Post # 1
I just need a moment to vent here…
I am a bridesmaid in one of my best friends weddings. She is wonderful and I have been trying to work very hard on her bachelorette party and shower to make sure they are beautiful. We’re going out for her bachelorette party weekend and will be staying at my in-law’s beach house. I’ve planned the weekend activities, made reservations, researched shows, started facebook event pages to talk about details for this party etc. I e-mailed the girls (there are 4 other bridesmaids) and told them the final details and I would be bringing decorations, a mystery dessert (a certain shaped cookies!), a stromboli for late night snacking, and waters. I get a text from the Maid/Matron of Honor asking if I could bring the alcohol too. I was just speachless because…….. I AM 13 WEEKS PREGNANT! (She knows this). I texted her back and said what I was bringing but to ask the other girls about the drinks. I don’t think the pregnant lady (while doing other things) should be supplying the alcohol for other people!
Ok end vent.
Post # 3
What are you mad about? The cost or the inconvenience?
Post # 4
I don’t really think it’s unusual to ask a pregnant woman to bring something she won’t consume. I mean, I always supply soda at parties even though I don’t drink it. I brought wine to parties when I was pregnant, even though I wouldn’t be drinking it.
I do think it’s unfair that you seem to be doing the majority of planning, purchasing, and overall work that goes into the party. Who brings what needs to be delegated more fairly.
Post # 5
I completely agree with you–it’s weird to ask a pregnant woman to buy the alcohol! Especially given the fact that you’ve planned and bought so much other stuff. I think you’re in the right here.
Post # 6
Unless buying the alcohol means that you’ll be spending way more than the other ladies I don’t see what the issue is. I mean you can’t eat coldcuts either, if she asks you to pick up a sandwich platter are you going to refuse?
Post # 7
I think what has bothered me is I feel like I am doing so many other things planning the weekend and supplying other food and drinks and snacks when there’s four other people not bringing anything. Being pregnant is just the icing on the cake… I would hope I would be more courteous if the roles were reversed.
Post # 8
How come the other BMs aren’t bringing anything?
Post # 9
Yeah – I agree with the OP here – that is a bit odd. If the OP was doing NOTHING else, then maybe…..but I think it is a bit tacky to ask the lady who can’t drink to bring the drinks.
Post # 10
Not pregnant, nor have I been pregnant – but I am with you on this 100%. Unless it’s a situation of everyone bringing a dish and a bottle of something (and even then, you should be able to bring something you can actually consume), then there’s no reason the pregnant Bridesmaid or Best Man should have to supply the alcohol for everyone else to get drunk on when you can’t partake at all. Especially when you’re planning/doing/bringing so many other things.
Post # 11
I’m pregnant and I still show up to parties with a bottle or two of booze. If the problem is you spending way more time/money than the other girls, speak up, but don’t pull the pregnancy card!
Post # 12
do I think it’s weird to ask a pregnant woman to bring alcohol to a party? No.
Do I think i’ts unfair that they are asking you to bring alcohol ON TOP of what you are already doing/bringing, which is pretty much everything? Hell YES!
There is no reason that they cannot bring the alcohol,especially since you have done everything else.
Post # 13
@Christie: I agree, it’s weird that they don’t ask someone else to do it! It’s kind of rude to expect one person to do so much, and then to bring something she’s not even going to drink on top of it!
OP, I would tell the other BMs (and MOH) that you’re at the end of your limit when it comes to helping out for this one event.
Post # 14
Agree with the others. Ask them to supply their own alcohol, you’ve done enough.
Post # 15
If you usually drink alcohol prior to being pregnant then I dont see anything wrong with someone asking you to bring alchohol since its not somthing you usually avoid for religious/health reasons. But since you are bringing dessert and other things, maybe someone else should bring the alcohol
Post # 16
When I read the title of your post, my initial thought was that you were upset at being seen in public purchasing alcohol when you are pregnant.
It seems that this has more to do with money than pregnancy and I’m glad you told them you have done your share.