Post # 1
So neither my fiance nor I am religious and we are imagining that our ceremony will be 5-10 minutes tops. But obviously we have to have a justice of the peace to make it official. Most of my friends haven’t had religious ceremonies either, but I always noticed that their ceremonies were far more meaningful when they were married by someone they knew.
So back to our dilemma. It turns out that my fiance’s family friend, someone who lived across the street from him during childhood, is a justice of the peace. But here’s the catch, he’s pretty inarticulate, talks quietly and is likely to cry a lot during the ceremony. I like the idea that we know him! Just not sure about the other stuff. Thoughts?
Post # 3
Sounds fine, its a once and a lifetime thing 🙂 Unless you are extremely offended by intricacy and emotion, in which case- use someone more objective.
Post # 4
I don’t know about intricacy, he’s a man of few words. And I don’t mind emotion, I’m just concerned that he wouldn’t be able to get through the things that he needs to say because he’d be crying so much. Like he’d literally be choked up! Both fiance and I agreed this was a possibility.
Post # 5
If your main concern is being married by someone you know, then you should pick the person you trust the most and get them certified as a reverend in the Universal Life Church.
Our officiant is my best friend and MOH’s father. Because my Maid/Matron of Honor and I became friends in the first grade, I’ve known him practically my whole life. His values and beliefs match ours. His marriage is wonderful and warm, and one we’d like to emulate. He’s the perfect pick for the person who will usher us into married life. However, he’s neither a JOP or a clergyman. That’s where the ULC comes in! How do you become a reverend? Go to the website and sign up. Want a printed credential? Ten bucks.
The “church” was basically founded to preserve religious freedom. Or for stuff like this, so that non-religious folk could avoid going to a stranger to get married.
Post # 6
@sarasouth:Perfect! Thank you so much, I will look into that.
Post # 7
If you would rather have someone who delivers well.. you can make it personal by writing your own wedding program. I wrote everything they were to say and it all meant so much to me!
Post # 8
@vermontia: You could also check out Vt’s temporary officiant application. We’re having my fiance’s aunt officiate our ceremony as we thought it’d be more meaningful than finding a justice of the peace through a google search.
Post # 9
Most officiants/JOP will at one point or another get emotional if they like the couple. The quiet and soft spoken part of your Fiance friend gives a intimate quality to the ceremony. Hook a lapel mic to him and turn the speakers up a decent amount. Use his true sweet feelings for the moment in a positive way. Use soft lighting and a romantic glow of candles to set the ceremony so he can give you a one of a kind wedding ceremony from the heart.
Make him write the ceremony down and rehearse it. He will not fail you, he loves you and your Fiance. Make sure a hidden box of tissues is next to him, just in case they are needed.
That is just my opinion.
Post # 10
@vermontia: yuck. if they start crying–it becomes about them! then you and your husband will have to take two seconds and comfort him with your eyes or something. itll take attention away from your marriage ceremony.