Post # 1
Some of you may have commented on my “emotional” thread post about working at my office for 5 years and not even getting a card from a single coworker when I got married in August which I was pretty upset about. The majority of those who took my poll said “who cares” it’s a paycheck not your life, baby showers are far more common at the office, and if office people aren’t invited to the wedding you shouldn’t expect anything.
Flash forward about 2 weeks after I posted that, a male coworker (on my team and on the same floor as me) had a big party thrown for him because he is about to get married in Hawaii. He recieved several cards, serveral large gift certificates and cash and other gifts part of which was paid for with money provided “by the company” (not just coworkers).
At that event several people who knew I had just gotten married asked “what did we do for you?” to which I replied nothing had been done. Several congratulated me and also asked to see pictures from my wedding. So my question is, is it wrong to either book a small confrence room and invite people to come see my wedding album? (I don’t really want to haul it in multiple times (I don’t drive to work) or leave it hanging around the office for when people randomly stop by.) or hint to my coworker who has now thrown 3 showers in 3 months that I would like to do something and see what happens.
I think the only reason I didn’t get a card or something more is that my boss spaced out because we are busy and she is pregnant and clearly has a lot on her mind. My boss is new, and my same age, so I don’t know if she has ever managed someone who had a life event happen before.
Thanks for your honest advice and please don’t tear me down for still thinking about this, when my coworker had his party it was a pretty big blow.
Post # 3
@Miss Gamer: Sounds rough. Hopefully by people asking, and finding out they did nothing for you, THEY will be the ones to put something together.
Post # 4
I’d say bring the album in once and before doing so let those specific people who asked know what day you are bringing it in. Let them look that day and leave it at that. Don’t bend over backwards for these people. I’m sorry your feelings were hurt. Mine would be to after the coworkers party.
Post # 5
I’d let them put something together for you. Its shocking that they didn’t even get you a wee wedding card. It’s not about gifts or anything like that, but you probably spend more hours in the day at work than you do with your loved ones so the gesture would have been nice.
I wouldn’t instigate anything though.
Post # 6
I wouldn’t do anything. If they want to throw you something, fine (doubtful at this point). If people want to se pics, maybe you can email them a few.
Post # 7
I have worked at my office for FOURTEEN YEARS. And in that time frame I married twice, 10 years apart (both were elopements).
While I do understand they weren’t technically invited, a card would have been a thoughtful gesture. I’ve known 955 of these people for 14 years! I did not receive any cards from any of them for either marriage. I was more hurt the first time, this time I guess I changed my expectations. I am usually the one to bring in birthday cakes/donuts, gather money if someone had a baby to buy a gift card.
I’d be doubly hurt if the company did that for a guy already and not you! Were those people invited to his wedding by chance?
I did have my wedding photos on my computer, so if someone asked, I did show them. If you have an album, doesn’t hurt to bring it and if someone asks then you can show them. I would not book a room for the sole purpose of showing your photos though and I would not leave it laying around for attention.
Post # 8
As much as I would have wanted to vote for “who cares” the fact that they are now making such a big effort for your colleague would definitely make me feel even worse about it. It’s one of those things in life that you just have to let go. Which is unfair but happens all the time. I agree with your idea to bring your album in once rather than leave it at work. that is a brilliant idea!
Post # 9
Bring in the album and leave on yoru desk. spread the word and those that want to see will come see. 🙂
Post # 11
I wonder what happened wih this.