Post # 1
Since getting engaged a few months ago, I’ve been pressed with the daunting task of choosing my Maid/Matron of Honor. For some this decision may be easy, but definitely not for me? I’m torn between my bestfriend and my sister. My sister and I are somewhat close and I have been bestfriends with my bestfriend since the fourth grade. My sister seems like an obvious choice seeing as she was basically born into the role; however, my bestfriend understands me far better and I believe she would do a better job. I am leaning more toward my bestfriend, but I know without a doubt that if I were to choose my bestfriend over my sister, her feelings would be deeply hurt. Alas, my predicament.
So if you were me, or as an unbiased third party, who do you think I should choose?
Post # 3
I’d choose your sister. You may lose touch with best friends down the road but family will always be there.
Post # 4
Your sister, I agree with MrsN14.
Post # 5
I know some will tell you to pick your sister because family sticks around forever, however, I think you should pick your best friend if you feel you are closer to her. Future Mother-In-Law absolutely insisted that Fiance choose his brother to be his best man even though he is definitely closer to his best friend. I just don’t like the idea of choosing a family member (just because they are family) over a friend who you are closer too.
Anyways, if I were in your position, I would choose who I am closest too regardless of whether they are family or not.
ETA: My mom and dad both chose people other than their siblings to be the Maid/Matron of Honor and the Bridesmaid or Best Man. It is true that they don’t talk to these friends as much anymore, however, I asked at their anniversary party and they said they wouldn’t change their minds even knowing that they wouldn’t be as close to their friends in the future.
Post # 6
Have two maids of honor! FH didn’t want to choose between his brother and his best friend, so he is having two best men.
Post # 7
- Wedding: October 2014 - Church
@smerstar: Why not make them both MOHs? There is nothing wrong with that and I have seen that so many times (they both represent a different part of you). Or not have an Maid/Matron of Honor at all?
Post # 8
@smerstar: Is your wedding really in 2016? If so, it is WAY and I mean, WAY to early to even think about picking your bridal party! Trust me!
Post # 9
I agree with PPs, have 2 MOHs!!!
Post # 10
Is either one of them married, because the Matron of Honor & Maid of Honor, seems like a nice semantic way of putting things to me. 😉
Post # 11
I would just have two MOHs! But as PPs have said, if your wedding isn’t till 2016 please don’t say a word to either of them about it for a couple more years at least! If you’re doubtful as to why, just go to the bridesmaids board and read a million posts from people upset at their Maid/Matron of Honor or bridesmaids and saying that person or the relationship has changed and that they shouldn’t have made the decision so early.
Post # 12
Sister. My sister is only 18 and pretty much won’t be helping with anything and I have a best friend who would be a perfect Maid/Matron of Honor, but I asked my sister and my best friend will ask her sister when she gets married. Unless you are estranged, I would ask your sister and/or have two MOH’s or just don’t have a Maid/Matron of Honor and have everyone be a bridesmaid.
Post # 13
- Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast
If yoiur wedding is really 3 years away, then don’t decide now. Wait until 9 months before the wedding, and see where things stand. If you are still super close with both of them at that point in time, there is nothing wrong with having 2 MOHs OR having all bridesmaids with no Maid/Matron of Honor.
Post # 14
Sister. Even if you think your best friend would “do a better job”, your sister is almost certain to remain in your life, less so than your best friend. And there’s not too much to the “job”, except that maybe your best friend would throw a better bachelorette party; but you could always delegate the beachelorette party to your friend.
Alternatively, don’t have a Maid/Matron of Honor and call them both bridesmaids. That’s what I did, though in my case there was a fair age difference between me and my sister, so it wasn’t so obvious that she was the natural choice.
Post # 15
I’m probably the odd one out here… But family doesn’t necessarily stick around forever… For me, I count my family as the ones who have stuck around, who know me best and who would do anything for meMy if you’re closer to your best friend, I think she should be Maid/Matron of Honor. I’d talk to your sister beforehand to let her know your decision and your reasons why.
Post # 16
i chose my sister for my first wedding. even though the marrage ended in divorce she was hell bent in ruin all the fun things that come with pre wedding activities… second marriage came along and i asked my best friend– she was there from 7 grade, first mariage bridal party my kids births and all the life moments. i learned from my past not to include my sister in bridal party, had a cousin, and 3 friends. wouldnt have traded anything for the girls lined up with me this time.. my sister was mad she wasnt involved this time around…
i say have 2 mohs or none at all and have all the bridesmaids take equal responsibilty in each thing u need them to do