Post # 1
So…I work at a “young” small company, and I am not the only person who is currently engaged. This is fine. What is NOT fine is that the other girl’s wedding is one month before mine and as a trust fund baby who is marrying rich, she is constantly one-upping me.
My destination wedding to Hilton Head, SC? No problem. She’s going to GREECE.
My ring is 1.5 carats. Hers is close to 3.
My dress is a sample. Hers is couture.
The list goes on and on…
I realize this is really petty, but because I’m around her at work all day, it bothers me. I can’t help but feel like I’m “second best”. This is really stupid, I know. But I didn’t know where else to go to vent.
Post # 3
Maybe you should stop talking about your wedding and hers? I don’t think you are ever going to top her but remember that it isn’t about how much fancy stuff you have, it is about the day you get to marry your guy.
Post # 4
Awww… I feel for you. I know it’s hard, but try to focus on why you are excited for your own wedding. You have worked hard to create a day that will be special for you and your fiance. And honestly, would you really want this girl’s wedding? Would it really feel like it was you?
One of my friends got engaged after me, and is getting married 2 weeks before me. We are wedding planning at the same time as each other, and it it SO hard to not compare her wedding against mine and turn it into some kind of competition. But it’s NOT a competition. It’s about having an amazing wedding day with your future husband, your family, and your friends.
Post # 5
But who’s marrying the better guy? You are!!
Her 0, you 1.
Post # 6
I know it’s tough but you just have to tell yourself that your wedding is going to be just as beautiful and wonderful as hers will be! Weddings are great but at the end of the day you’re marrying the person that you love more than anything and that’s all that matters! Don’t let her wedding make you feel any less special about yours. Hang in there, hon!
Post # 7
Aww girl, I feel you. I’m friends with a girl who got engaged before me and is getting married two weeks after, and *another* friend who got engaged after me and is getting married before me. Every time they say/post anything about their weddings, I start to get a little tick — especially since Bride #2 booked the photographer I wanted but was unavailable on our date (that, coupled with another disappointment that day, led to a total meltdown that evening … not my finest moment.)
My strategy has been to block it out and focus on the details of our wedding. Today, I found the hair clip I’ve been looking for for a month and it was a delightful day. I don’t even want to know/and am trying not to care what they’re doing with their hair 😀
The Comparison/Green-Eyed Monstor is eeeeeevil.
Post # 8
Believe me, I avoid talking about weddings at work.
Still, I swear everytime she walks by my desk she flashes her giant diamond and then gives my ring a condescending glance.
Post # 9
Oh booo, that sucks. You could take comfort in the fact that you’re being practical and spending your money wisely, as opposed to mindlessly burning all your cash on a one-day event.
In my office there are two other girls who are engaged, and both of them are trust-fund babies. But they’re both very practical and budget-savvy. In fact, we all having a friendly competition with each other in terms of how much money we’re saving. My one colleague was so upset that I’m getting a discount with my flowers, whereas she has to spend thousands of dollars. And two of us brides are jealous of the other girl who’s doing a cost-effective destination wedding, as opposed to a more expensive traditional affair.
It really depends on how you look at it 🙂 There’s no competition because there are no winners and no losers, every wedding is unique. Plus, once the day is over, the only thing that will matter is the quality of your marriage 🙂
Post # 10
Money can’t buy happiness.
Just amazing divorce lawyers.
Post # 11
@KMSull: Ilovvvveeeeeeeeetttttttttt! LOL!
Post # 12
I have a similar situation, but with a person who use to be one of my closest friends.
We’ve actually not talked in quite a while, I couldn’t handle the competition. I just keep telling myself that we’ll be much happier in the long run, not going into debt to pay for our wedding. Debt causes stress, which could lead to divorce.
Post # 13
I’m also in a similar situation- our wedding is ‘sandwiched’ literally, between two others’ weddings.
Fiance and I announced our date much earlier before anyone else (one of the couples only got engaged at Christmas 09- we got engaged in September 09). Then we find out a week or two after we announce our date, that one of the couples will be getting married the day before us (but in Australia- whatever) but they’re coming to HK (where we live) to do a second ceremony a week after ours. Whatever- Fiance and I will be on honeymoon, so I’m over that.
Fast forward to last month- we found out that the other friends (who got engaged at Christmas) has set their date a week before ours. Needless to say, I am soooooo angry and hurt as I feel that they are stealing our thunder (also inviting OUR guests- haha okay, so I know we don’t own our guests- but guests who are coming in from overseas- this couple is now asking them to come to HK earlier, so they can go to their wedding a week earlier!) They have also stolen ideas that we said we were doing- we mentioned wedding details before they even got engaged!! It’s particularly hard with this couple because her dad is paying for everything- whereas Fiance and I are paying for our wedding. So I can’t help but to think about all their little details being ‘better’ than ours. URGH- Fiance have agreed that we will not attend their wedding (I don’t want to see/hear anything about their wedding because I don’t want to find similarities) and that they are no longer invited to ours.
The last thing I wanted was our wedding to be compared to someone else’s- particularly one that was a week before! NOT ON.
Post # 14
Clapping for KMSull’s awesome comment!
I just think btw that it’s never good to try to one up anybody and that’s sad if she’s doing that. Maybe find ways to talk about what you’re both doing that’s fun and forget about her price tag? We could afford a bigger wedding, but we’re being frugal instead b/c we want nice furniture for the house, so maybe just find some common ground to talk wedding with her?
Btw, I think you’re doing an amazingly great job. Keep positive no matter what she does.
The day after the wedding is over, all people remember is if the bride looked lovely, the food was good, and that if they had a good time. None of those things to me are terribly related to price. The best cake I ever ate came out of my grandma’s kitchen from scratch and I dare a couture cake baker to make one better.
Hugs to you and sorry you’re having to deal with this.
Post # 15
AArrgh that what totally annoy me too! But be proud of your wedding! You might not have the funds she has but hey you should feel good bcuz you are working for your wedding and it’s not just being handed to you. Don’t let it get to you!
Post # 16
I hate competitive people! It’s best to just take a few deep breaths, relax, and never take her comments to heart. Different weddings ae suitable for different people….plus greece is much nicer in theroy than in actuality! Lots of rubbish and ickiness.