Post # 1
I love my Future Mother-In-Law and Future Father-In-Law. They are good people and they look out for us. Sometimes though, they can switch attitudes on me and give me whiplash haha. My Future Father-In-Law was proud the day my Fiance and I got engaged, but I know my Future Mother-In-Law had some reservations and was pressuring my Fiance to wait beforehand (since we were only 22 years old).
They would discuss wedding plans with me and seemed happy for about 6 months, but now they are determined to “make” us wait to get married for another 5-6 YEARS. I don’t know where this came from, but in December they began trying to dictate when we “can and can’t” do things. My Fiance and I haven’t had a chance to sit down and talk with them about this, since he’s been gone with the Army for training and I’m out of the state for school, this we are going to talk to them as soon as possible.
They are not paying for anything with the wedding except the rehearsal dinner (something my Fiance and I could easily cover if they decide to back out), so they can’t stop us from moving ahead with the wedding, but I want this to be a happy moment for them too and not filled with arguments about how we aren’t “allowed” to get married yet so they aren’t going to let it happen (guaranteed this is going to happen, Future Father-In-Law does NOT like, not getting his way).
Any insight into why they might be acting this way? The only thing I can come up with, is that they’ve felt this way since the beginning, especially with FMIL’s doubts, but have been hiding it. Or any ideas on how to approach them respectfully but without letting them walk all over us?
We’ve been together for 4 years and engaged 8 months, not getting married for a little over a year. Both of us are done with our bachelor’s degrees. He’s on active duty with the Army and I’m in grad school.
Post # 3
Oh wow, that really can be a downer! I can say that I understand you to a point. My man is in National Guard and with him coming and going, it doesn’t make it easy to do some things. Like plan a wedding and talk to the to-be in-laws.
I can’t think of why they would suddenly be like this! Besides from what you said, them not being all for it from the beginning. Maybe it’s suddenly hitting them that they’ll be without their son? Specially since he’s gone now they know they’ll see less of him. That can be rough. It’s too bad they’re not more supportive about it all though! You two have been together for quite some time, it would be nice if they were happy knowing that he has you to come home to.
Post # 4
Is he probably going to be deployed or moved to a station as part of the Army? Because if he is you can use that as the rational for getting married young to his parents because you do not want to be left behind, per the Army’s rules about spouses.
Post # 5
Is he the youngest? I feel like my SO’s mother hates me just because I’m “taking away her baby.” She would deny it.
Post # 6
@sodapopfizz: I’m just worried about them starting an argument over this. Future Father-In-Law is former military, so he’s used to telling people to jump and watching them promptly pull out the trampoline while asking “yes, sir, how high, sir?” I’ve never argued with them before and I’d rather it not be over such a happy time in our lives 🙂 Sometimes it’s inevitable though.
I just thought, it may be somewhat from the shock that my Future Sister-In-Law is expecting her first baby (yay!!) and they’re about to be grandparents haha! This starting happening before we got the news but it may be why it intensified 😀
Post # 7
@lefeymw: Yes, he’s being sent to Germany in a few months. He’ll be stationed there the next 3-4 years.
@love108: Yes, he’s the baby of the family. I’ve felt that way sometimes too, haha.