(Closed) Officiant and gender

posted 9 years ago in Traditions
  • poll: Am I discriminating against women acting as officiant?

    Yes

    No

    Traditions are in the past, this is year 2012

  • Post # 32
    Member
    4344 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    View original reply
    @SpecialSundae:  I think you said what I was trying to say but better phrased.

    View original reply
    @happyface:  If you want to choose a male officiant just because he is male than you can do that. Its your wedding so do what you want.  Do I think its discriminating? Yes. But its your wedding so you can choose your vendors however you want to.

    Post # 34
    Member
    134 posts
    Blushing bee

    Umm hello LADIES, are we not different from men!?

    We are NOT the same, and we cannot do everything they do. So you do indeed recieve a different service from a man and a different one from a woman. No hard feelings. I work in an auto shop, naturally my customers brush right over me asking to speak to one of the guys. It’s not discrimination, they feel more comfortabe speaking to a guy about their “car issues/guy stuff”. BUT on the other hand I speak to men, and women, who LOVE that I’m a chick in the field, some love it a little too much, if you know what I’m saying! :X 

    Skin color however, does not affect an individuals feminity/maculinity.

    So this topic depends on your comfort with a man or a woman for a particular service. I am def. going to feel different around a man with certain things, and feel completely different around a woman for the same thing, and in some instances feel the same.

    * I think discrimination entails having a negative attiude towards someone because of a sterotypical attitude, not choosing somebody because of personal level of comfort for a service. I might be wrong, by I thought I’d mention it.

     

    Post # 35
    Hostess
    3366 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    I was pretty strict about having a guy, but a friend of a friend happens to be an officiant and she is INCREDIBLE! I think Fiance feels a lot better with her as opposed to a man. She actually got him excited about our wedding and now he wants to know all of the details! I don’t know what kind of magic she pulled, but I want to know what it was. 

    Post # 36
    Member
    175 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    View original reply
    @jeza_s:  Yes, women and men are different…but that does not mean a woman can’t perform most of the same tasks equally as well as men (yes, i agree there are limitations regarding strength, but those do not affect an officiant’s duties). Of course, women may give a different wedding service than men, and that is perfectly fine, but to imply one is better based on gender is discrimination. 

    Also, I would be offended if I was ignored at my job because of a socially constructed norm. Who cares if the stereotype of a car mechanic is a male…there could be a woman that knows cars better than any man. It will always be the norm unless someone decides it needs to change.

    And skin color was mentioned because it is another topic where descrimination is relevant. Women throughout history have been oppressed, just as people of different skin colors have. Just because people do it, doesnt make it right.

    Post # 37
    Member
    134 posts
    Blushing bee

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    @Maggie89:  I understand where your coming from.

    I thought the original post was in reference to her level of comfort with a man though. Thats why I’ve chosen to respond as I did. If it were a matter of feeling a man could do better based on the fact he’s a man, I could better see everybody’s perspective.

    Either way, agree to disagree?

     

    Post # 38
    Member
    870 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2010

    I’m kind of curious about those who mentioned not disciminating against an officiant because of their outward appearance.  At least in my situation, it has nothing to do with the different ways a man and woman would look standing up there between me and DH.  Am I missing something?

    Post # 39
    Member
    10627 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: January 2011

    If you prefer a man, I think that’s ok.  You may be discriminating, but that’s not always a negative thing.

    I’m curious though, what you consider to be recent?  In Christianity, women have been ministers for over 100 years in denominations that I’ve aware of, and have held leadership positions in other religions for longer.

    Post # 40
    Member
    2695 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    Yes, I think so, but do what you gotta do.

    Post # 41
    Member
    2695 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    View original reply
    @jeza_s:  I work in an auto shop, naturally my customers brush right over me asking to speak to one of the guys. It’s not discrimination, they feel more comfortabe speaking to a guy about their “car issues/guy stuff”

    Discrimination is exactly what that is. It may not be hostile or meant in anger, but it comes from prejudice and is discriminatory.

    @Kitquist +1

    Post # 42
    Member
    4410 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: December 2010 - Savannah, GA

    Yes and no.  To select someone based on their gender is discrimination.  Of course, to some extent, no matter what choice you make, there is discrimination in any choice you make. 

    My dog was one of three puppies. She was the only girl, so I chose her… I discrimated against the other two.

    My DH was one of three men who were asking me out at the time we started dating. I chose to go with him, because I was most attracted to him… I discriminated against the other two guys.

    My OB/GYN is a woman, and I chose her because I’m more comfortable talking about menopause and my period with a woman. I discriminated against all the other male OB/GYNs I could have chosen.

    When I found my car, there were three other VW New Beetles on the lot. I thought the yellow one was the prettiest, so that’s what I bought.  I discriminated against the red one, the black one and the silver one.

    Whenever you select one option over another, you are discriminating against the other choices in one way or another. 

    Post # 43
    Member
    462 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: November 2012

    I’m kind of old fashioned and want a male officiant too.

    Post # 45
    Member
    750 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    I don’t know if it’s discriminatory or not… I personally want a female, so I guess I’m on the other end of the spectrum lol so be it!

    Post # 46
    Member
    2695 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    View original reply
    @happyface:  Well, barbers aren’t trained to cut hair the same as hairdressers, so thats one reason…

    The topic ‘Officiant and gender’ is closed to new replies.

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