Post # 1
Member
394 posts
Helper bee
Our officiant asked us if he can be excused from the rehearsal. I’m really not sure how I feel about this. He said that if there is going to be someone there who is organizing the logistics and telling the bridal party where to go, then he doesn’t really have to do anything and there’s no particular reason why he would have to be there.
I am assuming that our maitre d’ will be the person in charge of arranging the logistics of the ceremony and telling everyone where to go, but I have to confirm this with my venue.
He also does have a significant drive to the venue, about an hour and a half, so I understand why he would not want to attend.
But at the same time…. the OFFICIANT not being at the rehearsal???? Sure, maybe he knows exactly what to do for the ceremony because he’s done it a hundred times, but none of us know!!!
Thoughts on this?
Post # 2
Member
1467 posts
Bumble bee
dreamr12: are you sure he didn’t mean the rehearsal dinner?
Post # 3
Member
984 posts
Busy bee
Is your rehearsal the day before your wedding, and if so, can you provide him with a hotel room for that night so that he doesn’t have to travel back and forth?
Post # 5
Member
7365 posts
Busy Beekeeper
Was there a contract that you stated that him attending was a requirement? Does his fee include this?
Post # 6
Member
7887 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
I thought the officiant was an integral part in figuring out how the ceremony would go. Can you skype him into the rehearsal? If it’s really far out for him, perhaps you could pay him for mileage.
Post # 7
Member
860 posts
Busy bee
Of all the weddings I’ve been part of the officiant has never been part of the rehearsal without an additional fee.
Post # 8
Member
47430 posts
Honey Beekeeper
dreamr12: Don’t assume anything. Contact the venue. If there is someone there who is familiar with the logistics of the ceremony, then you will be fine.
Have you had a run through of the ceremony with your officiant, so you know what to say and when?
Post # 9
Member
2129 posts
Buzzing bee
2monthweddingplanner: I’m so glad you chimed in….The officiant I think we’re going with charges an additional fee for rehearsal…so we will not see him until the ceremony lol
Post # 10
Member
174 posts
Blushing bee
I highly recommend a run through with the officiant. Sometimes it’s just as much to their benefit too. Our officiant didn’t even show up to the rehearsal the day before. We confirmed with him the day prior, and called him after a half hour of waiting and he said he was on his way to perform another wedding. When we PAID him for a rehearsal. As a result, he completely skipped my sister’s reading (I had to remind him while we’re standing at the damn altar), forgot parts of our hand binding blessing, and said a prayer, when we had previously discussed I wished to have a non religious ceremony.
Post # 11
Member
4017 posts
Honey bee
We had two priests officiate our wedding, and the one who was acting as the head officiant couldn’t make our rehearsal because he had two rehearsals he had to be at in one day. My family has a very good relationship with this particular priest (he’s married everyone in my family), and even though it made me a little uncomfortable I felt that it would work itself out. He left a very detailed list of the order of events for the other priest, so that helped alleviate some of my fears. I think as long as he is in contact with the person acting in his place that night then it should be fine.
Post # 12
Member
715 posts
Busy bee
Where I live it’s a legal requirements to offer a rehearsal if wanted. I’d tell him no, your sorry but you’d really feel more comfortable with him there.
Now I chose to not have a rehearsal so he drafted a script and emailed it to us edited when asked and sent the final version so I knew it would be fine. So maybe you could ask for a similar service.
Post # 13
Member
900 posts
Busy bee
Officiant doesn’t have to be apart the rehearsal. In fact they usually charge extra.
Post # 14
Member
543 posts
Busy bee
Sorry but no I would not be ok with this. An Officiant needs to be there.
The rehersal is included as part of the fee I’ve paid.
Post # 15
Member
9388 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
dreamr12: a good chunk of what you’re paying him for includes travel and leading the rehearsal. If he isn’t providing that service, he better refund you a huge portion of his fees–I’d personally ask for 175 of the 450 fee back if my officiant tried that, since she charges 275 for “small weddings”.