(Closed) Officiant and gender

posted 9 years ago in Traditions
  • poll: Am I discriminating against women acting as officiant?
    Yes : (45 votes)
    32 %
    No : (59 votes)
    42 %
    Traditions are in the past, this is year 2012 : (38 votes)
    27 %
  • Post # 48
    705 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    As long as you’re not saying “Women shouldn’t be officiants/priests/whatever” you’re ok.  This isn’t hiring for a big company, this is hiring a private contractor for something very personal.  Technically it is discrimination because you’re discriminating between two groups, but it’s not something bad, it’s just how you feel and what you want and it’s ok.


    For example I prefer my GYN to be a male.  It’s weird for me to have a woman down there and I just feel more comfortable with a male GYN.  I don’t think that women should not be GYNs, I wouldn’t freak out if I had an emergency and ended up with a female GYN, I just have a preference and hire accordingly. 

    Post # 49
    744 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: December 2012

    View original reply
    @happyface:  You are the one who brought the idea of discrimination into the picture. Why did you bother asking if you didn’t want honesty? You could have just gotten your male officiant and been done with it. Don’t get upset because people don’t agree with you.

    That said, I’ve officiated several weddings and I’m a woman. I guess it really depends on your viewpoint. Personally, my thought on choosing an officiant is that I want someone we will click with, who gets us, and who stands for the things we do. It’s my opinion that not considering someone solely on their gender is discrimination. 

    But I’m also of the opinion that people are not accessories. I’d never pick an officiant solely based on their gender, race, hair color, or any other physical indicator. But do what you want to do. Listen to people or don’t. Again, you’re the one who made the poll asking if you were being discriminatory. 

    Post # 50
    531 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    I seriously thought I was the only one! I really want a male as my officient. I have nothing against women (being one, obviously) but it just is important to me to stick with tradition here! 

    Post # 51
    159 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: April 2013

    Hmm I never really thought about this. I guess I would be fine with either, but I don’t think it’s that big of a deal if you prefer one gender over the other.

    Post # 52
    1343 posts
    Bumble bee

    We had a woman and it was just fine! : )

    Post # 53
    365 posts
    Helper bee

    Yes, it’s discrimination. You have to decide if you’re comfortable with that, but there’s no way around the fact that you are discriminating. You want an officiant who has a penis.

    It may not be illegal discrimination, but it is discrimination.

    Post # 54
    365 posts
    Helper bee

    View original reply
    @jeza_s:  We are NOT the same, and we cannot do everything they do. So you do indeed recieve a different service from a man and a different one from a woman.

    I take great offense at this. Just about the only things a man is inherently better than me at are getting women pregnant, running without a sports bra, and peeing standing up. Last I checked, neither fixing cars nor officiating a wedding involve any of those things.

    Post # 55
    2521 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: December 2012

    I like female puppies better than male puppies.
    I think male cardinals (the bird) are more beautiful than female ones.
    Sometimes I think males are emotionally hollow individuals with the hearts of ants (meaning small).
    Sometimes I think females are manipulative individuals that are extremely catty.
    I prefer a male officiant for my wedding because that’s what my vision is.

    Do I hate either gender?

    Post # 56
    963 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2011

    Who cares if some people consider it discrimination?!? This is your wedding and your vision, you deserve to incorporate your personal preferences into your day.

    If you want a male officiant then have one. Don’t worry about what other people think, just plan the wedding that you want.

    Post # 57
    343 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    “Vision”, to me, does not mean it isn’t discriminatory. In fact, I think it’s more so because there’s no real reason behind why you seem to want a man – it is, to put it bluntly, a prejudice based on nothing more than a feeling. I have particularly strong feelings about this because my mum is a priest (she was the officiant at my traditional English church wedding) and she does a whole lot of a better job than the male priest who is the vicar of the church.

    Just my view Wink

    Post # 58
    70 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    View original reply
    @starrynight:  “and sometimes I feel like people pick women officiants to make a political point)”


    Maybe that was true in like 1972? There are so many female officiants that it can hardly be seen as a political point. I’ve only ever been to one wedding with a male officiant, so I don’t bat an eye either way.

    Post # 59
    509 posts
    Busy bee

    View original reply
    @happyface:  It’s not that women are becoming more popular in religious circles, it’s that women have been discriminated against and excluded….by men.

    I understand that you’re more familiar, or comfortable, with a man officiating but are you discriminating against women officiants? Yes.  Am I judging you for it? Nope.

    The topic ‘Officiant and gender’ is closed to new replies.

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