Post # 1
So i am curious about the ettiquette that surrounds officiants. My cousin is getting married in Oct and the venue suggested an officiant. She called and spoke to him to set everything up. My mother told me that the officiant told my cousin that he and his wife would be attending the reception. Is this normal? She didn’t invite him to the reception & she is paying him to officiate the wedding…. Does anyone else think there is something strange about this?
Post # 3
@SparkleBaby: Our officiant is a friend, so we invited him. If they invited themselves that is weird.
Post # 4
I think it’s good etiquette to invite the officiant to the reception. We’re inviting ours, but it’s a Destination Wedding and he’s a family friend from way back in my FI’s family history. I think it’s just nice to celebrate with the person who is making it so you can be Mr. & Mrs.!
Post # 5
…you’re paying them to officiate the wedding and now you have to pay for them to stay a few more hours and party with strangers? No way, weird to me, unless the officiant is a friend who would have been invited anyway!
Post # 6
- Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort
You are supposed to invite the officiant (and spouse) to the rehearsal dinner and wedding reception, but they almost universally decline unless they are really close to the family. It’s really just a courtesy.
Post # 7
@BookishBelle: our officiant is a friend, so we invited him. My fi was married before and I am fairly sure that she wasn’t invited. That being said, considering they are a key part of the day, I would invite them as to not have an ‘i forgot to show up disaster.
Post # 8
We invited our officiant (our Rabbi) but we (and my family) have a relationship with him so he wasn’t just like a ‘hired-for-the-day’ officiant. And while it is a very nice gesture to invite the officiant and many people do, its very weird for an officiant to just invite him or herself.
Post # 9
@mrsSonthebeach: I have never heard of an officiant being invited to the rehearsal dinner (unless its a friend who would’ve been coming anyways). There are already over 80 people coming to our rehearsal dinner and at about 120.00 per person just for the rehearsal, I didn’t feel any obligation to invite our officiant.
Post # 10
We invited ours but he did decline.
Post # 11
I am moving ours but I think he is going to decline as he has a church to run.
Post # 12
I wasn’t sure what the etiquette was but I invited ours out of courtesy. She did decline politely but did say she would stick around for a glass of wine after the ceremony to mingle but that’s it.
Post # 13
@RhubarbPie: +1 (right down to the rabbi). 😉
Post # 14
@mrsSonthebeach: Precisely this. My father is a pastor and is paid for his services. If he knows the couple relatively well, he does go to the reception, otherwise he declines.
Post # 15
we invited ours but he declined. He said he accepted once and the bride and groom spent their time worrying about him having fun. He said he never wanted to do that again – it’s their day, not his
Post # 16
We’re inviting ours to both the rehearsal dinner and the receptions. He said he likes to attend rehearsal dinners to get to know our families before our wedding. But he won’t be coming to the reception since he has a full day of mass the next day.
I’ve always heard that you’re supposed to invite the officiant but that they usually decline.