(Closed) officiant etiquette?

posted 9 years ago in Ceremony
Post # 3
635 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Be up front when you ask him.  Say, "It would be such an honor for you to officiate at our wedding – of course, we’d cover your travel expenses, and we want you to come to the reception!"  Being very clear that you’re going to offer him up front, and then, possibly giving a small gift or card before or after the ceremony.

Post # 4
2681 posts
Sugar bee

I agree with Gilneas.  A small gift would be nice if he doesnt accept travel or a room. 

Post # 5
2344 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I think Gilneas has it right. Let him know up front you would like to pay for his travel & accomodations, and give him a modest but thoughtful gift after. If he insists on covering his own expenses, I would make his gift more generous – maybe $100 to a nice restaurant for him & his wife.

Post # 6
508 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

Definitely offer to cover travel costs if it works in your budget.  Some elected officials are prevented from accepting gifts or compensation of certain types, so he may not be able to accept.

Post # 7
963 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2009 - Bernardo Winery

I agree we/ the others… We’re having a friend (who is a pastor) officiate our ceremony and I wish I had said from the get go what we would do b/c now we’re in the awkward position of figuring out w/ a month to go.

Post # 9
169 posts
Blushing bee

I would say, inviting him to the reception is sufficient and then maybe an envelope with like $100-200 in it. Also, if he is travelling more than 50 miles you should pay for his flight and hotel; but at that rate it maybe better for you to hire someone local?

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