(Closed) Officiant invited to the wedding???

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
595 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2015

@SparkleBaby:  Our officiant is a friend, so we invited him. If they invited themselves that is weird.

Post # 4
Member
584 posts
Busy bee

I think it’s good etiquette to invite the officiant to the reception.  We’re inviting ours, but it’s a DW and he’s a family friend from way back in my FI’s family history.  I think it’s just nice to celebrate with the person who is making it so you can be Mr. & Mrs.!

Post # 5
Member
1418 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

…you’re paying them to officiate the wedding and now you have to pay for them to stay a few more hours and party with strangers? No way, weird to me, unless the officiant is a friend who would have been invited anyway!

Post # 6
Member
7908 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort

You are supposed to invite the officiant (and spouse) to the rehearsal dinner and wedding reception, but they almost universally decline unless they are really close to the family. It’s really just a courtesy.

Post # 7
Member
2494 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

@BookishBelle:  our officiant is a friend, so we invited him. My fi was married before and I am fairly sure that she wasn’t invited. That being said, considering they are a key part of the day, I would invite them as to not have an ‘i forgot to show up disaster.

Post # 8
Member
786 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

We invited our officiant (our Rabbi) but we (and my family) have a relationship with him so he wasn’t just like a ‘hired-for-the-day’ officiant. And while it is a very nice gesture to invite the officiant and many people do, its very weird for an officiant to just invite him or herself.

Post # 9
Member
786 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

@mrsSonthebeach:  I have never heard of an officiant being invited to the rehearsal dinner (unless its a friend who would’ve been coming anyways). There are already over 80 people coming to our rehearsal dinner and at about 120.00 per person just for the rehearsal, I didn’t feel any obligation to invite our officiant.

Post # 10
Member
1190 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

We invited ours but he did decline. 

Post # 11
Member
3302 posts
Sugar bee

I am moving ours but I think he is going to decline as he has a church to run.

Post # 12
Member
128 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I wasn’t sure what the etiquette was but I invited ours out of courtesy. She did decline politely but did say she would stick around for a glass of wine after the ceremony to mingle but that’s it.

Post # 13
Member
403 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

@RhubarbPie:  +1 (right down to the rabbi). 😉

Post # 14
Member
1375 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@mrsSonthebeach:  Precisely this.  My father is a pastor and is paid for his services.  If he knows the couple relatively well, he does go to the reception, otherwise he declines.

Post # 15
Member
5080 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2012

we invited ours but he declined.  He said he accepted once and the bride and groom spent their time worrying about him having fun.  He said he never wanted to do that again – it’s their day, not his  

Post # 16
Member
230 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

We’re inviting ours to both the rehearsal dinner and the receptions. He said he likes to attend rehearsal dinners to get to know our families before our wedding. But he won’t be coming to the reception since he has a full day of mass the next day.

 

I’ve always heard that you’re supposed to invite the officiant but that they usually decline.

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