Post # 17
I feel the same way you do. I feel like most leaders in the church are men anyways, so I imagin a man as my officiant. However, it’s one of my least important wedding day peferences, so I really won’t mind either way.
This is an important and personal time for you and your fiance. If you both feel passionatley about it, go for it. Not everybody’s going to agree with you guys – on everything all the time. Somebody will always have something to say in the face of your decisions.
How many of you have a gender preference regarding your gyno? I know I do. Not that the other gender couldn’t do the job, maybe better. And I’ve had both genders. I just prefer one over the other. But make your decisions for you are your fiance based on what you both are comfortable with, you won’t be sorry.
Post # 18
No. If it were, the many women who choose to go to a woman OB/GYN over a man, or the parents who prefer hiring an older, female childcare provider would be guilty of discrimination. It is a preference based on your comfort level, and there is nothing wrong with you having a preference. If, however, you were a hiring manager in a business, and you refused to give equal considerating to applicants of both genders, you would be discriminating.
Post # 19
If you wanted a female officiant would that mean you are discriminating against men?
I don’t think so. Just go with what feels right for you.
Post # 20
Actually, it would. It’s a personal choice, though.
Post # 21
I feel it is a little discriminatory but in the end, it is your wedding and your choice. I just feel like deciding on somebody’s skills based solely on their sex wrong.
Post # 22
@Mrs Hedgehog: It
s not really the skill needed... Its a vision…
Post # 23
I think you should pick your officiant not by what gender they are but by who they are as a person. To specify that you would choose based off of gender is descrimination, just like if you were to say you would want a white officiant instead of a black one would be descrimination. Actually, I think that would cause an outright uproar, as it should.
Maybe I am just biased though. My best friends mom is a pastor (she is our officiant) and has been like another mother to me my entire life. I wouldnt have anyone else officiate in her place (but then, I am not just choosing her because she is a woman).
Post # 24
Discriminating against women being in the capacity of this nature (officiant, pastor etc…) is because it is a recent addition to society. And I feel that those who want to stick to tradition and old-fashionism is said to be discriminating. Why is that? Why do I feel like I am discriminating when throughout the centuries, thousands of years, it was a male centered environment, and that is the vision for weddings in my mind and eyes?
I just find it fascinating that I am being viewed as prejudiced against women in this way, I am not trying to be mean or anything, just want to understand why I can’t have a male because it’s my vision of what it “should” be?
Post # 25
OP, you asked and the Hive answered. It’s clear that most people don’t think you’re discriminating, so it’s nothing to get very upset about. However, I do have to say that if a company executive didn’t promote women or hire minorities because for centuries white men have been in those positions (and that just fits his vision better), we still call that discrimination. That being said, this is just a one-day job for 1 person, so you don’t have to beat yoursef up about it if it’s going to ruin your day. It’s your prerogative. You just asked the question, so that’s why I answered the way I did.
Post # 26
I don’t think anyone’s saying you can’t have a male celebrsnt but that technically ruling people out baded on gender alone is discriminating.
Post # 27
Agreed. It is discriminatory. What if you went to a doctor’s office and said “All doctors used to be male. Call me old-fashioned but I don’t want a female doctor.”
Post # 28
I know, thanks!
I am thankful for all the responses and I am not upset, I guess I just don’t think of it as discriminating… I will sleep on it… meaning think about it for a while and see why I feel that way!
Love you bees!
Post # 29
There is nothing wrong with sticking to tradition, and that in itself is not descrimination. If you want to bring up tradition and religion, though, I think you will be opening up a whole new can of worms because there are plently of old fashioned things in religion that just wouldn’t fly today. But the fact that you brought it up in the first place…if you want a male pastor then have a male pastor. Why should the gender matter though? I don’t believe you are prejudiced against all women, and think that calling you completely prejudiced in that regard would be irresponsible. However, I do think that by making a point of bringing up a specific gender and saying it is preferrable…well, you asked if you were being descriminatory. Choosing anything to be more preferrable based off of race, gender, sexual orientation, etc. is in its own way descrimination. You are not choosing based off of the underyling merit of the person, you are choosing based on what they’ve got going on in their pants.
I get where you are coming from. I like tradition too. But I also think that choosing something based off of outward appearances is descriminatory. And you asked for everyones opinions. Agree to disagree I guess?
Post # 30
Well, yes, not wanting a female officiant simply because she is female is discrimination. Doesn’t mean you hate women, doesn’t mean you’re mean, doesn’t even mean you shouldn’t go ahead and request a man if that will make you more comfortable at your wedding. But there’s no point pretending that it isn’t discrimination. And just because women have been discriminated against for centuries doesn’t mean it’s not discrimination when it happens today, seriously.
Post # 31
You can have a male if that is what you want! But basing whether you are going to use somebody solely on their gender is wrong to me. Can you do that? Absolutely! I had only male officiants. I am not saying you HAVE to have a female. I just personally feel that chosing or not chosing somebody based entirely on their gender is discrimination and wrong. Also, keep in mind, you asked our opinion on whether we think it is right or wrong.