- 6 years ago
From my previous posts, you’ll remember that my SO’s brother has not been handling him moving out well. His brother has been having yelling fits and throwing temper tantrums…and he’s 21. No, that’s not a typo. He’s twenty one years old.
Last night, my SO and I ended up having a huge fight when he told me he needs to spend less time with me and more time with his brother to calm him down. I told him that was ridiculous and that it’s basically like giving a toddler who is throwing a temper tantrum a lollipop. It’s not going to stop him from having tantrums, he’ll just keep having them so he can get more candy. SO didn’t see the connection. I told him if he really wanted to see his brother, he didn’t need to spend less time with me in order to spend time with him.
I suggested he go see him on Saturday when I knew I was going to be at a doctor’s appointment for a couple of hours anyway. He said it wouldn’t work because my appointment is at 1pm and his brother…wouldn’t be awake yet! Seriously? You’re bending over backwards for this brat and he can’t even get his ass out of bed before noon to see you when he’s the one complaining he never sees you. We argued about this for a while and I told him it wasn’t fair for us to give and give and not get the same respect back.
He said he understands his brother is jealous of what he has and he feels bad for him. I told my SO that he has nothing to apologize for. He deserves our wonderful apartment, he deserves his live-in girlfriend who cares deeply for him, and he deserves to have his stable, well paying job. He’s worked really hard for this and deserves to be happy and enjoy it. His brother is always going to find something to complain about or be jealous of, and he can’t keep rewarding his immature behavior. I asked him to please sit his brother down and explain this to him. He said he would when he went over to his parents’ house today.
This morning, I thought it over and told him it would be better if he didn’t tell his brother that if it was only because I asked him to. He needs to explain this to him when he actually means it, and right now, I’m not sure he actually does. After we talked about it for a while, I went off to work, and he went over to his parents’ house to visit his brother.
I’m sitting at work and my SO calls me. He’s never called me at work before. I ask him how he’s doing. He said he missed me and he “just wanted to hear my voice”. He said even though his brother knew he was coming over to spend time with him, he was still asleep, and when he tried to wake him up, he yelled at him to go away…This was at noon…
He sheepishly said he loved me, and couldn’t wait to see me when I got home. I’ve since gotten 5 texts telling me how much he loves me and he called me again on my lunch break….
I’m not one to say “I told you so…” but….lol