Post # 1
Member
157 posts
Blushing bee
our whole wedding. But we’re not accepting.
My Family and my fiancé’s family have both offered to pay significant amounts of money towards our wedding but we have said thanks, but no thanks. We are having a small, rustic, budget wedding even though we could have the option of an elaborate wedding if we accepted their offers.
Has anyone else refused money while wedding planning? What was your reasoning? Did it create any hard feelings?
Post # 3
Member
7587 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
We refused money from his Mother’s long term boyfriend, but only because his mother is a gold digger and we feel bad for him 🙂
Post # 4
Member
9029 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
I refused money from my parents because I know they really cant afford to give it.
Post # 5
Member
949 posts
Busy bee
I haven’t refused any, but I’m choosing to still plan not to use all of what’s offered… partly because then there’s room for things to go a little over budget, and partly because I know it’s not a small amount for my family. Whether the extra stays with them or they want me to use it for other things will be completely up to them, as far as I’m concerned.
Post # 6
Member
4162 posts
Honey bee
We’ve refused money from our moms. Neither of them can afford to help out, and so we had an over 2 year engagement to save up for it. My uncle offered to help pay for a portion as our wedding gift (his words – “so I don’t have to think of something to buy you” lol) which we are using only if we go over budget but otherwise, 100% we’re paying for everything. Rings, honeymoon, wedding, rehearsal dinner, etc.
Post # 7
Member
6572 posts
Bee Keeper
My parents gifted us a certain amount and said spend it as you please, we could have a big wedding or elope and keep the money, they didn’t care. If they would have said, “here’s the money…. and everyone we want to invite” i would have said no b/c I wanted a small wedding, and was not willing to compromise that.
Post # 8
Member
752 posts
Busy bee
My inlaws offered to pay for the whole thing. We declined since we wanted to maintain complete control of the guest list, food, etc.
There were no hard feelings. We told them that it is a party we want to throw for ourselves and think that taking $$ to throw a party seemed silly. If we find we are in financial trouble at a later date or to purchase our next home, then we’d be more inclined to accept help for something like that.
Post # 9
Member
106 posts
Blushing bee
We refused money from both sets of parents because we wanted to have control over the size of the wedding (my fiance REALLY wanted a <50 people wedding with mostly friends) – and if our parents were involved, the wedding would already have about 60 family members invited who we didn’t need there. We also wanted to make it simple and cheap, so we wouldn’t be spending vast sums of money on just one day. It worked out fine – my parents generously gave us the money as a wedding gift, and we have a feeling his will too – but we would have been just as happy if they had only shown up!
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