Post # 1
My fiance and I are both catholic but non-practicing. We decided that we would get married at our venue instead of a church just because it would be much easier on our out of town guests and mainly because neither of us are overly religious.
I have not even began to search for an officiant yet and I’m not sure I know how! How does it work? Does it have to be a catholic priest? Do catholic priests even marry people outside of a church?? Does it even HAVE to be a catholic priest in particular or can it be a reverand? Would we have to do that ‘pre-cana’ stuff?
Thanks for the help bees!
Post # 3
@andreatote: Not catholic, but from experiences I’ve heard of, it would be more difficult (not impossible) to find a catholic priest who would marry you outside of the church.
Post # 4
@andreatote: I’m not sure I understand your question. Does it have to be a Catholic priest because you’re Catholic? Well, no. But to have a Catholic ceremony, yes. And they typically won’t marry anyone outside a Catholic church.
Post # 5
A Catholic priest will not marry you outside of a church unless you have a super extreme circumstance like one of you cannot leave the hospital or something. They won’t do it just because you don’t want to get married in a church, because in their eyes that is the proper place to do it and where you should want to be married. So if another officiant who is not a priest marries you, which would have to be the case, you would not have to do pre-cana.
Post # 6
Adding on, if neither of you are committed to a faith, I would look into using a Justice of the Peace. Most religious officiants would probably expect you to be part of their church and congregation. Then again, my brother and SIL found someone, but it was a BEAR! Good luck!
Post # 7
If you want to get married in a Catholic church, you have to do the pre-cana. If neither of you is a practicing Catholic, it’s not a good idea to have a Catholic wedding; you’d basically have to pretend to be Catholic and believe in Catholicism and promise to raise your kids Catholic and donate 1/10th of the wedding cost to them and get married in a church.
If you go back to Catholicism later, you can get what is called a convalidation, which will put your marriage in good standing in the eyes of the Church; until then, you’ll be considered to be living in sin if you both believe in Catholicism because you didn’t actually receive the sacrament of marriage and any form of sexual activity would be considered extra-marital sex.
TLDR version is that if you’re not Catholic, you can easily find someone who can give you a ceremony (even a spiritual, God-oriented ceremony) and it will be beautiful. If you are Catholic, you will technically be living in sin if you don’t go the church route (unless you wait until the marriage is convalidated before you engage in certain activities) and shouldn’t take communion if you go to Mass without having gone to confession.