(Closed) Oh dear, help choosing MOH.

posted 7 years ago in Bridesmaids
  • poll: Your MOH should be...

    Your sister.

    Your bestfriend.

    Good luck with that!

  • Post # 17
    Member
    227 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    I see a ton of drama on these boards because people choose their sister, even though they doubted their sister would be best in the role. 

    Your best friends feelings will be hurt as well…especially when you sister fails to be supportive and she picks up all the pieces, but gets none of the acknowledgement. I’ve been best friends with the same girl for 20 years already, neither one is going any where, so I don’t buy the “friends leave” argument any better than you might stop talking to your sister eventually because of drama, argument.

    Or, you could make them both Maid/Matron of Honor. There are no rules.

    Post # 18
    Member
    23589 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2011

    I agree that you should have 2 MOHs! That being said…I was in the same predicament, and ended up with my sister as a Bridesmaid or Best Man (granted, she’s 8 years younger) and my best friend as my Maid/Matron of Honor.

    Post # 19
    Member
    1789 posts
    Buzzing bee

    When I get married, I will definately have my BFF Laura as a Maid/Matron of Honor, but my friend Amanda set my SO and I up, and she and her man have been dating longer than my SO and I have, so Im assuming that she will be married by the time I am, so she will be a Matron.

     

     

     

     I cant imagine not having Laura as a Maid/Matron of Honor, weve been freinds for 16 years, she is one of 2 friends who are my oldest and dearest. But if it wasnt for Amanda, I would have never met the love of my life. So, they are both going to be there with me, along with the other BMs

     

    Luckily, my SO has 2 bffs, and I know he wont be able to choose who gets best man, so that works out.

     

    I know alot of people have family in their wedding party, but if your friend is closer than your sister, have her as a Maid/Matron of Honor ig you cant decide. But, do not make her one if you feel it is out of obligation. HAve here there if you WANT her there. There are alot of Bees that post about forced wedding parties. And all the drama that comes with it.

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    @Brooke1226:  +1

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

    Post # 20
    Member
    79 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: March 2015

    I was the Maid/Matron of Honor for my best friend’s wedding over her TWIN SISTER.  I think it turned out ok in the end but honestly it was REALLY awkward!  Almost everyone assumed her sister was the Maid/Matron of Honor during the whole process and she had to keep explaining that her friend was her Maid/Matron of Honor and her sister was her bridesmaid.  I could feel some hard feelings from not only her sister but the whole family at times.  So just understand that choosing you friend over your sister may be hard for your friend as well! 

    And if you do choose your sister to be your Maid/Matron of Honor, that doesn’t mean that your friend can’t be just as involved in all of the planning and what not.  If you feel more comfortable asking her to help you with your dress then have her help you.  If you want her to be very involved with the bridal shower and what not than just let your sister know that you want your friend involved.  I think that weddings parties have sort of evolved over the years. It really is no longer the MOH’s sole responsiblity to plan everything and even pay for the whole bridal shower.  It takes a TON of pressure off everyone when you decide to have everyone in the bridal party involved. For example, for my Best Friends wedding we had a bridal shower hosted by the Maid/Matron of Honor and all of the bridesmaids and a group toast at the wedding.  BTW, the group toast was GREAT! 

    Post # 21
    Member
    8683 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2013

    @smerstar:  my sister is a bridesmaid and my best friend of over 25 years is my MOH. There are pictures of me at my 3rd bday party before mY sister was even born and my best friend is right next to me!

     

    ETA: Is your wedding all the way in 2016? If so, I wouldnt worry about this for a good 2 years.

     

     

     

    Post # 22
    Member
    112 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    Sister…or, have two MOHs.  There is no reason you can’t.  I am having two Maid/Matron of Honor b/c I have two sisters and there is no way I could pick a “favorite.”  My wedding party is small (my two sister’s, my fiance’s sister, and my best friend). I was going to make three MOHs (my sisters and my friend), but once I added his sister, I am doing two Maid/Matron of Honor and 2 BMs.  My friend is really the one doing all the Maid/Matron of Honor work though—b/c one sister is getting married 6 months before me, and the other is still in high school.  

     

    Generally, I agree though–pick sisters over friends for Bridesmaid or Best Man, because you will always be connected to them, while friends can change (even if that seems impossible now).  Regardless however, it’s your day, do what you want! 

    Post # 23
    Member
    279 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    I have two MOHs — my sister and my best friend. But if you don’t want two, then I say go with your sister, especially since you two sound very close, and mayeb have the best friend have a special role besides just bridesmaid as well (invite her more into the decision process on things and let her know that she’s important, too).

    Post # 24
    Member
    9806 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2013

    I have 2 Maid/Matron of Honor as well.  As long as they get along I think it works out great!

    Post # 25
    Member
    206 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    Why not both! 🙂 that’s what I would do!

    Post # 26
    Member
    1475 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    I would choose my best friend if you are closer to her.

    Post # 27
    Member
    1848 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: April 2015

    I chose your BFF because you get to choose who you want, not go with the default because someone is related to you.

    You could have two MOHs. I do! It’s great.

    Post # 28
    Member
    3723 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    2 MOH’s! That’s what I’m doing. No big deal!

    Post # 29
    Member
    926 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    I’d steer clear of the family drama & choose your sister. I do like the idea of having 1 Matron of honor & 1 maid of honor if one of them is married and one is not.

    Post # 30
    Member
    1030 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    I’d make them both MOH’s. Why not? 🙂 But I do agree that it might be best to wait a little while. 2016 is a long way away and things might change in that time. If you had to pick one, I would say go with your sister. She will always be a part of your life because of family and your bestie is more likely to understand that choice than you sister to understand you choosing someone over her. good luck!

    Post # 31
    Member
    1572 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    AS someone who has been the best friend who ‘took’ the role from the sister, I think it would be best to just give it to your sister.

    I was friends with sisters, and lost a friendship with the sister who wasn’t getting married, because i was asked to be Maid/Matron of Honor and accepted. Sister I am no longer friends with, and her mother, made life miserable for both the bride and myself. I would never have said yes had I anticipated all that drama.

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