(Closed) Officiant upset about contract, did you get a contract?

posted 6 years ago in Ceremony
Post # 46
4835 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

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candg4ever:  Contract or not, don’t have this man marry you.  He sounds like a total a**

I don’t know if having a contract is normal, but even if it’s not, this rev did not respond to your request in a patient, loving, or helpful way.  He has given you an out to find someone more suitable.  I suggest you take it and find a celebrant who actually seems HAPPY to perform your ceremony and not like he’s doing your a favor.

Post # 47
10286 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2015

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candg4ever:  one of the things life has taught me is that contracts serve the purpose of sniffing out the con artists and the untrustworthy, in that they often behave just like this guy– offended– when asked to sign their name to their promises. 

Also, while I’m a Christian, there is a joke in the business world about alleged good Christians asking for discounts and claiming they don’t need to sign things because they are faithful and therefor honest people. Those same people would then try to hoodwink the businessperson to get free stuff and feel very entitled to not paying for extras, etc.

so, my alarm bells go off when someone tells me to “trust” them because they’re religious. No thanks. I’ll take a contract and leave the religion to our personal lives, where it belongs. furthermore, it’s  not as if he were your pastor, in which case I could understand his hurt feelings, but not his attitude. 




Post # 48
2883 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I didn’t have a contract with my officiant because he was a judge and not a minister. I paid a fee in exchange for his attendance and administration of the vows. If he hadn’t showed up, my lack of a paper contract wouldn’t have prevented me from getting a refund from the courts. And if I had one and he didn’t show up, I would still be entitled to nothing other than a refund. So in that case I didn’t worry about it.

However, in general, I don’t feel I need a contract with someone whose word I can trust. i.e. I wouldn’t ask my baby sister to sign a lease if she moved in with me. But if we don’t know each other, then what reason do I have to trust your word? All the moreso if there is money being exchanged. It’s cute that this pastor feels like he’s doing this out of the goodness of his heart, but if he’s charging you, then he obviously isn’t. No minister from my denomination would DREAM of accepting payment for officiating a wedding.  Finally, his ego is off the charts. “ultimate insult?” “slap in the face?” really?

I’d be all:

“Dear Reverend so and So,

Thank you for your email. I appreciate your clarity. I had no intention of offending you, but I have obviously done so and for that, I apologize. As you suggested, I will go ahead and book another officiant. Please feel free to bill me for the session we had where you attempted to help us with our “compatibly issues.”

Best wishes to you!”

He doesn’t do it for the money, but I bet he jumps at the opportunity to bill you for that “compatibly” session. Charlatan.

Post # 49
293 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2016

OMMMGGGGG “I have performed more weddings this year alone than you have attended in your lifetime”

Although I agree with most other people here, I don’t think a religious officiant should need a contract. 


Post # 50
5879 posts
Bee Keeper

I think it’s safe to say that  you should be looking elsewhere. 

Post # 51
1408 posts
Bumble bee

I still cant get over this so im following the thread.. Im really shocked. Hope all works out well with your reply letter, I like the response from above comment.  Id make it a little more insulting just as he has done to you.  Tit for Tat, sorry Revern so & so.

Post # 52
2883 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

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UndercoverKitty007:  right. And please be sure to misspell compatibility the way he did. You could even put it in quotes and use the term [sic] after to demonstrate ultimate pettiness.

Post # 53
523 posts
Busy bee

We went through a company that you can either choose an officiant or have one assigned to you. I didn’t have an official contract with the actual officiant, but there was one with the company, basically saying that if an emergency arose, we would still have an officiant, just perhaps not the one we chose, and that we would pay (obviously haha)

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