(Closed) Oh dear, help choosing MOH.

posted 7 years ago in Bridesmaids
  • poll: Your MOH should be...

    Your sister.

    Your bestfriend.

    Good luck with that!

  • Post # 32
    Member
    10361 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2010

    You are allowed to have 2 MOHs, or none at all. Either would solve the problem!

    Post # 33
    Member
    3194 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    @smerstar:  i assume your wedding date isn’t really in 2016? if it is, it is way too early to be picking your bridal party. if things are still the same in two years, make them both MOH’s.

    Post # 34
    Member
    57 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    View original reply
    @GoldStar: This is what I’m doing! My sister’s first words after she found out I got engaged were “Oh so I’m the maid of honor right?” Awkward, since I wasn’t planning on it, so I made her my matron of honor and my best friend (Whom I’ve been best friends with since we were out of the womb) my maid of honor.   

    Post # 35
    Member
    925 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: April 2014

    I have been blessed with some amazing women in my life, my sister included. I simply could not choose one Maid/Matron of Honor, so I’m having all bridesmaids. This takes a lot of the pressure off of that one person, too. For instance, one of my bridesmaids is dying to throw me my shower, and one of them told me she’s already working on my speech. And, Hell, I can plan my own bachelorette party. It has worked out incredibly well for me, because now I know their happiness for me is genuine and that they will help out only when they physically/emotionally/financially can (e.g. maybe not so doable for my 17-year-old sister who lives across the country, or one of my best friends who lives in Alaska).

    I do agree with PPs, though, that if your only problem is choosing between the two, have them both be your MsOH!! Is one of them married? Then you can make her the “Matron” and the other your “Maid.”

     

    ETA: I didn’t get the chance to read through all of the other posts, so sorry if this is redundant!

     

    Post # 36
    Member
    90 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    I’ve chosen my sister over my best friend because I am very close to my sister and we talk daily and hang out a lot. So I feel like when it’s a ‘tie’ or you are close to your sister, pick the sister. But in your case, it seems like you are closer to your best friend and she’s been around since 4th grade, so I’d chose her!

    Post # 37
    Member
    38 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: March 2014

    I agree with PPs.  Wait for a bit. 

    I’m honestly closer friends with a different girl now than I was two years ago, so I would ahve been very dissappointed if I’d already picked. 

    I also am having two – one a maid, one a matron (by happenstance) because they have both played such important roles in my life and both mean so very much to me.  I couldn’t imaginge getting married without them there, and honored as the two most important girl friends in my life.

    Post # 38
    Member
    66 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: August 2014

    Why not have a talk with your sister and BFF openly about the situation? They may have opinions or ideas that you did not yet think of. Maybe one of them wants it more than the other. Whichever you choose, make sure to make the other girl feel just as special and loved. You want to choose someone who has been by your side and will be close to your for a lifetime no matter what. That was me and why I chose my sister. I think a sisters bond is so incredibly strong. 

    I wish you best of luck in choosing, but I think talking to both of them about it may be really helpful and ease your mind. 🙂 

    Post # 40
    Member
    336 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: April 2014

    @smerstar:  I’d say best friend, or whatever feels right to you!  My fiance picked his best friend to be his best man, and brother as groomsman … now I think men react a tad different to this kind of stuff, but no hurt feelings that I know of yet.  Besides, it’s your wedding and about you and who you invision standing up beside you.  Your sister might feel an initial sting, but she should get over it for your sake … it’s your day and people shouldn’t make you feel bad about your choices, you’re the bride after all!

    Post # 41
    Member
    336 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: April 2014

    View original reply
    @Baroness_Meg:  that sounds awful.  I can’t believe they would make you feel poorly about it and lose a friendship!  Just terrible.

    Post # 42
    Member
    1348 posts
    Bumble bee

    I’ve been friends with my best friend since I was a toddler. My sister and I have had our ups and downs and my sister (like me) doesn’t like to get pictures taken, be infront of a lot of people, or get all dressed up. My Maid/Matron of Honor and likely only bridesmaid will be my best friend.

    Post # 43
    Member
    1572 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    View original reply
    @amRN:  Yea, I guess I should have expected it, as this family has always been overly dramatic. I don’t really miss that friendship at all, so it kind of worked out well! I am not that close with the bride anymore either.

    Post # 44
    Member
    107 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    Either have two MOHs, no MOHs, or pick your best friend. 

    Post # 45
    Member
    11517 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: May 2014

    My sister is my Maid/Matron of Honor but my friend J  (who I haven’t actually asked to be a Bridesmaid or Best Man yet because we haven’t been able to have a proper skype chat in a while and i refuse to ask via text or email) will actually be my sounding board for a lot of wedding things.  My sister (I actually have 2, the older one is the MOH) has a 1 year old, the cost of wedding stuff makes her angry and she really doesn’t have time to help me plan or care to listen to me talk about wedding stuff.  J on the other hand LOVES it, in fact she’s typically the one who brings up the wedding (I try and talk about the new man in her life and what she’s doing to make sure it’s not all about me!)

     

    I think you should ask your sister but lean on the bestfriend for advice.  I’m sure your friend will understand. 

    I know that my friends all expect sisters to be MOHs and are generally very understanding of that situation.

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