Officers’ wives vs Enlisted wives

posted 8 years ago in Military
Post # 3
690 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

My cousin is an officer’s wife and is the most down to earth person I know. She would die rather than offend someone or bring up finances in public.

Post # 5
4311 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@Karissa: Ha.  I would be too, and if she’s going to stereotype, how about this: every officer in the Air Force I knew cheated on their wife.  Seriously.  It was AWFUL.  I was in the Air Force for 4 years and to this day if a guy tells me he is/was an Officer I get a shiver down the back of my spine.  My old boss at my civilian company is married to a girl I worked with in another dept.  I saw this picture of him before I knew him and I was like: OH NO YOU’RE MARRIED TO AN OFFICER?

Yeah.  Sad to say.  They’re still married and have 2 babies.  Oh, and he has another one with another girl that works with us.  Niiiiice.

Total tangent, but officer’s and their wives think they’re better because they’re commissioned.  Anyone can google the paychart for the military and know what a person’s MILITARY income is — but how does that tell them anything ELSE about their finances?


Post # 6
7777 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

Im the wife of an enlisted airman. I can say Ive never really had any experiences of officer’s wives being like that. Of course, I do not live with my husband at the moments and I have little experience dealing with military wives as a whole. I do know that in my experience (mostly in forums) there does seem to be 2 groups, you have the really nice helpful wives and then you have the snotty, cliquey mean girl wives. I wouldnt say that divide is exclusive to the military though. Not at all. I just think that there are more of the 2nd group. I have definitely had some wives on some forums talk down to me like a moron for asking a question when Darling Husband first enlisted, it really kind of soured me on wife forums. I am not a participating member in any right now. I stick to WB because the ladies here aren’t snotty bitches. 🙂 (Love you guys!) I hang out more with the other airmen than I do their spouses. All of DHs buddies are pretty awesome.

I mean, its common knowledge the massive disparity in pay between enlisted and officer, even NCO. Talking about it seems very catty and inappropriate.

Post # 7
5271 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

My dad was in the military my whole life, so although I was a kid, I do think there is a division between enlisted wives/families vs. officers wives/famlies.

I think alot of this has first to do with housing, if your an officer you live near other officers, you have your own community w/ very few if any enlisted families living in your “neighborhood.” So naturally wives become friends with neighbors and kids become friends with other officers kids.

Secondly, there are different family functions that occur w/in these divisions. For example, my dad was in the medical field, so we had many hospital family functions – once again the people present were mostly of a certain rank; therefore we saw them more often.

And like you said, rankings and salaries are to a level, prettyclear, so everyone does kind of have an idea of what your income is just based on that.

However, regardless of this “divison” people are people and some have tact and some don’t. No matter what a person’s income is, its up to the individual to be polite and classy.

Post # 10
2425 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

The only officer’s wife I have had any association with was my FRG leader and while we only “met” through email, she seemed awesome!  I have heard of this happening before, about the big social divide between officer and enlisted, but I was fortunate enough to never experience that…then again, that could have something to do with the fact that my Darling Husband and I lived apart and I never lived with him on post. lol  And honestly, I don’t care if it was an officer’s wive, an enlisted wife, a joechomoe’s wife, lol….but I would get highly irritated if anyone made any assumptions about whether or not my Darling Husband and I could afford something…

I think you sound like a real good experience as to what an officer’s wife should act like….maybe kick that other lady in the shins?…kidding about the kicking part.. 🙂

Post # 11
661 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

I think it really just depends on the person.  I know O wives who are lovely and some are absolute snobs.

Post # 14
4311 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@Karissa: Right!!!  I mean, that’s crazy to say something like that–and no, I don’t know your Fiance lol.  But such stereotypes are rude and unecessary.

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