Post # 1
So, I went to look at a reception venue that we would really like. We were then told it holds 100 seated (which is fine for the meal) but only 120 standing (ERROR!)
We want to invite everyone back for the evening reception for a barn dance, however we’re then looking more like 150ish. Will it be an issue if on the day if we just invite 150? Will they throw us out or give us a fine post D-day?
So do we or don’t we dare? What are your thoughts?
Post # 3
it it only holds 120 comfortable and 150 come, your guests will not be comfortable or happy.
Post # 4
there might be some complications, maybe the venue is only insured to hold 120, they would not be happy if 30 extra people turn up because it might invalidate their insurance if anything bad happens.
Post # 5
It’s most likely a health and safety/fire hazard thing … Too many people in one room = not everyone can get out in enough time if there’s a fire
You could get in massive trouble if you violated their ‘max number’ rule :S
Post # 6
This is more than likely a fire hazard to have that many people in a room that doesn’t have enough exits for more than their maximum occupancy rate. I wouldn’t risk it.
Post # 7
If you have too many people there, the coordinator might shut the whole thing down which would be a total bummer!
Post # 8
I don’t think 30 extra people is a “little white lie” – however, keep in mind that some of the people you invite probably won’t come… so, you have a little lee-way there.
Out of curiosity: How are you okay with only 100 people for dinner, yet you have 150 for dancing? You’re not feeding 50 people?
Post # 9
I would not chance it. You want your guests to be comfortable, but on the other hand you may have some people who are not able to come. It’s a matter of going with what your gut is telling you and using your best judgement
Post # 10
@melodicsighs1: Yeah, I was wondering that too…
Post # 11
Thanks Bees, so the general consensus is a no go. I personally think the venue can definitely handle 150 easily, but I would hate the day to be remebered as “That wedding that was shut down early …” (!!!) so maybe I’ll do some re-thinking.
melodicsigh1 : It’s a matter of neccesity … so the extra 50 will recieve an invitation to the ceremony and reception from 8pm onwards when the dinner will have finished and the cake cutting/speeches/dancing will be starting. I have been to many weddings where they have done this, I’m surprised you haven’t heard of it before. Our honey pots aren’t as full as alot of other lucky bees so we can’t afford to feed everyone.
Post # 12
I’ve definitely never heard of that before… how do you pick who gets to eat and who doesn’t? I can’t imagine there not being some seriously hurt feelings. I’m not saying that to be snarky towards you in any way, just… I know how sensitive people can be and I don’t have the slightest clue how I’d comb through my guestlist and make that decision without someone being upset.
Post # 13
@k.ross: I know you’re not asking for opinions about this, but I was invited to a wedding as a “dessert/dancing only” guest (after dinner,) and it definitely felt really…awkward and uncomfortable. Both on the principal “Well obviously I’m a B-list guest, so I kind of would have rather that you didn’t even invite me…” but also the awkwardness of walking into a venue where most other people were sitting at tables finishing up their dinners, and there were those of us who were B-list guests awkwardly standing around…
(I just said awkward way too many times. but that’s what it was. I’m just trying to spare the OP having her guests feel the same way.)
Post # 14
I was going to comment on this the other night but didn’t want to overstep, so I didn’t… Glad to see that you ladies did before me.
@k.ross: If this is common where you live, then go for it. Just make sure you are comfortable & confident in your decision, and I am sure it will work out fine.
THAT SAID. Last year, Mr. Bookworm’s sister got married. The bulk of the guests were invited to the ceremony/dinner/dance, and 40 or 50 additional people were invited to ONLY the dance. A lot of the “dance only” people chose not to come, and there were lots of people who were downright offended. The general concensus that I heard was that this is tacky & hurtful. My parents were actually one of these “C-list” guests & they were really hurt; they would have much rather just not been invited than to have it laid out so clearly that they were “less important” guests. It’s honestly like saying, “I don’t care about you enough to pay for your dinner, but you can bring us a gift & come for the dancing.”
To be totally honest, I think inviting them to the ceremony, sending them away for dinner, then inviting them back for the dance is even worse… What are those guests supposed to do to kill time between the ceremony & dance? I guess personally, I would rather cut my guest list down & include everyone in everything than have to disclude some people from parts of the evening.
As with everything when it comes to planning your wedding, this is a personal decision, and I’m truly not trying to snark here. I just figure it doesn’t hurt to put another perspective out there & give you some “food for thought.”
Post # 15
Is this a midwest thing? I’m pushing 30 and I think I’ve been to 15 weddings if not more at this point, and I’ve never even heard of this!!!
But yes, even if I was told it was common regionally, I can’t imagine not being hurt. I’d rather just not be invited and know the couple had to mind their budget than walk in as a B lister…
Post # 16
@mandypop: Well, maybe it is a midwest thing, but I certainly don’t think it’s common, cuz other than the occasional question on WB about something like this, that wedding was the ONLY time I’ve seen it done!