(Closed) official guest numbers… are little white lies acceptable?

posted 7 years ago in Reception
  • poll: Do we risk it and invite everyone back?
    yes, no one would know ... : (4 votes)
    8 %
    no, it will all end in tears! : (48 votes)
    92 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    4824 posts
    Honey bee

    it it only holds 120 comfortable and 150 come, your guests will not be comfortable or happy. 

    Post # 4
    Member
    1690 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    there might be some complications,  maybe the venue is only insured to hold 120,  they would not be happy if 30 extra people turn up because it might invalidate their insurance if anything bad happens. 

    Post # 5
    Member
    192 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: June 2011

    It’s most likely a health and safety/fire hazard thing … Too many people in one room = not everyone can get out in enough time if there’s a fire
    You could get in massive trouble if you violated their ‘max number’ rule :S

    Post # 6
    Member
    5977 posts
    Bee Keeper

    This is more than likely a fire hazard to have that many people in a room that doesn’t have enough exits for more than their maximum occupancy rate. I wouldn’t risk it.

    Post # 7
    Member
    3344 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: August 2010

    If you have too many people there, the coordinator might shut the whole thing down which would be a total bummer!

    Post # 8
    Member
    1020 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2010

    I don’t think 30 extra people is a “little white lie” – however, keep in mind that some of the people you invite probably won’t come… so, you have a little lee-way there.

    Out of curiosity: How are you okay with only 100 people for dinner, yet you have 150 for dancing? You’re not feeding 50 people?

    Post # 9
    Member
    762 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    I would not chance it. You want your guests to be comfortable, but on the other hand you may have some people who are not able to come. It’s a matter of going with what your gut is telling you and using your best judgement

    Post # 12
    Member
    2586 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    I’ve definitely never heard of that before…  how do you pick who gets to eat and who doesn’t?  I can’t imagine there not being some seriously hurt feelings.  I’m not saying that to be snarky towards you in any way, just… I know how sensitive people can be and I don’t have the slightest clue how I’d comb through my guestlist and make that decision without someone being upset.

    Post # 13
    Member
    4336 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    @k.ross: I know you’re not asking for opinions about this, but I was invited to a wedding as a “dessert/dancing only” guest (after dinner,) and it definitely felt really…awkward and uncomfortable. Both on the principal “Well obviously I’m a B-list guest, so I kind of would have rather that you didn’t even invite me…” but also the awkwardness of walking into a venue where most other people were sitting at tables finishing up their dinners, and there were those of us who were B-list guests awkwardly standing around…

    (I just said awkward way too many times. but that’s what it was. I’m just trying to spare the OP having her guests feel the same way.)

    Post # 14
    Member
    1111 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    I was going to comment on this the other night but didn’t want to overstep, so I didn’t…  Glad to see that you ladies did before me.  Wink

    @k.ross: If this is common where you live, then go for it.  Just make sure you are comfortable & confident in your decision, and I am sure it will work out fine.

    THAT SAID.  Last year, Mr. Bookworm’s sister got married.  The bulk of the guests were invited to the ceremony/dinner/dance, and 40 or 50 additional people were invited to ONLY the dance.  A lot of the “dance only” people chose not to come, and there were lots of people who were downright offended.  The general concensus that I heard was that this is tacky & hurtful.  My parents were actually one of these “C-list” guests & they were really hurt; they would have much rather just not been invited than to have it laid out so clearly that they were “less important” guests.  It’s honestly like saying, “I don’t care about you enough to pay for your dinner, but you can bring us a gift & come for the dancing.”

    To be totally honest, I think inviting them to the ceremony, sending them away for dinner, then inviting them back for the dance is even worse…  Frown  What are those guests supposed to do to kill time between the ceremony & dance?  I guess personally, I would rather cut my guest list down & include everyone in everything than have to disclude some people from parts of the evening.

    As with everything when it comes to planning your wedding, this is a personal decision, and I’m truly not trying to snark here.  I just figure it doesn’t hurt to put another perspective out there & give you some “food for thought.”

    Post # 15
    Member
    2586 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    @red_rose:,

    @Ms Bookworm:

    Is this a midwest thing?  I’m pushing 30 and I think I’ve been to 15 weddings if not more at this point, and I’ve never even heard of this!!!

    But yes, even if I was told it was common regionally, I can’t imagine not being hurt. I’d rather just not be invited and know the couple had to mind their budget than walk in as a B lister…

    Post # 16
    Member
    4336 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    @mandypop: Well, maybe it is a midwest thing, but I certainly don’t think it’s common, cuz other than the occasional question on WB about something like this, that wedding was the ONLY time I’ve seen it done!

    The topic ‘official guest numbers… are little white lies acceptable?’ is closed to new replies.

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