(Closed) Officiant from Hell, Part 2: Do I write an honest review?

posted 9 years ago in Ceremony
Post # 17
Member
491 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Wow I am SO SORRY you had to deal with this!  There was one thing I could NOT stand the most through the whole planning process: when a vendor would treat me with a condescending tone because they “know better” and I shouldn’t be worrying about it.  Well, good for them that they have worked 2000 weddings and have plenty of experience, but I (and YOU) don’t!  You sound a lot like me in that if you don’t know all the details of a new experience (like the rehearsal) then it stresses you out.  I, too, like to be prepared so I definitely feel you!  Having so much experience he should be sensitive to brides who are like that!  Also, I think it’s a big red flag for any officiant to say they don’t attend rehearsals.  Hello, aren’t officiants supposed to RUN the rehearsal??  Also, why would be book back to back weddings like that?  How unprofessional!  Given his “experience” he keeps boasting about, has he never had a wedding run late before? 

Post # 18
Member
4122 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I think you should write an honest review, but I’ll be honest, I wouldn’t post it the way you presented it here. I would stick to the facts, short and precise. “Mr. Lance seems more preoccupied by the number of weddings he preforms. Any questions I had for him was met with attitude about his number of weddings and his knowing what to do. When my father ran behind he was more concerned about his schedule because he seems to book so many brides so close together. We were met with a lot of un-needed stress and unprofessional behavior on his part, so much so, my wedding party tried to locate another offiaciant mere minutes before the ceremony.”

Here’s my biggest concern. You say you choose him because he had a filipino Catholic wedding sample and refer to the “gospel and homily.” He has no authority to do or present a faux Catholic wedding. While I realize you state you had a smaller “real” catholic ceremony… there isn’t a “show” one to do with a un-ordained minister of the church. Then again, maybe I’m misunderstanding you, as sometimes written word can be mis-understood.

On that note, while a bit over the top, I didn’t think the emails were “OMG SO HORRENDOUS, HOW DARE HE!” The biggest issues to me are that he seems to no longer see clients as individuals but time slots in his packed day. I would focus your review on the issues and leave out the banter.

Post # 19
Member
101 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

He is so wrong!  and having a personality like that, I don’t understand how he can be a respectable priest..

Post # 20
Member
359 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

Please write an honest review – you are being very fair since you explaining in a very fair way. Your dad was very late, that clearly wont make an officiant happy, but there is no excuse for the way this officiant responded. 

And honestly, the response about not needing rehearsal…Sure, he’s dont plenty of weddings, but not your personal ceremony and he really should have been there to guide everyone else through rehearsal. Then the way he treated you and threw a fit on your wedding day…this is really unacceptable and every bride who goes to the review boards will appreciate your honesty. Knowing the good and the bad (especially specific, detailed stories like yours) is key to why the review boards are so useful!

If he responds to the review in a harsh, catty way – then the review becomes that much more powerful by having one more example of how this officiant’s behavior is completely ridiculous. Just be sure you don’t take his response personally – you’ve been completely reasonable throughout everything you’ve posted about dealing with this officiant.

Post # 21
Member
4122 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

@dada: He’s NOT a priest. Hence the concern of my second paragraph. He’s an independent officiant (LAY) and it sounds like he “performs” Catholic ceremonies. 

Post # 22
Member
1893 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

Write the review.  As someone currently searching for vendors, I highly depend on reviews by other brides and won’t hire someone that doens’t have at least some reviews.   It sounds like this guy is forgetting that the wedding isn’t about HIM, it’s about you and your Fiance. 

So happy I’m having a family member perform our ceremony!!

Post # 23
Member
10363 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

I think you should definitely write an honest review. Him lashing out in that manner towards the reviewers only serves to further prove your point. People have to know if you’ve had a negative experience – it’s the only way other brides have of figuring out who to hire!!

Post # 25
Member
9028 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

Honest reviews are important so that other brides can be warned. He sounds he really just stepped out from hell… what a nightmare 

Post # 27
Member
875 posts
Busy bee

This guy doesn’t sound like a reputable person.  A good minister is not going to have a mock ceremony of another church.  Having a minister who is from another denomination do a ceremony may have some parts that remind you of other branches of the Christian faith ceremonies, but a good minister is going to think that all of the sections of the wedding ceremony are important.  The fact that he was having a complete fit that there was an issue with the timing, because he had scheduled another event too quickly and actually choose to skip parts because his time was more important that the time spent in worship are major indications that this guy has major issues!

