She let my absence become an issue and we really haven’t been friends since. It’s too bad and it felt silly for me to go into deeper debt just to please someone else. I don’t reget my decision even now.
Post # 5
If they are good enough friends, which they are since you’re inviting them to your wedding, politely and delicately enquiring about the cost should not be a problem. I would recommend asking them to keep your gift to them private just in case feathers could get ruffled with other guests that were not offered financial assistance.