Post # 1
My fiance and I are having a small destination wedding next year, possibly in Bermuda. There are three set of parents (fiance’s parents divorced when he was a baby and both remarried and have been with current spouse for 20+ years), and two sets are financially comfortable and can pay their own way. The third set has a lot of debt and medical problems, and would have to accumulate more debt to attend a destination wedding. So fiance and I have agreed between ourselves to offer to pay their way. My question is how to phrase it? They are kind people, yet very proud and would insist they can afford it on their own. How can we offer it as a gift without sounding like we are scolding them for previous choices or giving them charity? It would be our honor to pay for them to attend–sort of a “thank-you” for the sacrifices they made bringing up my fiance. Should we just offer to make all the arrangements (flight, hotel, passport) and pay for it without mentioning anything at first?
Post # 3
I would mention that you found a great deal on a hotel, flight, whatever and that you had to book it right away. If they offer to pay you back just say oh that’s ok, the deal was really good or that y’all can discuss it later and never bring it back up:) That is really nice of you to do this for them!
Post # 4
i would just say you’d really like to give them this as a gift since their support means so much to you
Post # 5
I agree with DaisyLynn. If you find a way to just DO it, and pay for it, they can’t exactly disagree with you or let their pride get in the way. If you offer it up or say you’d like to do it as a gift or something, that gives them the option of declining. In my experience, don’t give people the option of declining or putting in their two cents on something like this…make sure the times and places work for them and just do it! 🙂
Post # 6
A combo of DaisyLynn’s and Ms. Meowerson’s responses would work. Tell them you were able to get a good deal and that you are giving them this trip as a thank you gift. Very generous of you. Best wishes!
Post # 7
Yeah, either just BUY their flight, or buy them gift certificates for the airline and give them to them as Christmas gifts (I’m assuming most airlines do gift cards…maybe I’m wrong)
Post # 8
That’s so nice of you guys to do. I think the other bee’s gave good advice. I’m sure it’ll work out. Good luck 🙂
Post # 9
Thank you all for putting the words in my mouth! You guys are on the right track–fiance and I will book their arrangements and present it as a done deal. They are busy people with a lot going on, so we can play the time-saving angle for taking the initiative. Thanks again! 🙂
Post # 10
Do they know your DW plans already?
I’d give them their plane tickets/booking as a gift and make the DW announcement at the same time