- Miss Smallville
- 10 years ago
- Wedding: September 2010
If you haven’t read my earlier post (http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/the-ceremony-officiant-from-hell) go right ahead. I figured i’d share what happened with my lovely and arrogant officiant on the day of the wedding.
Being a nervous, twitchy bride, I’d given everyone the details of the day the night before, and requested the morning of the wedding that I not be told if anythings wrong. If there’s a problem, fix it. Don’t bring it to my attention, because that would only freak me out.
I had a feeling something was wrong as we were all getting ready fo rthe ceremony in the bride’s room at the venue. I could see it in everyone’s faces, but I wasnt sure what it was, nor did i care to know.
Lance Orndorff, my officiant, had already arrived to say hello, and then left to direct the guests to the back and outside where the ceremony was being held. Now given my previous interaction with Lance about the ceremony, I expected there to be a bit of awkwardness. There was, on my side, but he seemed not to remember that exchange at all.
Well, about 30 minutes later, as all my brides maids were getting stuff together and my mom was putting my veil on me, the door to my room swings wide open and Lance storms through the door.
“You all are KILLING ME here! The bride’s father is thirty minutes away? Are you kidding me with this?!”
and yes… this is how i found out my dad was late…
Now, i look at everyone, and mind you, i had NO IDEA my dad was late until then. My stomach dropped, but given my exchanges with Lance, I wasnt surprised by his little diva attitude. No one answered. Everyone was quiet. “Well, if he’s stuck in traffic, not much we can do.” My tone was a bit defensive.
and then he went on…
“YOu realize i have another event after this one. I’ll have to cut this ceremony short!” *insert dramatic paus where he pinches the bridge of his nose.*
He then turns to my mom and mutters “You can yell at your husband when he gets here.”
So i stand there quietly as everyone gets ready. No one is telling me anything and I’m not speaking. I think to myself… do i want to let this man ruin my day? So yes, obviously its given a shaky start, but did i really deserve gettin gyeled at
As his client, I expected him to try to calm me down… not bring me more stress! it was something beyond my control! My father, i found out later, was late because he couldn’t find his tie and then got caught in traffic. It wasn’t in my control at all! why bring it to my attention and yell at me about it? And right before I walk down the aisle? are YOU kidding me about this?
A Bridesmaid or Best Man and good friend asked me privately if i had someone else i’d liek to marry us, in hopes that i’d want to ask him to leave. He was stressing out the whole bridal party, and not just me.
So I start to think rationally. What could i cut from the ceremony that wont hurt it? I tell a bridesmaid “Pls go tell Lance he can cut the Responsorial Psalm, Gospel and Homily out. that should help.”
As I thought it over in the 20 min that i waited for my father to walk me down the aisle with my mom, i realized i couldnt be mad at my dad.. no matter how disappointed i was that he was late… that nothing could be worse than this Officiant. I had to realize that his rudeness and so called “professionalism” was not going to ruin my day nor was anything else that was wrong.
My father walked up to me, and my bridesmaids and mom watched to see if i’d yell at him.
“I’m so sorry,” my dad said.
My answer “i love you, dad. thanks for showing up. Now let’s do this.”
The ceremony went better than expected. Though it was cut short, he actually did a good job entertaining the crowd and keeping it light and funny. if you didnt know of his outburst, you woud probably think he was awesome. However, i finally found out what happened behind the scenes the next day.
Remember the Bridesmaid or Best Man who I asked go to Lance to tell hm wehre i’d like to cut the ceremony? Apparently his response after that to my Bridesmaid or Best Man was.
“I know what I need to do. I’ve done thousands of weddings before, so you dont need to tell me. But do you realize that you’re asking me to do a 40 minute ceremony in twenty minutes? Do you guys realize that? Do you?!”
Of course, she didnt go back to me to tell me that was his response. I found out a day later.
Apparently to my inlaws and Mr. Smallville, he gave off the “I’ve got somewhere else I need to be” vibe. And he was sighing and groaning and asking
“Are you serious? Is he really 30 minutes away?”
My mother in law was asking Mr. Smallvile if we’d need a person to marry us, just because Lance looked liek he was about to walk out.
Thats when Lance said “Well let me go talk to her right now…” and thats when he came storming into my room with the wonderful news right before the most important moment of my life.
Anyway, I checked his reviews on wedding wire. He has 21 reviews, where 2 or 3 were bad. The rest loved him. But I also saw that he responded to the bad reviews, lashing out in a harsh way. He would say he worries about the future of some brides, because they’re so negative. It “concerns” him that they would bring that into their marriage. He seems not to take criticism very well. I’d like to write an honest review about him, but I jsut dont know if i should, knowing now how he operates.
What do you guys think?