Post # 28
Member
491 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I have a few edits for you, I hope this helps!  use them or don’t, it’s up to you but I felt like some things were a little wordy or could be worded better.  

Mr Lance was a joy to meet on a snowy day at starbucks. My fiancé and I thought he was great and seemed to really like him. However, things changed as we got closer to the wedding date.

Mr. Lance needs to consider the tone he takes with his clients. He seems more preoccupied by the number of weddings he performs then the fact that it’s someone’s special day. Any questions I had for him prior to the wedding and rehearsal was met with attitude (about his number of weddings and his knowing what to do.) supposedly justified by the vast number of weddings he has performed and a condescending tone which he justified by his “experience”. When my father ran (behind) late for the wedding itself, Lance was more concerned about his schedule than helping make an already stressful situation less stressful.  He was the major cause of any stress rather than a source of relief.  He burst into the bridal waiting room literally yelling at me about my father.  This is not a professional or kind way to treat a client at such a special moment in her life.  (because) He seems to book (so many events so) weddings much too close together, not allowing for the wiggle room that an “experienced” officiant would know you need to have. We were met with a lot of un-needed stress, negativity, and unprofessional behavior on his part, (so much so) that my wedding party tried to locate another officiant mere minutes before the ceremony. 

I will give him one big thing: The ceremony went better than expected. Though it was cut short because of (my father) his poor time management, Lance actually did a good job condensing the ceremony. He entertained the crowd, keeping it light and funny. The ceremony was a success, regardless of his attitude behind the scenes. If you weren’t aware of his negative attitude or stress-inducing outburst towards me and my bridal party (mere moments before I walked down the aisle about) regarding my father’s tardiness, you would probably think he was awesome.

Post # 29
Member
491 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

p.s. i had originally put a strike through the parts that i would delete, following them with my edits in bold, but the strike throughs did not show up once my comment was posted.  so i went back and put parentheses around those parts that i re-wrote instead.  i hope that it’s easy enough to decipher 🙂  good luck!  

Post # 30
Member
2373 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2008

As a vendor myself his behavior is inappropiate. My pet peeve are people who over book themselves in one day/weekend.

  Writing honest reviews suck, but they need to be written. I just moved to VA and was looking for a new vet- I read reviews for a clinic off yelp that were VERY positive. When I got to my appointment the clinic was dirty, I waited almost two hours to have an ear infection treated in my cat who frequently gets them (he has polyps), and they charged me over 200 dollars (!!. At my old vet it was 30-70 tops). The test the vet ran has been run a million times and I brought his medical records with me for her to see. I can’t believer five people gave this place stellar reviews.. the place was disgusting. If someone would have written an honest review (or I would have checked google reviews) it would have stopped me from wasting so much money. Save someone else and put yourself out there.

 

Post # 31
Member
2588 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

I decided to correct a few basic errors I noticed. 

Mr Lance was a joy to meet on a snowy day at starbucks. My fiancé and I thought he was great and seemed to really like him. However, things changed as we got closer to the wedding date.

Mr. Lance needs to consider the tone he takes with his clients. He seems more preoccupied by the number of weddings he performs than the fact that it’s someone’s special day. Any questions I had for him prior to the wedding and rehearsal was met with attitude (about his number of weddings and his knowing what to do.) supposedly justified by the vast number of weddings he has performed and a condescending tone which he justified by his “experience.” When my father ran (behind) late for the wedding itself, Lance was more concerned about his schedule than helping make an already stressful situation less stressful.  He was the major cause of any stress rather than a source of relief.  He burst into the bridal waiting room literally yelling at me about my father.  This is not a professional or kind way to treat a client at such a special moment in her life.  (because) He seems to book  weddings much too close together, not allowing for the wiggle room that an “experienced” officiant would know you need to have. We were met with a lot of un-needed stress, negativity, and unprofessional behavior on his part, (so much so) that my wedding party tried to locate another officiant mere minutes before the ceremony. 

I will give him one big thing: The ceremony went better than expected. Though it was cut short because of (my father) his poor time management, Lance actually did a good job condensing the ceremony. He entertained the crowd, keeping it light and funny. The ceremony was a success, regardless of his attitude behind the scenes. If you weren’t aware of his negative attitude or stress-inducing outburst towards my bridal party and I (mere moments before I walked down the aisle about) regarding my father’s tardiness, you would probably think he was awesome.

Other than those few little things, I think it’s a pretty solid review. 🙂

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